For The Things I Cannot Change
by stephyswan
Summary: grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference. (OC)
1. Chapter 1

pretty sure I messed up my numbers somewhere. let's assume that erin was 18 in 1992, and that it's season one right now... that means no blue templar (yet) and Nicky is about 14 or 15 here.

 _"Mom I don't think I can do this!" Eighteen year old Erin Reagan screamed at the top of her lungs. She was in so much pain- the baby was coming, and fast. Mary stood by her side, grasping her daughter's hand tightly. They were in the middle of nowhere New Jersey in a quiet hospital room at three in the morning. Erin was beyond exhausted._

 _"Erin you're almost there just keep pushing!" Mary supported._

 _"The head is crowning. Come on just a couple more pushes!" The nurse supported. Erin didn't think she had it in her to push anymore- how did her mother do this for four children? She was certainly done after this one._

 _It was just like in the movies- Erin gave a bloodcurdling scream and then the baby's cries were heard. Erin let out a smile before throwing herself back onto the bed. Her breathing was heavy- she was exhausted, but her baby had finally been born._

 _The nurse cleaned her off before handing her to Erin. Erin looked down at the bundle in her arms. She_ had _created this life all by herself, even though she hadn't asked for it. And she needed to protect it._

 _"Have you figured it out Mom?" Erin asked._

 _"Yes, she will be completely safe."_

 _Erin looked down at the beautiful brown eyed baby looking up at her. It was like she knew that this was her mother, and she knew what was about to happen because then she decided to burst into tears dramatically and Erin didn't know how to react. She put the baby close to her and hummed a song as she rubbed the baby's back. She couldn't grow attached to it, not after the arrangements had been made._

 _"Erin... do you know what you want to name her?" Mary asked, standing close to her with her arms crossed. She didn't want to seem mean but she knew her daughter would grow attached and that would not end well for either her or the baby._

 _"Francine Marie. After the two best parents a girl could ask for." She cried, holding back tears. Her mom patted her on the shoulder._

 _"Erin, you have to do this. He is after her and you. If we can protect her than she will be safe."_

 _"I know. But she's my baby... and I'll never get to see her again..." Erin cried._

 _"You don't know that honey. Now give me the baby." Mary held her arms out. Erin kissed the baby on the forehead, whispered an 'I love you' and passed the baby to her mother. Her mother cuddled the baby and walked out of the room._

 _Erin let out another cry, one that was more pained than the one she had while giving birth. She wanted to tell herself she had done the right thing._

 _But had she?_

Lizzie Johnson, voted most likely to succeed on Broadway by the kids in her school, couldn't fake a smile if she wanted to at that current moment. She had been sitting on a bus for 8 hours without getting off once to get from her hometown of Chicago, Illinois, to the Big Apple, NYC. She smelled awful, needed a shower, and was starving.

She knew that running away from home was not her greatest idea ever, but she didn't know what to do. She had no one to talk to or turn to. The police were looking for her, and yet...

Her grandmother used to tell her that if she was ever in trouble, she needed to find the New York city police commissioner as soon as she could. She had looked the guy up years after this had occurred- to find that a guy with a mustache was the Commissioner, and his father was before him.

She played with her hair, loosely thrown back in a french braid. She was wearing her red flannel and jeans, her phone and earbuds on her lap. Her eye throbbed in addition to the bruise running down her face. No one asked, and she didn't mind.

Lizzie didn't know the guy, but she had no choice. So here she was, sitting next to a fatter man who had been snoring since they left eight hours ago, on a bus that's seats had no comfortable place to put your head.

The bus stopped suddenly and the driver announced a gas station stop- to go get food and use the restroom while the buses were being gassed. The man next to Lizzie continued snoring loudly, and Lizzie jumped at the opportunity to get off the bus.

Walking through the gas station, Lizzie stared at all of the junk food in front of her. She hadn't eaten anything since it happened, and yet the thought of eating made her sick. But at the same time... she was starving...

She grabbed a bag of gummy bears off the rack and paid for them, staring at the TV in the corner, reporting on homicides in New York. For some reason, she couldn't take her eyes off the screen, watching the cop push the bad guy into his car. He looked familiar... and Lizzie couldn't put her finger on it.

Going back to the bus, she munched on her gummy bears, staring at the empty roads in front of her.

Start spreading the news, Lizzie left the Windy City today.

Erin Reagan (formerly Boyle) sat at her desk in her office at the District Attorney's building. Just a normal day of looking at cases and flipping through file folders of papers to convict people of murder, stealing and rape.

What else was new?

She opened her desk drawer and pulled out the envelope. There was one picture of her holding the baby, among a bunch of other ones showing her child growing up. The one she hadn't seen since she was born 18 years ago.

And every time she saw one of those pictures, Erin felt an enormous pang of guilt in her stomach- she had missed so many years of this child's life. Technically, she wasn't a child anymore, she was probably graduating soon.

They had eventually locked up the man, a couple years after the baby had been born. He had come back for Erin. Her brother Danny the fresh detective had been so happy putting him behind bars.

Little did he know that man was the reason she had a child at eighteen and had to give her away to protect her.

He had said he would come after her to get the baby and her, so her mother had, without getting the commissioner involved, taken her to somewhere in the middle of nowhere and hid her there for the remainder and got the baby adopted somewhere she would never be found by him.

Her mother knew the family that had taken her in- they sent her pictures, for some apparent reason they thought that seeing pictures of her would make Erin feel better about the whole ordeal. It didn't, yes she was glad her daughter had grown up safe and getting everything she could have ever wanted, but it was the fact that she didn't get to see her grow up that hurt her.

And after all of this time, the Commissioner still didn't know. Her mother had arranged for Erin to take her college classes in the middle of nowhere because Mary didn't want to risk her daughter being found by the man. Frank didn't know about the granddaughter his daughter had named after him, and probably never would.

Well, she had intended to name after him. Her name had been changed at some point down the line so that Erin didn't know, so he couldn't know. She had no idea where she lived, the envelopes always came with no return addresses, but Erin was fine with that. Anything to protect her baby.

It wasn't that she didn't want to tell her family, it was that she knew they would furious she hadn't said anything at the time. They would have claimed that they would've helped raise her and that she should have kept her. But Erin was 18, going to school to become a law, and as much as she loved the child, she knew it just wouldn't have worked out.

Erin sighed, putting the envelope back in the drawer. She wondered what her daughter was doing at that exact second. She knew she shouldn't dawdle, but she would never stop feeling the guilt and regret pinging in her stomach.

"Hey Mom," Erin was startled by the sound of her own daughter's voice ripping her away from her thoughts. It always made her feel better knowing she had at least done one of her children right.

"Hey Nick... is it three already?"

"No... I just wanted to come see you because you're my favorite parent."

"That's not saying much."

"I know... but I looovveee you." Nicky said, attacking her mother in a hug.

"Alright what did you do wrong?" Erin smiled knowing her daughter was up to something.

"Well some of my friends invited me to hang out with them after school..."

"And you came here to sweeten me up so I would let you go..."

"Mom... I know you want what's best for me and all of that but I am 14 years old. I want to be able to go hang out with my friends without having to beg you."

Erin thought back to the pictures in her drawer. She only had one daughter she could show her love to...

"Yeah. Just call me when you get there. And you have to be home for dinner. Call me and I'll come get you."

"Alright, Mom... I love you." Nicky said, looking at her mother.

"I love you too honey."

"Do I hear the Reagan girls having a moment?" Danny walked into the office, receiving an immediate hug from Nicky.

"Hi Uncle Danny!" The teenager said, before going back to sit down on one of the seats in her mother's office.

"What can I do for you Danny?"

"Need help with a case."

"And..."

"Kids were shot in a bar. Need to look into their backgrounds..."

Erin rolled her eyes. "Why couldn't you have asked someone else for help?"

Danny grinned, "because I wanted to come here and see you sister..."

Frank Reagan sat at his desk like he did everyday scrolling through the New York news on his laptop. He couldn't explain the gut feeling in his stomach that said today was different, although he had no idea why. Danny was working on a case, Erin was in her office, Jamie was patrolling with his partner... his children were fine. His grandchildren were all at school. His father was sitting at home working on a new recipe. Everything was the same as always.

Baker walked in, the look on her face clearly agitated. "Sir, there is a girl here to see you. She doesn't have an appointment but she says it's important. I tried to get rid of her, but.."

A brunette girl about five feet five inches walked in. The first thing Frank noticed about her was the black eye and bruise that took over half of her face. For some reason she looked a lot like Nikki, same eyes, same nose, same color hair. The only difference was that this girl's hair went halfway down her back, like Erin's did when she was in high school.

This girl looked like Erin.

"What can I help you with, young lady?" The Commissioner asked.

"I'm looking for the Commissioner. I know he knows my grandma."

"And who might your grandmother be?"

"Her name was Mary..."

Frank's eyes widened. "What was her last name?" He asked. He pushed the thought of his Mary out of his mind. He still missed her. It had been almost five years and he still missed having his other half around. And his children and grandchildren missed him as well.

"She told me I couldn't know that. She used to come visit me all of the time when I was little. But then all of the sudden she stopped. She sent me a letter when I was 12 telling me that if I was ever in trouble I needed to find the New York Commissioner because he would be able to help. She died later that year from cancer." The girl glumly looked down.

"And what is your name?"

"My friends call me Lizzie. Look, I know I was rude to just show up here, but it's bad. My parents were murdered in front of me by some man. The man has this weird obsession with me and he made me watch as he killed my parents, claiming they were fake and that soon I would get to have my real ones. I escaped and took a plane here as fast as I could."

"Where are you from?"

"Chicago..."

"I'm sorry about your parents... but this is a case for the Chicago PD, and I have nothing to do with them."

"Look, my grandmother told me to find you if something went wrong. My parents are dead and there is a psycho man trying to kill me. I'm sorry that I consider that being things going wrong!" The girl started crying at that point and collapsed on the floor of the Commissioner's office. The Commissioner sat in his chair, shocked by the situation, not quite sure what to do as his next move.

Baker opened the door and picked in with a questioning look as if to ask him if he wanted her to get rid of the girl for him. He shook his head and she disappeared on the other side of the door.

"My son is a detective, I'll ask him to look into the murder for you." The Commissioner declared, pulling out his phone to call Danny. He was about to call when the girl let out another cry.

"Where am I supposed to go? I have no one!" The girl yelped, still in hysterics in the middle of the Commissioner's office.

Frank thought for a moment. He could take her to the homeless shelter for the night, or have Baker deal with it, but the look of desperation in the girl's eyes were one he only seen once before, when his only daughter saw her mother die right in front of her. Frank looked down at his hands, but he couldn't get the image out of his head.

"Well, you can join me for lunch." He said, looking back up at her.

leave me a review & tell me what you think!


	2. Chapter 2

"Reagan," Danny said, picking up his phone. He looked over at Jackie, who in turn looked back at him and tilted her head. They were tied up with a case about two teenagers being shot in the middle of a bar and they had absolutely nothing.

"Detective Reagan. I need a favor,"

"How can I help you Commissioner?" Danny said, leaning back on his chair. Jackie turned to look at her computer, and continued looking into their case.

"I need you to get every file that you can on a Lizzie Marie Johnson. She's lived in Chicago all of her life and claims her grandmother knows me, but she said there were some precautions put into place so she couldn't know much about her grandmother."

"On which side?"

"She doesn't know that either. She just says she used to go visit her all of the time when she was little until she died. Danny, her parents are dead. She watched them get killed."

"Commissioner, why don't you do this yourself?" Danny said, shifting to start looking at the computer.

"I'm going out," Frank said, smiling at Lizzie. "Besides, I want you to do it. See what you can get from Chicago PD and get anything you can on this girl's family."

"Will do. Jack and I'll be right on it." Danny dropped his phone and put in the search for Lizzie Marie Johnson. Apart from the fact that there were thousands, he was able to narrow it down to just five with the right age group in Chicago.

"What'd the Commissioner want?" Jackie asked, leaning forward to take a sip of her coffee.

"Needs me to look into this girl that showed up in his office. It must mean a lot to him if he asked me to do it."

"What's the name?"

"Elizabeth Johnson with parents Melissa and Chad."

"Yup. They were definitely murdered alright." Danny walked over to Jackie's side of the desk to see what she was pointing at. He saw the pictures of the father and mother, lying on the floor after being stabbed to death.

"Poor girl had to see this happen to her parents. No wonder she's traumatized."

"But what does she have to do with the Commissioner?"

"No idea. Said her grandmother knew him."

"Melissa was a middle school teacher and her parents are both in prison for battery charges in California and have been there for a while. Chad is a lawyer and both of his parents are dead."

"Who could she be talking about then?" Daniel questioned, waiting for either himself or Jackie to figure it out.

"Maybe she's adopted," the both of them said aloud simultaneously. Jackie continued looking through files. "Aha!" Jackie declared, pulling up a file, until being blocked by a login screen. Jackie fumbled with the keys putting in her ID, but the big red letters reading ACCESS DENIED shined in her face.

"Let me try." Danny said, putting in his credentials. He too was met with the access denied screen.

"What do we do now? We need a higher up to get in," Jackie gave Danny the _look._

"No Jack, I'm not asking my father to get the file for me."

"Reagan he asked you for the favor and all you're trying to do is do it for him. There's nothing wrong with asking him for help."

Danny scoffed. "Fine. But I'm going to wait until the rest of the files get shipped over here."

Lizzie Johnson was a lot of things. She was sweet, smart, charismatic, and able to handle anything. If you asked her how she felt about sitting in Times Square with the Police Commissioner of New York City sipping a Starbucks frap, she would tell you she was absolutely terrified.

"Lizzie- tell me more about yourself."

"I love singing- I'm in showchoir, _was_ in showchoir. I love acting, dancing, singing. But I was planning to go to college to become a lawyer. I don't know- watching them on TV always came close to my heart for some reason."

"And did you submit to any colleges?"

"I did. I'm in senior year. I've been thinking about it a lot. I wanted to originally study in New York, but my parents said it was too expensive. I love this city so much. I fell in love with it when I came here freshman year with my choir and we performed in Carnegie Hall."

"New York is a great city." The Commissioner agreed.

"Yeah. I remember after the performance I walked outside and gave my mom a hug and thanked her for letting me come here. It certainly wasn't the cheapest trip." Lizzie looked down, the sadness evident in her face.

"I have one of my top detectives working on the case. And your grandmother- she is real right?"

"I swear she's a real person. I know I sound like a crazy person because I can't tell you her last name, but she just... she was so sweet. There was something about her though that I cannot quite figure out. She was always so... protective of me. Like she was afraid I would break."

"That's what all parents do for their children."

"I know... but she was different. I don't know. Maybe I'm crazy. I just- I know I'm a legal adult and all of that, but my parents are never going to see me graduate high school or college or get married and have kids!" She started sniffling again. The commissioner again felt awkward with the situation, but since she reminded him of Nicky, he proceeded as would have with her.

"Things happen that we cannot control. These things can sometimes hurt us. The challenge is not to be strong when they happen but to be strong enough to rise above them and move on."

"That was good ." Lizzie nodded in agreement, wiping the tears off her cheeks, flushed with embarrassment that she had cried in front of the New York City Police Commissioner, twice.

The commissioner picked up his ringing phone, holding it to his ear.

"Danny is here. He has some files for you. Says he needs to talk to you."

"Alright. I'll be there."

"Danny what have you got for me? Detective, this is Lizzie Johnson, Lizzie this is Detective Reagan of the NYPD."

Lizzie waved nervously at the detective. Was it a coincidence that the both of them had the same last name? Or were they related?

Cop families must be weird.

"The CPD has been investigating, interrogating neighbors and friends of the Johnsons. But they've come up empty." Danny looked up at Lizzie. "Did they interrogate you? You're the prime witness."

"Except that I ran off and everyone thinks that I am dead. I don't have any relatives that aren't in jail or alive." Danny felt a stab at his chest. He couldn't imagine Jack or Sean not having any family to go to if he died. He couldn't imagine that. His family was too close.

"Was the man someone you knew?"

"No. But it felt like I should've known him the way he was talking to me. Said he was my father and that soon our family would be reunited."

"Are you adopted?" Danny bluntly asked. He knew that finding out you're adopted, not to mention after her parents were murdered right in front of her, hurt.

Lizzie slumped back in her chair, pouting slightly. "I guess it's possible. That would explain why this grandma lady wasn't related to either of my parents. Maybe she was my birth grandmother and my key to answers. And she's dead."

"Her name was Mary." Frank added, knowing that it would remind him of the same thing it did him. Their Mary, Danny and Erin and Jamie and Joe's mother, was the one who knew them all best. But she was gone too.

Danny pulled out another file from the stack. Opening this one showed the file of Lizzie Johnson. It said she was born September 14, 1992 and her parents were Melissa and Chad... as he continued flipping he saw nothing out of the ordinary... she was a great student...

Danny sighed. Those files that were locked probably contained something that could help them. Sighing, he debated asking his father for the password, but then his father cut him off.

"We'll get her police protection, just until we find out who this guy is. If he really is after her, he might have followed her to New York. And I will not have a girl that just lost her parents die in my city under my watch." Frank declared. "I know a lot of people that look to me to protect them, and this girl clearly falls under that category."

"Where are we going to take her though? It's not like we can take her home with us." Danny asked, knowing that she would be dropped off at the shelter tonight.

"Maybe we could leave her with Jamie. Sydney's gone now." Danny asked, really not wanting to drop off an eighteen year old girl that was now alone with a bunch of strangers when a lot of them were men. Besides, something just came to his mind, something that he needed time to do. He had a gut feeling, and his gut feelings were never wrong.

This girl that stared back at him looked just like Erin. His kid sister Erin, the one he fought with all the time when they were kids. But she was also his best friend and he knew that this girl was Erin.

"Danny we can't just leave a stranger with Jamie. That's against protocol."

"But Jamie is a cop, and she needs police protection. Okay, so maybe that is a really weird idea. Just please don't make me take her to the shelter." Danny begged. Frank tilted his head at him.

"I wasn't going to suggest that you take her to the shelter. I was going to suggest you take her with you back to the station and give your witness stand."

"Then what?" Danny asked, not sure where his father was going with this.

"We'll worry about that when the time comes. For now, we'll just treat this like any other case."

"We'll treat this like any other case? Are you saying that this kid who came halfway across the country to find you is nothing but a case to you?" Danny raged, getting irritated at his father's lack of concern.

"Detective Reagan-" Lizzie started but was then cut off by the PC.

"I didn't mean it like that Danny. There just isn't that much we can do.. And we would of course do all that we can..."

"And we will, because this case just took top priority for me.." Danny growled. "Let's go Lizzie..." Danny bolted out the door. Lizzie looked back at the Commissioner and he nodded, leaving her to go follow that crazy Detective Reagan.

Danny motioned for Lizzie to get in his car on the passenger side, and Lizzie obliged without saying anything, mainly because he looked really mad. Lizzie debated what she was going to say to him, she knew she needed to say something, but...

"Detective Reagan, I appreciate your defense of me, but you really didn't need to-"

"Look, you clearly had a reason for driving to New York to see my father. He cares about every single person in his city, but he has a lot on his mind right now. I'm the kind of person that doesn't stop until they get results."

"I can see that," Lizzie laughed.

"Can I ask you something?" Danny asked.

"Yeah..."

"Those bruises on your face?"

"Oh.." Lizzie didn't want to, but suddenly it felt like she was reliving the whole thing all over again. She gripped the edge of the seat as if it was her lifeline.

"I'm taking you to the hospital..." Danny started.

"No no no please no," Lizzie begged.

"Relax, I know someone there..."

"Hi Danny," Linda said when she saw him and a teenager girl walking through the hallway of the hospital. He had sent her a text saying he would show up but she was not expecting a teenager girl.

"Is your face okay?" The woman asked, now standing in front of her. She had short blonde hair and a look of concern of her face. and then Lizzie realized that the bruises from her fight with the murderer of her parents were still showing on her face. Between the Commissioner and Danny , no one had thought to clean the bruises. They were too concerned with trying to find out how she was connected to the Reagans, despite her lack of knowledge.

"Let me clean it up for you. I'm a nurse. C'mon," The blonde said. Danny walked over to her, leaning his mouth towards her ear.

"Get a DNA sample for me, and I'm not sure about possible rape...?" Linda nodded and then motioned at the girl, plopped down in one of the seats.

Lizzie hesitated, looking over at Danny for approval, and after he nodded she rose to follow the blonde. Once they went up to the ER, the blonde motioned for her to sit on the seat, and after fishing around she pulled out the first aid kit and started to work.

"I'm Linda by the way. I'm Danny's wife."

"I'm Lizzie." She bluntly responded, a little tired of being thrown around.

"Danny told me about you. I can't imagine you're having an easy time adjusting to finding out you're adopted, let alone the possibility of your birth father being involved. And losing your parents... I'm sorry kid." They stayed together in silence, Linda dabbing at the gashes on her face with an antiseptic before bandaging them.

"I know this is touchy, but I need to ask..."

"I was not raped." Lizzie declared.

"That's a good thing. And I need a sample of your DNA..." Linda grabbed a swab from the cabinet.

"I was bruised in the face, what does that have to do with my DNA?"

"It's a standard procedure." Linda said, putting the swab in her mouth. "Stay here." She said, wondering away to get the DNA processed for Danny. She didn't really know where he was going with this, but she supposed she should trust him.

"Good as new."

"Thank you." Lizzie said, getting off the counter.

"If you ever need anything, Danny or I are always a phone call away. Don't hesitate to call us, even if it's at three in the morning. We'll make time for you, you're important to us whether you like it or not."

"Thanks... Dr. Reagan?" She said in a questioning tone, tilting her head.

"I'm not a doctor, but thanks..." She said, slinging an arm around Lizzie. Lizzie snuggled into the embrace. But she was not going to cry. Not again. The two of them walked back to where Danny was sitting. He saw the two of them and got up.

"I need you to stay with Linda." Danny said, walking towards the door.

"Where are you going?" Linda asked, irritated her husband was just taking off.

"I need to go see Erin," He said before slamming the door behind him.


	3. Chapter 3

Linda raised an eyebrow with suspicion. "That was random." But then again, when wasn't her husband the crazy detective up to something?

"Who's Erin?" Lizzie questioned.

"Danny's sister. She's a lawyer, an Assistant District Attorney to be exact."

"Okay, but I thought you needed someone to convict before you started talking about giving a witness stand.."

"It's a personal visit. They're very close."

"What does that have to do with me? I'm just the stupid kid you have to babysit until you dump me off. It was a mistake coming here. I thought the Commissioner would be able to help me bring justice to my parents. Now I'm all alone." Lizzie dumped herself down on one of the chairs in the waiting room, realizing she had nowhere to go. Linda crossed her arms.

"The NYPD does everything they can to bring justice. There are 35,000 cops in the city. You're not alone. Once you have Danny Reagan on your side you're guaranteed results." This caused Lizzie to laugh. She had the same smile and laugh as Erin. Linda noticed the similarities but she wasn't really sure of what to make of the situation. She had to wait for the DNA results to get back from the lab. She had the feeling Danny was up to something but she didn't know what yet.

"I have to go work, but you can go get a coffee or something from the lounge and just chill here for a while."

"I hate coffee." Lizzie said for what seemed like the millionth time.

"Then a bottled water then, hydration is key." Linda smiled, before walking away.

Lizzie slumped back, watching the nurses run down the hall as her only source of entertainment, oh well, that one guy nurse was kind of cute.

Danny Reagan had been a detective for almost twenty years, and he seemed to get better at figuring out who the bad guys were, and always liked a good mystery. It was weird, how sometimes the person you thought could never be involved was actually the reason for everything.

He cruised down the road towards the District Attorney's office. There were a million different thoughts running through his mind. He knew he sounded crazy- that this random girl from Chicago could be his sister's daughter was a bit ridiculous... but it made sense. Erin's senior year she skipped her prom so she could move out to her college earlier. That struck as odd... she came back for her graduation, mainly because she was valedictorian and had to give a speech, and then she disappeared again.

Something about that always struck Danny as odd. Maybe it was the fact that his mother wouldn't let him go with to visit and that everytime she was brought up the subject was immediately shut down.

He didn't know what he was going to do. He thought about point blank asking her, but she would tell him like she usually did that he did not have enough evidence. So he needed evidence.

He now had Lizzie's DNA, now all he needed to do was get Erin's so that the two could be compared. If they matched he had his first piece of evidence.

Danny stopped at a street vendor by Erin's building to get two cups of coffee. He then walked to her building.

"Hey sis." Danny greeted when he opened her door.

"I don't have anything for you on that case yet." Erin said, dropping the pen that she was clicking absentmindedly.

"I know, but I figured you could use a cup of coffee."

"How sweet. What do you want Danny?" Erin said, not buying it.

"Wow." Danny scoffed. "All I did was buy you a cup of coffee and this is the thanks I get."

"Alright alright." Erin said, sipping the coffee. Danny waited until she put her lips on the cup before grabbing the cup back.

"I've decided you're not worthy of this coffee. I'll give it to my favorite sibling instead... Jamie." Danny said, rushing out before Erin could question him.

He drove back to the lab where the DNA analysis on Lizzie was being done. He of course gave the sample of Erin's DNA as well. He knew he would have to wait a few hours for

the results, so he was ready to relax when his phone rang.

"Reagan." He answered.

"Danny we've got a lead in this case and I need you to get down here." Jackie started.

"Jack... this thing I'm looking into for my dad..." He tried.

"I just need a couple hours... please Danny." Jackie begged. Danny couldn't say no to his partner... he would rather have her for a sister than Erin.

"Alright alright I'm on my way." He hung up before dialing Jamie.

"Listen I need a favor." Danny started.

"Yeah?" Jamie answered.

"I need you to get some analysis papers from the DNA lab and bring them to Linda at the hospital."

"Why me?"

"Cause they're personal and I don't want anyone seeing them." Danny answered logically. The actual reason was that he figured Linda would get mad at him if he left Lizzie there- so he would have Jamie take her... for now.

Jamie sighed. "Okay. I'll be there."

"Thanks little brother. You're the best."

Jamie sighed. He hung up, looking over at Renzulli, looking eagerly at the rookie cop. "I have to go do something for my brother."

Renzulli laughed. "Of course... your brother makes you do all the dirty work."

Lizzie was bored out of her mind. There was literally nothing interesting going on in this hospital. She was at least hoping for some drama between the doctors... okay, so she watched a little too much Grey's... but that was irrelevant.

"I'm here!" Another voice, male this time, and a slam of the double doors. Lizzie saw that this guy was hot. He wore the NYPD uniform. He was one hot cop...

And his tag read Reagan...

Anotha one?

He talked to one of the nurses before Linda showed up and grabbed the papers out of his hands. She studied them before whispering something to him and they both looked over at Lizzie. Lizzie blushed, pretending to pick at her nails, like she hadn't been watching them the whole time.

"Are you sure?" She heard him say to Linda.

"Look at this, all we need to do know is confront her?"

Oh great... confrontation...

 _This woman leaves behind a suffering child._

 _There is none but me who can intercede,_

"Hey Lizzie, I'm Jamie," her uncle held out his hand, and she shook it. She wasn't sure how she had ended up meeting another Reagan, this one number four, and yet here she was.

Jamie saw the resemblance. And he saw the results on that DNA test.

"So which Reagan are you?" Lizzie asked, smiling.

"The one who dropped out of Harvard Law to become a cop. But that's irrelevant. What's your story?"

"Uh Grandma told me to find the PC, so I did." Lizzie chuckled nervously.

She hadn't inherited her father's ugly laugh like Nicky. "Tell me about your grandmother. She must be pretty great if she knows the PC. I should know..."

"She was so sweet. She had a way of making you smile when you were at your saddest. I remember I was heartbroken because I didn't get the rule of Annie in the school musical. I got to play the role of Grace in addition to the cop that chases Annie. She told me that playing the cop was important because being a cop meant putting the people of your city before yourself. She told me she knew the police commissioner of New York as well as the fact that two of her sons were cops, her daughter was a lawyer and her youngest son was going to Harvard."

Jamie smiled. This kid was his niece. He knew it. He slung an arm around Lizzie. "Something tells me you won't be alone anymore."

"What is that supposed to mean?"

"We found your family... your biological one." Linda said, appearing out of nowhere.

"Well, what are we waiting for? I'm already 18, I might as well retire now."

"Uh... Lizzie..." Jamie started, stopping her before she could get up.

"What?" She said, not figuring out the look the two of them were giving her.

"You're a Reagan." Linda started.

Lizzie's jaw dropped. This meant she was related to everyone she had met in this crazy adventure. She was related to Danny and Linda and Jamie and the PC...

That's why her grandmother sent her there! Everything made sense then.

"Wait a minute, if I'm a Reagan, then who are my parents?" Linda and Jamie looked at each other, probably debating whether or not to tell her. "Well?" She motioned, waiting for a response.

"Let's go Liz..." Jamie said, standing up. Lizzie followed him, waving to Linda as they walked towards the elevator.

"What is the big deal? Is Danny my dad? What?" Lizzie grunted, frustrating no one was answering.

"Well, there were four of us. There's me, Danny, Erin..." he paused, "and my brother Joe. He was shot and killed in the line of duty. He was a cop as well.." Jamie and Lizzie were now on the sidewalk, walking alongside the streets of NYC. Lizzie had absolutely no idea where they were going, but at this point she wasn't really surprised. She had been thrown around again.

"Am I Joe's kid? What am I missing?" Lizzie tried.

"I just... I never expected this to come out of the blue. I never expected your mother of all people to have a secret like this..." Jamie said, running his hand through his hair. The two of them met up with a fatter cop leaning against a wall eating a donut.

"Is this what Danny sent you to do?" He asked before taking another bite out of his donut.

"She's my niece." Jamie defended, smiling at Lizzie. She smiled back. At least he seemed proud of the fact. "I'm going to take her to the District Attorney's offic-" Suddenly his radio started buzzing and the two cops shared a look.

"I'll just get a taxi... it's okay..." Lizzie said. The two looked unsure.

"You guys go do your job, save people. I'll be fine."

Erin loved her job. Being a lawyer gave her the opportunity to serve the law while not being a cop. It was great.

The door opened and Erin rolled her eyes when she saw that it was Danny again. If he was had more coffee in his hands.. "Sis. I need to talk to you." He said, standing with his arms crossed in front of her desk. Erin leaned back in her chair and glared at him. He looked serious... and pissed.

"Where were you on September 14th 1992?" He questioned, and he noticed Erin's eyebrows drop for a split second. Confirmed.

"In college. Studying law." Erin quivered.

"Are you sure sis? That you weren't in a hospital giving birth to a baby girl?" Danny angrily pulled out a folder. He stuck Lizzie's senior picture in front of her next to Erin's picture and stuck the DNA results in the middle of them.

Erin was shocked. "Danny I can explain-"

"Why didn't you tell me? Why didn't you tell me you had a daughter! She was my niece. I could've helped you raise her! Linda and I would have taken her in! You didn't have to give her up for adoption!"

"That's not why I did it Danny!" Erin bit back.

"What was your reasoning then?" Danny pushed.

"I needed to protect her!"

"Protect her from what? She was born into a family of cops, one of them the Police Commissioner! What couldn't we protect her from?"

Erin was about to respond when her door opened, revealing her secretary and a girl, who blushed at being looked at. "Excuse me Ms. Reagan. This girl was standing at the door listening, quite intently I might add." Lizzie smiled nervously as the secretary shut the door behind her. Erin's eyes widened as she rose up slowly from her chair and walked over to the girl.

Erin stared, blinking. The girl appeared to be about 16, with long brown hair that ran halfway down her back. She had it pulled back in a french braid messily, like bothering to fix it wasn't worth the hassle. She wore a plaid shirt and jeans among worn black sneakers. Studying her facial features, she saw her own eyes, but that nose.

Erin closed her eyes. They were his.

"You're Erin right? Otherwise this will be more awkward than it already is." Lizzie questioned, feeling the pressure of Erin's eyes studying her.

Erin looked like her. She wore the same cold expression she did, with the same cold eyes.

" _It's a personal visit._ " That's what Danny had called it. It wouldn't be personal if she wasn't related to Erin in _some_ way, shape, or form. But Danny was Erin's sister... so that means she's related to him too. And the police commissioner as well.

Erin, now in shock, turned back to Danny. "Francine... that's what I was going to name my daughter. It's not really Irish- "

"My name is Elizabeth Marie, but I go by Lizzie."

"Well at least they kept your middle name." Erin mumbled. It was so hard for her to get the words out of her mouth. She choked up and feared she was going to lose it. This was a lot to take in...

Lizzie looked at the woman standing in front of her. She took a deep breath.

"Ms. Reagan, I'm your daughter."


	4. Chapter 4

Danny rose, declared he was going to get the three of them coffee, and left. Lizzie debated whether or not to point out to him that she hated coffee again, but she decided now was not the time.

Erin led Lizzie to the armchairs in her office and the two of them sat down. Erin sighed, debating whether or not to hold her daughter's hand, then folded her hands on her lap.

"So tell me about yourself." Erin said, biting at the tension in the air.

"I'm a senior in high school and I love singing and acting. I originally wanted to become a lawyer, but now I'm starting to dislike the idea. I'm sure you're great, I just didn't know that cops and lawyers were the family business."

"I didn't want to give you up." Erin declared bluntly. Lizzie shrunk back, the both of them were thinking about the same exact thing but neither of them would admit it. "You were the result of a rape when I was eighteen. They didn't catch the guy and I knew he would be back so I gave you away to protect you."

"What did you mean he would be back?"

"He raped me in hopes that I would marry him if I got pregnant. He was a psychopath. He wanted me to build a family with him. All because I was a Reagan and was the grandchild of the Police Commissioner at the time. Sounds stupid, I know, but I guess he was a mega fan of the Reagans."

"And?"

"He ran. When you were born my mother arranged for you to be adopted by a young but older than me couple in Chicago. He came back, demanding you and I told him you were miscarried. He was about to rape me again and Danny came in and arrested him. He didn't know about you. I didn't tell anyone except my mother for fear he would somehow find out you were alive. To this day I am still afraid he is out there somewhere. People like this do not change."

"Is your mother Mary?" Lizzie asked, choosing to avoid the subject at hand because it was making her sick.

"Yeah. Why?"

"She visited me when I was a kid. Told me if I was ever in trouble I needed to find the New York Commissioner because he would be able to help me. That's the reason I'm here."

"She passed away five years ago." Erin mumbled, the sadness hinging on her voice.

"I know. She stopped visiting." The two of them sighed.

"So... why did you seek the Commissioner? Are you in trouble?"

"My parents were murdered in front of me. They didn't have any family and I didn't know what to do. I was so scared. Still am," Lizzie couldn't help the tears that started running down her face. She threw her face into her lap and curled herself into a ball. She was pretty embarrassed that within the first thirty minutes of meeting her mother she turned into a cry baby, so she was pretty surprised when she felt someone rubbing their arms up and down her back.

"It's okay... you're okay now. I got you."

Was she really going to take this comfort from a total stranger? Okay, it was her mother, but...

"What am I going to do? He's the reason I'm all alone again."

"You're not alone. You're going to stay with me and I'm going to protect you from him. And if I can't protect you, then your Grandpa, Uncle Danny, and Uncle Jamie will. They're all cops."

Screw appearances. She leaned into Erin and let her wrap her arms around her. They were thin, but still strong enough to protect her from the outside world. Her parents were gone, but her mother was there. And she had a family, uncles, a sister, grandpa...

Danny walked back in with a coffee tray. He smiled at Erin, who continued comforting her daughter. "I hate to ruin this moment, but Dad is going to wonder what I did with her."

"Thank you," Erin mouthed. "Come on, let's go. Maybe Danny should tell him, he might faint if I do it. My grandpa as well." Erin stood up, and as she did Lizzie stood up with her, not releasing from her strong grip around Erin. Erin shrugged and tried to move over to get her jacket and purse, but Lizzie still wouldn't release. Danny walked over, grabbing Erin's jacket and purse, handed them to her, and walked out the door.

"Where's Nicky?" Danny questioned on their way to the car.

"With friends. Should be available for dinner though." Erin sighed. How was she going to explain this to her daughter?

"Honey, you have to let go." Erin tried when they got to Danny's car. Erin wanted to sit in the front with Danny so she could read Lizzie's file to make sure there wasn't anything wrong, but Lizzie wouldn't release. Erin didn't mind the fact that she was a tad clingy, it was because of the fact that her whole world had been taken away from her. She just needed her to let go.

"Come on." Danny coaxed, trying to pull Lizzie off of Erin. Lizzie eventually gave up and sat in the back seat. Erin felt bad, but still sat in the front anyway. She wanted to look at the files without her daughter peering over her shoulder, because there were probably pictures of her parents in there. And there was no reason to traumatize the girl any further.

The ride to the Commissioner's office was quiet. Danny and Erin talked about Danny and Linda's plans for taking the boys to a baseball game, and Lizzie spaced out. She knew that she was eighteen and a legal adult, but she couldn't understand why she felt so safe in her mother's arms. It was the strangest thing, she hadn't hugged her parents in years (and was now regretting that) and when she did, she never felt that way. Erin clearly didn't feel the same way back. She didn't even care that she had another daughter besides Nicky. She was just extra baggage. Why would she have given her away?

She would just have to stay with them for a night, and then leave. No point in getting attached to people and things that didn't stay. It wouldn't be the first time someone she loved left her, by choice. Her parents weren't given that choice.

"How about you go talk to Dad, and me and Lizzie will stay here?" Erin tried. This was so unlike her, she generally wanted to face things head on, but she was scared. Her father wouldn't be mad about Lizzie, he would be mad that she never had the guts to tell him what happened.

"If that's what you want.." Danny said, then slammed the door.

"Detective Reagan, sir." Baker opened the door, then slammed it behind Danny. Frank pulled his glasses off, folding them and putting them down.

"Well, son, what have you found? Is Lizzie taken care of?" Frank asked, closing the lid on his laptop, and pulling his glasses off his face before stopping to rub his temples.

"About that, Erin's with Lizzie in the car because..." Danny stopped, he actually didn't know how to tell his father the truth. He was already so stressed because of that idiot mayor, not to mention all of the usual drama his father dealt with in the office.

"Lizzie is Erin's daughter." He said quickly.

"What?" Frank questioned, pretty sure he had misheard what his son had just said.

"Dad, she's Erin's daughter. And Erin is terrified. She just won't say it. There's clearly something else going on, but I don't know what yet." Frank sat back in his chair. He was NOT expecting that.

"She didn't want to tell me herself?" He asked, the hurt evident in his voice. He dropped his eyebrows, pursing his lips.

"No. She's scared, for more reasons than one." Danny said, running a hand through his hair. His kid sister had clearly gotten herself into some deep trouble. And it was all getting thrown in her face within the blink of an eye. She had been hiding this for eighteen years...

"Is she coming over for dinner tonight? I need to talk to her." Frank asked.

"Yeah. I know it's not Sunday, but I think we should have dinner. Lizzie has already met almost everybody, she just hasn't met Pops or any of the kids. No point in denying her as a member of the family, right?"

Frank nodded, at a loss of words.

"I'll call everybody and get food. I'll see you later Dad. I'm really sorry about all of this..." Danny mumbled quickly, walking out the door as fast as he could to avoid any future turbulence. His father looked concerned, confused...

But above all he looked sad.

Frank sighed. He knew something was going to happen today. But never in a million years had he expected that it would be gaining another granddaughter, at least not from Erin. He turned to look at the picture of Mary on the shelf. She knew and he didn't. That's what hurt. But he was glad because she was the reason Lizzie was back with them.

"I told him," Danny said when he got to the car.

"And? How did he take it?" Erin put down her phone, she had just talked to Nicky about going to get her from her friend's house, she wasn't really sure what she was going to say when her daughter got into the car and found her long lost sister sitting in the back seat.

"Not well. But what did you expect?" Danny turned the key in the ignition. He almost felt normal about this whole situation, just driving with his sister and niece.

"It's Dad. He's almost always a rock. I feel awful about this because I made him feel awful about this."

"The whole family is coming over for dinner. Might as well get it over with, right? And I'm sure Dad will forgive you, you clearly had a reason for doing what you did, right? So don't worry." Danny declared.

"Great." Erin grumbled. Lizzie was still sitting in the back, staring at the skyscrapers that lined the streets. This city still amazed her no matter how long she was there. She loved it to the moon and back.

"I told him I would go get dinner." Danny argued. Yes, they were back to normal.

"But I need to go pick up Nicky!" Erin yelled back.

Lizzie continued tuning them out. She felt so out of place. How was she supposed to sit through a whole dinner of a whole family staring at her and poking at her like she was an animal in the zoo. She closed her eyes and tried to get rid of the headache that was starting to form. She didn't feel great.

Some time later, someone joined her in the backseat. She didn't move or bother to open her eyes. Her head hurt.

"Hi Mom, Uncle Danny... Who is this?"

Danny and Erin shared eye contact before Erin answered, "Your sister."

Nicky's mouth dropped in shock and she sat back against the seat, not saying another word. She looked just like her, almost. She always wanted a sister. Except maybe not out of the blue, and older than her, after she was born.

"I'll explain everything later Nicky, I promise." Erin said, without moving her gaze from the right side mirror, watching Lizzie. She felt awful. Not just that she had given her daughter up, but the fact that she had pushed her away. What kind of mother was she? She should've been making the effort to ask her daughter how she felt about this whole situation, or at least held her hand from the front seat.

Danny left the three of them in the car and ran into the store to get a roast. The three of them sat in silence again. Erin, desperate for sound to fill the air, asked Nicky about her day. Nicky said it was fine and that she aced her geometry test in a monotone voice, without removing her gaze from Lizzie, who was now breathing slow enough that they could both assume she was asleep.

"Why didn't you tell me Mom?" Nicky asked.

"No one knew. Not even Grandpa or Uncle Danny."

"Why did you give her up?"

"I told you we would talk about it later!" Erin hissed. "I feel awful right now about this whole thing. And the three of us will talk about this after dinner when we get home. Right now we have to worry about getting through dinner."

"Mom..."

"Yes..."

"Who is her father? It's not Dad right?" Nicky questioned, even though they were going through a divorce. Erin knew Nicky still held out hope for their marriage. She was losing a parent. Lizzie had already lost both of the ones who raised her.

"No. It's not. Please stop asking questions." Erin demanded gently, and went back to gazing out the window.

Frank sat at his desk, still shocked over the situation. His daughter never once had the courage to tell him that he had another granddaughter. He knew that she knew that the family would have been able to protect her. Erin had abandoned her own offspring to strangers so that she wouldn't have to deal with the problem. That was not the Reagan way of dealing with things. He couldn't help the tears. He hadn't cried since Joe died. He should be happy, right? This was a gain, not a loss...

"Sir," he looked up to see Baker at the door. He nodded and she came towards the desk. "These are all of the files that Danny pulled when he was looking into the case, but there was one encrypted file that only you can open." Baker motioned to his computer and pulled up the file before leaving him to look at this 'top secret' file.

Frank clicked in his password before gazing at the file pulled up in front of him. He squinted to read the font. It was a case report of sorts, written in pink pen? It was handwritten, scribbled in cursive, later scanned into the computer... this was different.

 _Dearest_ _Francis,_

 _If you're reading this it probably means I've passed away because otherwise I would have told you. We have another granddaughter. She goes by Lizzie but Erin wanted to name her Francine Marie after the two of us. At least we know we did out children right. She is like you and I in so many ways. She is adventurous, fearless, headstrong, confident. But she is so much of Erin, they have the same laugh and eyes and I think it's like seeing Erin grow up again. Please don't be mad at Erin though. She wanted to do what was right for Lizzie which was to protect her. If you're reading this something must have happened, and you and the rest of our family must come together to help through this. She is a Reagan whether she likes it or not._

Frank didn't even realize the tears that were falling freely down his face until Baker opened his door to check up on him.

"Sir, are you alright?" Baker asked, the concern hinging on her voice.

"Baker." He said, clearing his throat. "I'm fine."

Baker remained unconvinced, knowing she should trust her boss, but seeing him sad always made her feel awful, he was such a sweet man and he was always kind to her. He was the reason she had this job- right next to the Police Commissioner of New York City.

Baker would just have to ask Erin or Danny about it next time she came in. Not because she was noisy, but because she cared.

Danny soon ran back to the car where Erin, Nicky, and Lizzie were chilling, throwing three grocery bags in the trunk before driving the three of them over to Frank's house. Erin's heart pounded hard. As a lawyer, not much intimidated her, but she was terrified. Her heart had been beating in her chest for the past hour with no thought of stopping.

Lizzie, having dozed in and out of being awake, listened to the sound of her mother and uncle talking about dinner. Just how many Reagans would be at this dinner? She had already met five of them, how many more could there be?It was probably an audition to be in their family. They would all watch how she ate, breathed, sat, dressed, acted, spoke, and then judge her on it later. That's how the old family worked.

There were very few things Lizzie could nail better than she nailed her auditions.

Whether they liked it or not, there was a new Reagan in town.

Nobody was going to rain on her parade! (oh yes, that Barbra Streisand reference was so intended...)


	5. Chapter 5

The three of them got out of the car, noticing that Lizzie was still asleep, Erin opted to attempt to pull her out of the car without waking her, and it failed. Lizzie grumbled and pushed Erin off. Not caring about her manners, she threw herself down on the couch. Her head still hurt.

Henry looked up from his book and furrowed his eyebrows at Lizzie. Erin motioned to the kitchen and Danny, Henry, and Erin all headed in. Nicky stayed in the living room and began her homework.

"Who is that girl?" Henry questioned. He leaned against the counter, glaring at his granddaughter and grandson. Danny had his arm around Erin for support.

"She's my daughter." Erin declared. "I promise I'll explain to everybody when they get here."

"You're telling me you've had another daughter for god knows how long and you never told me! Did your father know?" Her grandfather started, ready to explode on her.

"No! He didn't! No one knew except Mom!" Erin felt her stomach drop. Every time she thought of her mom she felt sad. Her mother told her she would see her daughter again, and she was right. Her mother was always right. She wished she could always be right too, for the sake of both her daughters.

"Erin, this family has never had dirty secrets that other families gossiped about! Now look at us! You got yourself knocked up and tried to get rid of the evidence! Now this is going to make us look awful! All because you couldn't keep your-"

"Pops stop right now! None of this is Erin's fault!" Danny started. Their grandfather looked at him as if he had done something as well. "The only choice Er made was to give her away. And while that might not have been the right thing to do.." Erin turned to glare at him. "I fully respect everything she did."

"Full respect my ass!" Their grandfather retorted. "What you did was unjust and quite frankly you acted like a-"

"What's going on in here?" Frank opened the back door. He looked stressed but his eyes were red and puffy... from crying. Erin gulped. She was hurting her family. Her father was hurt. Her grandfather was upset, her brothers were pretending to be fine, but they were probably mad she had never told them. The bond between her and her siblings was the thing that kept her going... and she could feel a slight drift. Most importantly, she had hurt both of her daughters...

"Erin slept with somebody, that's what!" Her grandfather retorted.

"Pop, I'm sure Erin has a reasonable explanation for what happened and what she did. We are going to calmly eat dinner like we always do, and not fight at the dinner table, or before hand. Understand?" Erin meekly nodded and her grandfather just stomped off into the other room.

Erin looked over at Frank, now sitting at the counter with a cup of coffee that he was spinning between his hands. He saw her looking at him and sighed, pursing his lips like he did when he didn't know what else to do. No matter what he always defended her, even when she had done wrong. That's probably what she loved most about him.

"What's our mom like?" Lizzie asked out of the blue. Nicky had been sitting on the armchair across from her, working on a paper, or at least trying to. She thought her sister was asleep. Apparently not.

"You've met her..." Nicky responded, not sure what to say.

"Yeah, but that was her 'I just got my daughter back after 18 years' act. That's not really her. She's not much of a hugger is she?"

"Nah. She's kind of cold and strict. But she's my- our mom so I love her, you know? And she has her soft moments..."

"This is going to sound really dumb, but I used to dream of getting to hug my mom. It just never felt right with either my adoptive parents. They were great, but they just didn't have..." Lizzie motioned in the and option, not sure of the word.

"You feel more safe with your birth parents. It's scientifically proven." Nicky said, continuing to press keys on her laptop.

"Yeah, but she felt so awkward, like she didn't know what she was doing..." Lizzie reasoned, more to herself then to Nicky, who was scribbling on a piece of paper. She was tempted to mention that her birth father was probably the reason both of her parents were dead, so she would never ever feel safe with her birth father, but decided not to spoil the mood.

"She's not much of an affectionate person. I think it goes with the job. The whole family is kind of cold at times, I don't think they realize they do it. I guess after a long time of seeing dead bodies and evil, they kind of become absorbed into the mood."

Lizzie felt weird. She used to dream about finding her people because no matter how hard she tried she always felt like she was on a different wavelength than her parents. She thought her mom and her would run into each other's arms and Erin would tell her they had been expecting her, but it was nothing like that. And it never would be. Because no matter how hard Erin tried, she couldn't fix what she did eighteen years before that.

"We're here!" Linda screamed from the front door. The door slammed and the sound of running feet hit the floor until two boys were standing in front of Lizzie staring at her. She felt her face get hot, she wasn't a fan of all of the hot attention.

"Who is she?" One of them asked.

"My older sister Lizzie." Nicky answered.

"How come we never get to know these things?" The other whined.

"Boys, run along."

"Dinner is ready!" Her mother screamed from the kitchen. She watched as everyone shot up and shuffled into the dining room. Nicky pulled her over to the table and sat her down before grabbing another chair to sit down next to her. When Linda came around the table Lizzie grabbed her arm and yanked her down in the seat bet to her. The seat was probably originally for Erin, but Lizzie would not sit next to her. She recognized every one at the table except the old guy on the end that seemed to be glaring at her, and the two boys who had pointed her out earlier. She assumed they were Danny and Linda's kids.

Linda shot a look at Danny across the table, they clearly sat together every other week, as did Nicky and Erin. The look on Erin's face was sad, but Lizzie wouldn't back down now.

"I think Lizzie should say grace this week, because she has been reunited with us after eighteen years thanks to God." Frank suggested, although it seemed more like an order. He didn't say that with much emotion, he seemed tenser then he did when she met him the first time.

Lizzie debated whether or not to tell them that she never prayed at dinner, and that her parents only went to church ON Easter and Christmas, but she did remember the prayer her grandmother had taught her. She didn't really know if she believed that there was a god, because why would a god let a girl be taken away from her mother just to be sent back to them eighteen years later? These thoughts would not go away! So what her mother dumped her...! Who cares!

Lizzie gulped.

The whole family held hands, Lizzie holding on to Linda and Nicky. "Bless us, O Lord, and these, Thy gifts, which we are about to receive from Thy bounty. Through Christ, our Lord. Amen." The whole family did the sign, and dinner began. Plates were passed around, Uncle Danny was shoving food up his face, and Lizzie almost felt free of the hot seat.

"So Lizzie, tell the family about yourself." Frank suggested.

"Well, I love singing and musicals, and I originally wanted to become a lawyer, but then I met you guys and realized I don't want to be a cop or a lawyer."

"What's your favorite musical?" Linda asked.

"Phantom of the Opera... it was my parents favorite show. They took me to see it in Chicago. I fell in love with it."

"Danny has never ever taken me to see that. I've been asking for the past 14 years and he won't budge. He says seeing people get murdered in reality wears out the fun of seeing it on stage."

"I would love to go with you! I can get tickets for next week." Lizzie didn't not notice the look on Erin's face when she asked Linda instead of her.

"So what is the plan for Miss Lizzie here?" Linda asked, seeing the look on Erin's face.

"I think I should stay with Aunt Linda and Uncle Danny for a while. Just until they catch the bad guy, you know, since he's a cop. Unlike my parent the lawyer."

"Uh Lizzie, you're staying with me.." Erin growled.

Frank, not wanting a fight to escalate between the mother and daughter already, changed the subject. "What exactly happened eighteen years ago?" Frank said. Erin tensed up immediately, but Frank held out his hand to her. She squeezed it.

"I had just graduated for high school and was at college, when I met this guy, Ian. And he wouldn't leave me alone. I keep trying to get him to stay away from me but he just wouldn't leave. I didn't want to ask dad or Danny for help, so I told mom just so I had someone to talk to. She was furious, went and got me a restraining order, but that didn't fly well with him. He raped me and I got pregnant. He disappeared for a while but Mom didn't want to take any chances so she flew me out to the middle of nowhere for the rest of my pregnancy and when I had Lizzie, she made sure the family she gave her to was qualified. And when he came back for me and her, I told him she died and he started again. But Danny caught him that time. Little did he know it it wasn't the first time." Erin was silently sobbing now, still holding Frank's hand.

"What does rape mean?" One of the boys asked. The group was clearly used to the boys asking questions so they all silenced.

"Rape is when a man hurts a woman... without her permission..." Linda started.

"How does he hurt her?" The boy tried. The adults at the table all furrowed their eyebrows.

"Wait, so why didn't you come get me when he was arrested?" Lizzie asked, changing the subject on purpose. It was making her tense, realizing she was alive because a man had done god knows what to her mother.

"I didn't want to risk him finding you. And I had no idea where you were, my mom obviously knew, she came to visit you, but I never knew... for your safety and protection I never knew. Besides by this point you were already three or four years old, I wasn't going to take you away from your parents."

"You're my parent too you know. And your plan to keep me safe failed. My parents are dead and I'm next on the list." The boys' eyes widened and Linda turned to glare at Danny, who happily continued to eat.

"No you're not. You have the whole Reagan family and the 35,000 men and women on the NYPD that have got your back." Frank said for what seemed like the thousandth time. he really did love his NYPD didn't he?

Lizzie nodded. After going to all of this trouble, she wasn't exactly sure what she had originally wanted to achieve out of this. This family was obviously very close knit and for someone who never belonged, Lizzie didn't think she could find it in her heart to stay. At least now she knew she did have family somewhere, even if they didn't really want her, at least her mother didn't.

She needed to get back to Chicago. Her life was there, not in the city that never sleeps, as much as she loved it there. She needed to bury her parents like they would have wanted, sell the house, and finish high school. She had run off like a little kid. Big deal that someone wanted to murder her or whatever. Maybe she should just finish them off. She did have blue blood, after all.

After that, the conversation went back to polite chit chat about family plans to go see a baseball game, and apparently Lizzie was invited, despite never having been a Jets fan. After dinner, the whole family retreated into the living room, except for Erin, Danny and Frank, who headed into the kitchen. When would she make her move? She needed a gun. There had to be guns around here somewhere, there were three cops in the family. Maybe she could just sneak upstairs...

Lizzie ended up wandering around the house, not really looking for anything in particular. She could at least enjoy looking at the pictures of her family, none of which she was in. Her grandpa stood next to her grandma, who had her hands on Erin's shoulders, who was holding a baby Nicky. Her Uncle Danny had his arms wrapped around a man who she didn't recognize on one side, and Linda on the other. a very young Jamie sat in the middle, his smile wide. Lizzie couldn't help the tears that started coming down her cheek. How could she learned to love a group of people so fast that she had only met today? The way her Uncle Danny look at Aunt Linda and her kids and the way the Commissioner look at all of children... It was a sense of pride and proudness and love that Lizzie admired. She only wished they would look at her the same way. But she was not in the pictures, and she never would be.

"I thought I'd find you up here. I used to come hide up here when I felt sad or mad when I was a kid. That was my room," her mother motioned to one of the rooms on the left. "Being the only girl had its perks. I didn't have to share a room. One time my parents tried to put Danny and I in the same room and we ended up moving a couple months later because we needed more rooms so we wouldn't have to share." She laughed nervously. "I know this has been hard on you. All of it has. I know I'm not the best person to come to, but please talk to me."

"I don't know what to say. This Reagan clan is really close knit. I used to kill for a family like this."

"What was your family like?" Erin asked, motioning to her room. We both walked in and I plopped down on her office chair, while Erin sat on her bed.

"They weren't bad... They just weren't very close knit. My parents would try to get out of going to family dinners because my dad always felt inferior to his brother because he was their mother's favorite. No matter what he did, he was always wrong. My uncle's kids thought they were higher ups as well. I was just never one of the favorites."

"Well, you're one of my favorites." Erin said, forming a smile. "And I know you're upset about not having a picture here, so I came prepared." Erin handed her the envelope that sat in her desk drawer as long as she had had that office, and in her bedside table drawer before that. Lizzie pulled over the flap and pulled out the stack of pictures. She felt the knot in her stomach form and tears lingering in her eyes.

"Your parents sent me pictures. I used to think it made the whole situation worse because it made me regret my decisions." Lizzie flipped through pictures of when she was a kid, through all of her show choir tournaments, until she found a picture of her mother holding a baby in a hospital bed.

"Is that Nicky?" Lizzie asked, not wanting to know the answer.

"No. It's you. My mother took it before she took you away from me. I loved you then, I love you now, and all of the time in between- you do realize that right?"

"Yeah, I guess."

"My favorite was always this one-" Erin took the envelope and fished around until she pulled one out and handed it to me.

Looking at it, I see she picked a picture that was taken when I was five. I can actually remember that day. It was my first dance recital and I was nervous that is would mess up because they gave me the solo. I ended up nailing the solo and the picture was the result, me smiling so widely my teeth might be fallen out.

"Can I keep this?" Lizzie motioned to the picture of her and her mother. Erin nodded. Lizzie picked up her mother's favorite picture and put it up next to the family photo.

"I'm sure Dad and Grandpa will go for getting new pictures done."

"But then he won't be in it." Lizzie said, motioning to Joe. "Will he?"

"He knew about you. He found out when he saw the pictures. He was mad I never told him about you."

"I'm sorry Erin." Erin looked offended that Lizzie didn't call her Mom. She realized that it would take time and trust. Lizzie deserved to be able to get those things on her own schedule, when she did realize that Erin was sorry for everything that happened and would make it up to her.

She would make it up to her, even if it was the last thing she would do.


	6. Chapter 6

After the two of them came back down the stairs, Lizzie ran off to find her cousins, not really in the mood for more confrontation with Erin. It was making her kind of sick.

"Jack, Sean, Lizzie, it's time to leave!" Danny shouted later, when Lizzie, Jack, Sean, Pops, and Nicky were all in the middle of an intense game of Monopoly. Pops seemed to have forgotten all aspects of his distress over Lizzie. The three of them rose up from the table and walked over to where Danny and Erin were standing, back to being ready to murder each other.

"...But she's MY daughter..." Erin growled.

"Don't you think she would be better off with me, just for tonight? That why if he really followed her around, we would be able to know. If he tried to attack her, she would be safe and we could get rid of this guy once and for all. Besides, she said she wanted to stay with me and Linda." Danny tried, not really in the mood for a fight with his sister. Lizzie plopped down next to Jamie on the couch, sensing they would not be leaving for a while.

"There will be plenty of opportunities for you to take Lizzie home. Just not the day I get her back." Erin said, beginning to raise her voice. Lizzie jumped at this, and looked at Jamie, sitting next to her. He shrugged.

"Do you really want Jamie and me camping in your apartment?" Danny growled. Her Uncle Danny was protective of her- and she thought it was cute. She also thought it was cute how her mother and Danny fought so much, but loved each other and hugged at the end of the day. Just not today. Maybe tomorrow.

Erin frowned and crossed her arms. This was her daughter that she just got back after eighteen years, and it hadn't even been 24 hours before she was taken away, AGAIN. "I still don't understand why she can't come home with JUST me and Nicky..."

"Both of you stop it." Frank growled, deciding to bud into the feud between the two siblings. "I think she should just stay here for the time being. Baker is coming by in the morning to put in some more protection. She will be safest here."

"I'll stay too." Jamie said, getting up from his spot on the couch. "I work the later shift tomorrow." He said, smiling at Lizzie. "We can watch the Avengers." He said, smiling.

"Is that what you want?" Erin interrogated Lizzie and her face turned red.

"I'll be fine here. Don't worry about me." She said.

That is how Jamie ended up in the armchair in the living room, while Lizzie laid awake, lying on the couch nearby. Jamie's quiet snores bit at the emptiness in the air. The two of them had sat down to watch the Avengers, Jamie had fallen asleep and without him to explain what was going on, she was lost. Watching the different characters fly around the screen was her only source of entertainment.

A gunshot rang out, waking Jamie from his slumber. He jumped up and ran out out the front door ready to attack. Pretty soon the Commissioner and Pops came running down the stairs and dragged me from where I stood frozen watching the door. They forced me into the bathroom and screamed at me to lock the door. I did what they said and slumped down onto the floor against the wall. When I heard screams and more gunshots, I felt my stomach clump into a knot and it got hard to breathe. What if her uncle had gotten himself killed for her? She would never forgive herself.

After what seemed like hours, she heard footsteps coming towards her, and she shrank into herself. Maybe they were all dead and this creep was really coming after her. "Lizzie you can come out now." The Commissioner said from the other side of the door. She shakily walked over and unlocked it, and threw herself at him. He wrapped his arms around her and slightly rocked her.

"Is Jamie okay? Please tell me he's okay."

"Jamie is fine. The gunfire had nothing to do with us. One of our neighbors though was not so lucky. Jamie was able to catch the perp though. Danny and his partner will take care of it."

"Okay." Lizzie said, still tightly clung to the Commissioner.

"Lizzie! Are you okay?" Jamie's voice broke out from across the room. Lizzie looked up and saw him standing there, a gash slashed against his forehead.

"You're hurt." Lizzie said, walking over to him.

"I'm fine. Sorry I scared you. Danny is out there with the perp." Jamie said, more so aimed at the Commissioner than at her. Lizzie wrapped her arms around her uncle, so happy that he was still standing there in front of her.

"I don't think I can sleep now." Frank said, going to make himself a cup of coffee.

Pops, who had previously been standing in the corner, moved to follow him.

"Are you okay? You didn't answer me and changed the subject." Jamie said, sitting down on the couch. He patted the space next to him and Lizzie plopped down.

"That was really scary. I put you guys in danger by being here."

"No you didn't. That had absolutely nothing to do with you."

"But what if that was my father? He would kill all of you to get to me, just like he did with my parents."

"We would do anything to keep you safe. You understand that, no?"

"Even if means killing yourselves?" Lizzie said, raising her voice without intent. The Commissioner and Pops walked into the room, the questioning look on their faces concerned. Lizzie took a deep breath and slumped into the couch.

"No one here is going to die. I promise." Jamie said, rubbing his arm up and down Lizzie's shaking shoulders.

"What about Joe?" Lizzie raised her eyebrows, knowing she had struck a chord, not really to hurt him, but to make a point.

Jamie's face turned solemn. "Joe's death... Never mind. Joe's death had nothing to do with you."

"You don't know that."

"Yes I do. Stop talking about this."

Lizzie took a deep breath. "Erin is going to freak out and come rushing over here when she hears about this."

Jamie smiled. "That is why we won't tell her until tomorrow morning."

The next morning, the Commissioner, Pops, Jamie, and Lizzie all were in the kitchen having breakfast together. Pops had made pancakes, and they were probably the best pancakes Lizzie had ever had. They were all talking about some cop injustice thing, and I was trying to follow what they were talking about, but honestly, it's not like I was going to become a cop.

"Back in my day, we could have never gotten away with stuff like this."

"But that's the point Pops. It's not your day anymore." The Commissioner responded.

"What do you think Lizzie?" The Commissioner ripped her away from her thoughts about convincing her Aunt Linda to take her to see a Broadway show before she left New York.

"I'm sorry?" She asked.

"Nicky generally likes to speak her mind about these things..."

"Well, I don't really know. I never paid much attention to what was going on with the cops. I grew up in a small Chicago suburb, not much happened."

The kitchen door opened revealing Erin. She looked exhausted, like she hadn't gotten any sleep the night before. The four people in the kitchen exchanged glances. She looked pissed.

"What happened?" Erin growled at Jamie. Jamie shrugged, but Erin's scowl made him rethink that decision.

"We heard gunshots, and I went to go check it out. The Manleys, across the street? Someone shot them. But I caught the guy. Danny took him down to the precinct around three this morning."

"So nothing happened?" Erin's shoulders dropped as she sat down at the counter and rubbed her temples.

"Wait, how did you find out about this?" Jamie asked.

"Danny called me, and then told me not to worry."

"That was a bad move on his part. We didn't want to worry you, so we decided we would tell you when you got here."

"Well clearly Danny missed that memo."

"Hey I'm here!" Danny's voice joined the mix.

"Why did you tell her about the problems this morning? We weren't going to tell her until she got here so she wouldn't worry and not get any sleep."

"I wasn't going to leave her out in the dust! This is her daughter we are talking about here!"

"Alright! Enough!" The Commissioner said. It soon got quiet and Lizzie could feel everyone's eyes turn in on her.

"How are you?" Erin asked.

"I'm okay." She answered automatically. Even if she wasn't okay, she still would say she was. It was a teenager thing. Nicky clearly didn't use it, because they left her alone.

"Here is the file you asked for." Erin handed the folder she had been holding to Danny. Danny scowled.

"C'mon Lizzie, let's go."

"Where?" Both Lizzie and Erin chimed.

"The precinct. I need to hear your account of the murder, and you get to meet Jackie and hang with your cool uncle. If it's okay with Erin."

"That's fine." Erin said without looking up.

Lizzie rose up to follow Danny for the second time in two days. It was kind of daunting walking behind a cop wearing a suit and tie and a gun in his holster. It honestly scared her knowing that her uncle had shot people to death and never looked back. She would never be able to do that.

Also, she feared ever getting in trouble with her uncle, because he was just all around scary.

"So, wanna stop and get a coffee?" Danny asked, when they were on the road and driving.

"I hate coffee." Lizzie declared, twitching her eye in protest.

"Hot chocolate? One of those drinks with the whip cream and crap on top? You wanna a shake? Hamburger? Hot dog?"

"It's nine in the morning, for one, and two, why are you trying to make me fat?"

"I was just trying to be nice."

"So tell me about my mom. Nicky just sees her as the cold overbearing parent, but what was she like before? Was she that one teenager that pretended to be innocent, but was really a troublemaker?"

"She was always serious, always had a cold face to anyone that wasn't on her side. But to the people she knew, she was always a dedicated daughter and sister, when we weren't fighting. But I always knew that she had my back, like I had hers."

"And what about now? She looks awful. I feel like I'm such a burden..."

"I think she's scared. And it hurts to give up your child, so getting you back is probably bringing back all of that pain she tried to get rid of. And you are not a burden, never ever say that again."

"You sound like a social worker."

"This whole family lost people we cared about. First, your great grandmother, then your grandmother, and then your Uncle Joe. And every time we lose someone we care about, the pain gets even worse because we remember the others. But through all of this, the family gained another member. You."

"It's too bad th-" Lizzie bite her tongue when she realized she almost said her plan out loud. Through this whole experience with the Reagans, she kept forgetting where she came from and that she was going back, as soon as she could get her hands on a gun and find enough cash to get herself back to Chicago.

"What's too bad?" Danny asked, having caught that Lizzie was about to say something.

"Nothing. I was just thinking that... it's too bad that I turned down that coffee. Because I could have made you spend five dollars on a fru-fru drink." She laughed, and he looked at her in disbelief but then turned back at the road.

"So how are _you_ Erin?" Frank asked after Danny and Lizzie had left, putting emphasis on the _you_.

"Dad I'm fine. It's Lizzie I'm worried about."

"No Erin. Lizzie is adjusting, and that's a good thing. God brought her here for a reason, even if that meant killing Melissa and Chad Johnson in the process. God's plan for them must have been something else. But that's not my point. Kids bounce back. You've just had some stuff from the past shoved in your face. You were sexually assaulted. And that resulted in you getting pregnant. And there's a chance that this guy is coming after you. You have a right to be scared." Frank stated calmly.

"This is not the first time that our family has been put in danger. We all stay here in this house with your detail and then it gets cleared... like it does everytime."

"And that is probably what will happen. But we cannot let our guard down. And... I think this is a lot more personal than some tiy getting back at you for putting them behind bars. This is the man who..." Frank stopped, unable to say the words.

"Yeah, he raped me Dad. I know. And that doesn't phase me anymore. Because now I have a child who is angry because I gave her away. I don't care if he gets me. I will not let that man touch my daughter."

"Then you understand my feelings exactly. I will not let that man touch my daughter... which is why you're all going to be staying here until this guy slips up. When he does, we'll catch him." Frank declared, going into his PC mode. He looked at his daughter, his only girl, his favorite girl...

"Erin I am so proud of you. You were so strong to yourself and for Lizzie. You protected her despite what she came from. But now you don't need to be strong. Let me be strong for you."

Erin leaned into her father, letting him wrap his arm around her. She sighed, leaning into the embrace.

They would get through this. They always did.

"I'm Jackie Curatola," Her uncle's partner introduced herself when they had gone back to the precinct. She was really pretty. Maybe she get Jackie to take her to see a Broadway musical.

"Hi. I'm Lizzie... Reagan." She said, raising her eyebrows with a smile. The two shook hands, and Jackie could automatically tell that Lizzie's hands were clammy, and that she probably hadn't gotten any sleep in the last few days apart from drifting into unconsciousness. She knew that feeling.

"Another Reagan in the clan, I swear that family is like a cult." Jackie said, and started leading her to one of the interrogation rooms.

"HEY!" Danny said from across the room. This made both Jackie and Lizzie smile.

"Do you want your Uncle in here? I know he can be pretty scary and I'm a lot nicer."

"HEY!" Danny said from in the hallway, not standing in a place that Lizzie could see him. This room was gray and only had a table. Like she was a prisoner.

"Where were you the day of October 2nd?"

"It was a Tuesday. My best friend's birthday. I drove to school that morning with my parents' Toyota Camry. It was white and it was such an old car. My parents wouldn't get rid of it because they claimed it was the only car they would ever give me. Anyways, I drove it to school and it was like any other day. My friends and I took my best friend out to lunch and we bought her this little cupcake. After school, I went to musical practice. Our musical this year is Funny Girl, I'm Fanny Brice... I've already missed like a week of rehearsal. Anyways, after that I stopped at the store to pick up a pizza for dinner, and I went home. My parents were running late from work, my mom had parent teacher conferences, and my dad was doing something... I can't remember. They both came home around 7 and we ate. After that, we sat down and were watching Full House when someone rang the doorbell."

 _"If you ask me, Kimmy Gibbler was the greatest of all of the characters." Lizzie's mother argued. "Look at that battery pack and dress! She clearly had more fashion sense than all of the other Tanners!"_

 _"Look, the 90s were a difficult time. Don't act like that hairdo you had wasn't the worst thing you'd ever done."_

 _"My mother said it would make me look thinner, so I-"_

 _Their argument that was quite possibly the most random one ever was cut short when the doorbell rang. Lizzie took another bite out of her pepperoni pizza and watched her father get up to go answer the_ _door. He opened the door, and soon he fell back. Lizzie ran over to see a man standing in her doorway, holding a knife. Another knife laid in the center of her father's chest, her father stunned._

 _"Dad!" She cried, bending down to him. His face was one of shock and he wasn't moving. She didn't even notice the man move past her into the other room where her mother was until she heard a scream. And by the time she got to the room, the man's other knife had found its way into her mother's chest. Her mother laid lifeless in the middle of their living room floor._

 _Lizzie was shocked. Her parents were probably both gone, and she was still standing there, looking at the man who had probably killed her parents._

 _He had a beard, and looked as if he hadn't showered in weeks. When he smiled at her, his remaining teeth were rotting and yellow._

 _"Baby... It's Me, your dad. Don't ya remember? These people are not your parents... I did you a favor!"_

 _"Sure you did." Lizzie said, not wanting to tick him off. He stood there, walking towards her, and she did the only thing she could think of, punch him in the face._

 _"You stupid bitch!" He said, slapping her across the face and giving her one smack in the eye. She gave him one kick in the balls and was able to get back up._

 _Lizzie ran to her car. She drove as fast as she could to the end of the block before calling 911 on her cell phone._

 _"911 what is your emergency?"_

 _"My parents were stabbed and there is a man in my house now."_

 _"Are you in the house?"_

 _"No, I got out."_

 _"Well stay in a safe place and the ambulance and police will be there soon."_

"My parents were both dead on scene. The analysis said that they died instantly and didn't feel any pain. I snuck away before I could get interrogated and took a bus to New York as fast as I could because I didn't know where else to go."

"Listen to me kid, you don't know how lucky you are to be a Reagan." Jackie said, sitting across from her. "You have a family that will always back you up no matter what you do."

"You're very fond of the Reagans aren't you?" Lizzie asked.

"Danny is the best cop I know. I would do anything for him. Anything. I'd walk on nails for him."

Lizzie suddenly had an aha moment.


	7. Chapter 7

After the interrogation, Lizzie and Jackie walked back out to where Danny was standing. He looked genuinely pissed.

At the same time, Lizzie was trying to figure out how she was going to convince Jackie to give her a gun and help her get back to Chicago. She seemed nice, and she knew that Jackie would do anything to help her (or at least she hoped, because that would be going against her uncle's wishes and Jackie would help him over her any day).

"We're gonna get this guy, Jack." He held out a folder to Jackie, the same folder Erin had handed her that morning. Lizzie, annoyed she was being left out, tried to see what they were looking at.

"That's him." She said motioning to the picture in the folder. That was the reason she was alive...

...And the reason her parents were dead.

"Their DNA matches... this is Lizzie's father..." Danny whispered.

"You do realize that I can hear you right? And I know he's my father. And he seems to want to claim what is rightfully his in his mind, which is me and Erin." Lizzie stomped out of the building, staring blanking at the NYC streets in front of her until she realized she had absolutely no idea where she was going. She was just so sick of this whole mess that had become her life...

She was about to turn around and start making her way back to the precinct when a lady with red hair wearing a business suit decided to step right in front of her.

"Elizabeth Reagan? Special Agent Anderson with the FBI." The redheaded lady, this Agent Anderson, held out her badge. Lizzie didn't know how to tell if a badge was real or not, or if this person was about to kidnap her. Lizzie stepped back hesitantly.

"What can I help you with?" Lizzie asked, trying to keep her voice normal, debating whether or not to pull out her cell phone and dial 911 because that would mean Jackie and Danny and Jamie and the PC would be able to get to her... right?

"We would like to request your help with something."

"And you'll expect me to just agree to this... why?"

"Your Uncle Joe was not killed in a police shooting. He was killed by this group called the Blue Templar."

"The Blue Templar...what is the Blue Templar?"

"It was started by your great grandfather as a union type group of police officers. Once it met its purpose the original members left and the group became corrupt. Now they're involved in drug dealings, robberies...possibly terrorism... and they kill anyone who tries to expose them... including your Uncle Joe. He was working for us, trying to expose him when he got killed because they caught on."

The lady held out a tape recorder and pressed play. "I think I'm in." the player said. The man's voice seemed familiar.

"And how do I know that this is my Uncle Joe? I've never met the guy." Lizzie crossed her arms. "And what does this have to do with me? I have no training whatsoever and quite frankly I don't think I am the special agent cop type."

"We want you to finish what your Uncle started. You're a fresh mind. Help the FBI take out the Blue Templar."

"Yes... one that has no police background! I've never seen a gun in my life, and the only combat skills I have were from when I was bullied in the fifth grade." Lizzie declared, deciding she wanted these creeps to get out of her way. She was starting to feel sick. Sicker than she felt before.

"You are a Reagan. That means you have blue blood whether you like it or not. And we know you're going to help us."

"And why is that?"

"Because it will help you avenge the death of your parents... while saving your family."

"What do my parents have to do with this?"

"The man who killed them was possibly led by the Blue Templar."

"My fath- my family never said anything about _him_ being a cop. They would know and tell me if he was."

"Because your birth father was not a cop. We have evidence pointing to the conclusion that he is working with the Blue Templar only because it is you they are after. It is not because he cares about the outcome for the Templar. He was only interested in getting to you and your parents. He had his own agenda."

"What does the Blue Templar want with my parents?"

"They didn't want your parents. They wanted you. And he would've taken you, had you not gotten away. Killing your parents was just him claiming you. That had nothing to do with the original plan."

"I don't understand."

"You're a Reagan. Had you been killed, Erin would've found out and gotten vulnerable. Then take her, reel Danny and Jamie in. Then your grandfather would give himself and his position up. All the Reagans with power put out, the Templar gets what they want."

"And what would I do? I can't fight. The family is already on high alert cause they think this guy is probably coming after me."

"Well maybe that's what we do. Lure him in."

"You want to use me as bait?"

"In a way yes. But if you get trained in your combat skills... you would be able to defend yourself, if you even needed to use them. Once we get him, we take him into custody and hopefully he will give us the rest of the Blue Templar. That's all we would need from you. After that, we would leave you alone."

"How would we get him out?"

"At your parents' funeral. He would expect you to be there and show up, but he wouldn't know that we would have the CPD there to take him away."

"Now you want to use my parents death as bait? These people were real. They were the people that raised me!"

"Exactly. So wouldn't you want to make sure the person that killed them ended up behind bars?"

She had a point there.

"Here, take my card. If you get to Chicago call that number. He'll be able to teach you how to fight. And, if you haven't seen that many cop shows, you should know to say to a word of this to any of the Reagans. We don't want to get the NYPD involved."

Lizzie fumbled with the card. Agent Amy Anderson. Manhattan, NY. When she looked up, the agent was gone.

"Hey!" Jackie screamed, running towards her. Lizzie shoved the card and her hands into her pockets. "Your Uncle wanted to give you a sentimental deep talk, but I volunteered because I think he's too stressed to be logical. And I figured you wanted to be alone for a bit. Want to grab a coffee?"

"Why does everyone assume I want a coffee? I hate coffee."

"It was an excuse to go for a walk. I know I'm not your mom or aunt but you can talk to me. I'm like your cool adopted aunt... yeah that has a nice ring to it..." Jackie said, walking alongside Lizzie. Jackie really was pretty... She admired the fact that she worked alongside her uncle, who clearly had his own way to do things.

"Do you pep talk Nicky as well? Are you close with all of the Reagans?" Lizzie asked. Her original idea was to use Jackie to get back to Chicago, but now there was a complication. Should she do this undercover stuff? She just wanted to bury her parents...

"No. Pretty sure she goes to her grandfather when she has a problem. But something tells me that you won't do that because you're scared. I'm closest to Danny and your sister, and I'm generally there when they're arguing about a case or trial."

"Scared of the Commissioner?" Lizzie scoffed. "I am not scared..."

Jackie raised an eyebrow in suspicion.

"Look, I know these guys are my family by blood... but I have known them for two days! And they pity me... I see it in their eyes. They see me as the kid they gained because her parents were brutally murdered. They would've never found me if I hadn't found them first."

"They didn't know about you. Danny would've personally gotten you himself had he known you existed, regardless of what Erin wanted."

Lizzie rolled her shoulders before crossing her arms."So why are you babysitting me instead of doing your job...? I don't think you get paid extra for babysitting me because I'm a Reagan."

"Because I'm not a Reagan. I know you need someone else besides a Reagan to talk to. I would walk on nails for Danny and anyone in his family."

"So would you be willing to help me out with something?" Lizzie smiled. She debated for a moment whether or not to tell Jackie. She was not a Reagan... But in a way she was just as much a member of the family as everyone else. At least to her.

"What?" Jackie asked.

"Help me get back to Chicago. Please Jackie. I know the Reagans are afraid something is going to happen, but I'm a legal adult and I can take care of myself. I'd rather have you help me do this than me have to do it myself." Lizzie begged, literally on the verge of tears because this whole situation was stressing her out. The fact that her parents were just a piece in this murderous rage that was going to take out all of the Reagans, and the PC would give up his power just to see his kids not die.

"Lizzie... look... I know this whole thing has been hella hard on you. You lost your parents and left the place you grew up in to come to the other side of the country to live with this family you never knew existed. I know that sucks... but hear me out. I was messed up in high school. I didn't give a shit about schoolwork or what I was going to do with my life. I decided to leave home and when I came back, the locks had changed. This family will always welcome you with open arms... so I think you should just tell them what you want to do. Because they love you, they will help you get back home."

"Jackie.. I don't want them leaning over me because they think something bad is going to happen. I love them. I love them even though I've only known them for a couple days. I don't want them risking everything for me."

"What do you mean, risking everything?"

Lizzie caught herself. She en realized she could not tell Jackie, because that would out Jackie in danger as well, and she couldn't hurt another member of the family. Besides, she would probably run and tell the family, and she needed to do this herself, apart from getting help back onto a train. That was all she needed, and could ask for. "I don't want them to have to drop everything for me. That's all."

Lizzie now knew that she had to go back to Chicago on her own, lure the damn asshole who had killed her parents to get her and her whole family...

She'd be damned if she was going to let them take away her family. She had just found them, after all.

Jackie and Lizzie ended up back at the precinct twenty minutes later. Danny was nowhere to be found, but yet Linda and Nicky were sitting at Jackie and Danny's desks.

"Hello." Linda greeted, getting up to hug Lizzie. Lizzie took the embrace happily.

"Hi Aunt Linda! Nick... what's up?" Nicky leaned back in her uncle's chair, spinning a little too madly. Lizzie gave Linda a questioning look.

"We're going to dinner... and to see Phantom of The Opera tonight!" Linda smiled. Lizzie smiled back. This was so nice of them. Nicky looked happy..ish...

"Where's Uncle Danny, and my mom?"

"They're working with your grandfather... trying to find.." Linda started, looking at Jackie for help.

"Oh." She understood now. No need to say anything else on the matter.

"The three of us are going to have a whole lot of fun! The boys are with Henry, and we can go get them in the morning! We can walk through Times Square, eat in that fancy restaurant..."

"Is everything okay?" Lizzie asked bluntly. She hadn't meant to come off as rude, but all of this was too sugar coated. They were softening her up for a blow.

"We just... want you to enjoy yourself. You need to relax because you're under a lot of stress.

"Not less than usual.." Lizzie crossed her arms.

"Look, I knew this is hard on you, but we just want to have a good time, is that too much to ask?" Linda asked. "Let's have a good night."

Lizzie nodded, at a loss of words. She looked over at Jackie, who nodded back.

Their plan was a go.

"He was arrested in 1994 for sexual assault and got a 20 year sentence, thanks to the great district attorney's office. He was let out, why weren't we notified?"

Frank sat at the dining room table, Danny leaning against it, and Erin pacing. Henry had taken Jack and Sean out, saying they needed some air.

"You were anonymous for the case. You didn't want your name popping up on the case. And if you had known, the press would've made a big deal about the sexual offender of the daughter of the New York City Police Commissioner being released and you both would have been exposed for all of the wrong reasons." Frank declared.

"Why was his sentence not longer?" Erin questioned, her head starting to ache from stress.

"Because you refused to testify..."

"Look, I needed to protect this family and my daughter. I had enough things on my mind without having to worry about the world knowing that I was raped. The guy couldn't get my daughter because he thought she was dead... I thought everything would be fine even if I didn't get up and give my statement."

"Erin, he is out there. And we need to find him before he comes after you or Lizzie." Danny said, deciding to jump in because he could tell his sister was getting tense.

"Forget me, I can handle it. It's Lizzie that wouldn't be okay. She watched this guy kill her parents..."

Frank nodded. "I know. And that is why we are going to find him. Now."


	8. Chapter 8

"Woah! That was intense!" was Nicky's reaction to the first half of the Phantom of the Opera.

Lizzie laughed. "Wait until you see the second half! It's even more intense!" She chuckled.

"How many times have you seen this show?" Linda asked, the chandelier falling clearly catching her off guard. She had always wanted to see the Phantom of the Opera, she knew it was a love story, but she didn't know it was also an episode of Life with The Reagans with all of those people dying.

"I saw it once live in Chicago. But I watched the taped version so many times I could recite it in my sleep. Always remember the 25th anniversary is a hell of a lot better than the movie. Sierra and Ramin are soulmates, I swear. Rierra for the win!"

"Okay." Linda agreed, not sure what was going on. How could it be that there was a Reagan who was nothing at all like the others? There was a decedent from that family who had no interest in becoming a cop or lawyer and would rather be involved in the arts?

It made her think of how much Erin resented the fact that Nicky wanted to become a cop. She didn't want her daughter going out there and risking her life everyday. She was literally planning to have her and Linda take Nicky to as many art shows and museums as she could, so that hopefully Nicky would go into the arts instead of crime science.

Well, she only had one out of the two to worry about. Jack and Sean were a whole other story.

"My mom said the New York cast wasn't good, but this was incredible!" Lizzie squealed happily. Linda smiled, at least she had gotten her to relax a little bit. The tensity of her shoulders had dropped and she looked more cheerful. That was enough for Linda to know that this trip was worth it.

"How many musicals have you seen?" Nicky asked, impressed at her sister's choice of being such a hardcore thespian. Nicky had her eyes on following the family tradition and become a cop, despite her mother's wishes against it. She had never even _considered_ the arts. Granted, she used to be in choir, until she dropped out in the seventh grade to join the soccer team instead.

"Well, I saw Phantom with my parents, I saw American in Paris while I was in New York on a school trip, and my mom loved Beauty and the Beast, and Evita, and Carousel and the Sound of Music..."

"Woah, okay. I was never much for musicals... but I love this! Please tell me you'll take me to see more!"

"We are in the heart of Broadway!" Lizzie smiled. "Of course I'll take you!" She said, deciding to leave the part out about the possibility she might never come back to New York after the trip to Chicago that no one knew about. Except Jackie. She took a deep breath.

Life was full of shit... _and all that jazz._

"Wait, so you're saying that Ian Smith never left Chicago... and there is no way he was in New York..." Erin stared at the information laid out in front of her. Cameras showed the person of interest walking into a barber shop that morning. What was even worse was that the Chicago PD didn't seem phased about this perp walking around because they had never gotten a statement themselves from Lizzie.

"So he's just walking around the streets of Chicago and no one gives a damn that he killed two people!" Erin cried out in frustration. Danny put his hands on Erin's shoulders, giving them a squeeze.

"We've talked to the Chicago PD. They don't seem to think that it's important. There are apparently more important things to them."

"Put me on the phone with the Police Commissioner there." Frank grunted in his usual tone of voice when he meant business. "I'll make him see the importance of getting this man off the streets."

"And then?" Henry asked from his quiet corner where he was listening to the conversation without giving much input. The boys were upstairs, assumingly playing video games because that is what the Reagans put them to do when they didn't want them around.

"Then we get him put back in jail." Danny declared in the voice that meant he meant business.

"What evidence do we have? There was no evidence at the crime scene. We know he was after Lizzie. Lizzie's identifying him might not be enough."

"Then you will just have to get up there on the witness stand yourself." Danny stated. Erin looked from her brother to her father to her grandfather and sighed. He was right.

"So... how is the situation of hooking me for transport to the Windy City?" Lizzie said after dialing Jackie. The threesome had finished their musical and now Lizzie was sitting on the ground in the middle of the Reagan bathroom.

Erin left her there again, claiming that she had work in the morning and Nicky had school and it would just be easier. She had hugged her briefly, almost robotically, lingering her chin on Lizzie's hair before walking out the door with Nicky, who smiled back at Lizzie.

She looked happy at the aspect of having an older sister at this point. Oh well, they were probably going to have a dumb argument at some point, like Stephanie and DJ always did on Full House and then have a feep talk abojt life and hug it out. (That might sound cheesy, but it was Lizzie's only approach on what having a sister was like).

Jamie had planned to stay there as well, but apparently the PC had told him to go home because Jamie had the early shift the next morning and couldn't switch it out. She couldn't understand why the PC couldn't just use his authority to have Jamie change shifts, but what did Lizzie know anyways.

"Did you ask your family to take you back to Chicago?" Jackie asked. She was debating whether or not to tell Danny what his niece was planning, because she knew Danny would be overprotective, like all the Reagans were over each other.

"No, I told you, I want to do this on my own... were you not listening? Clearly you're just like all of them. You think I can't do anything for myself... because I can! I just wanted your help because you said you were not a Reagan and that I could trust you!" Lizzie screamed, throwing the phone across the bathroom. Lizzie could still hearing Jackie on the line, trying to get Lizzie to listen to her. Lizzie simply hung up.

"Is everything all right in there?" She heard her Uncle Danny call from in the kitchen.

"Yeah, everything is fine!" Lizzie said, giving the toilet a flush and letting the sink run for a minute before joining her uncle, who was scarfing down ice cream in the kitchen.

"I thought I heard screaming. Who were you talking to?"

"Are you sure that wasn't the tv in the living room you heard? There's lot of yelling in Westerns from what I've heard..." It was then that Lizzie realized the tv was not on, and the two elder detectives were already upstairs sleeping. She chuckled neevously.

"Elizabeth I am a detective. I know when someone's lying. Now tell me who you were yelling at. Was it your mom?"

"No." Lizzie let out a deep breath. "It was Nicky. I think she wanted to stay here too but Erin wouldn't let her because Erin is so heartbroken only getting to take one daughter home with her. She started yelling at me about how I was the favorite sibling and get all the attention, yada yada yada." Lizzie babbled, pretty sure her uncle wouldn't believe her.

"You haven't even been to the apartment yet... and it is your home." Danny reasoned, realizing that Erin seemed way too detached from her daughter. He would need to ask why. She looked more stressed, and she only wanted to work on the case. Yes this was personal, very personal, but Erin was tough and this was breaking her. He needed to find out why. Lizzie on the other hand, was shocked her uncle actually believed her lie about Nicky. She hoped Nick would not get busted out for it. She would just have to cover that too.

"Well I like it here better where I know I am safe from Ian Smith, and my mother is hopefully safe from him too because I am not with her and there are cops with guns in this house and my grandfather's massive detail probably making loops around the block as we speak."

"How do you know about Ian Smith?" Danny asked, surprised that Lizzie knew the name of the man that he and his father and sister were trying desperately to catch and put behind bars as soon as possible.

"I read the file. I am not stupid Uncle Danny. He's my father, the man who raped my mother, and the man who killed my parents. I deserve to know his name."

"What is that supposed to mean? Because if you are planning some weird revenge, you have to know that revenge is never the answer. It never solves anything."

"I'm not planning revenge. I just want to put that man behind bars. And after he's behind bars, I'll be able to look him in the eye and tell him to go to hell. And then I'll feel better."

Danny nodded, furrowing his eyebrows. His niece sure was acting strange, he'd give her that. He was about to pull her over to the couch so they could talk about it, when his phone rang. Seeing that Jackie was calling him at eleven at night, he assumed that they had gotten a case and that Lizzie would have to just hang out with the couch and TV for the night.

"Hey Jack-" Danny started. Lizzie started panicking, knowing that Jackie was going to tell him everything. She walked out of the kitchen into the living room, feeling her heart rate accelerate massively. She felt like she was going to pass out.

Her uncle looked at her with a weird face from through the doorway in the kitchen. She smiled at him before walking through the front door. It reminded her of a dream she used to have when she was a kid, that she was running from a bad guy and had to drive herself away, but she always ended up getting caught and dying at the end. How had her uncle suddenly become her enemy?

Because he wanted to stop her from leaving New York, burying her parents, and catching the guy.

She had no car, and no way to disappear into the dusk. She looked at Danny's car, that old green Jeep Cherokee, happily sitting against the curb in front of the house. There was no police detail around, which possibly meant that Frank thought that they were safe and had sent them home. Lucky her.

She debated her limited options, walking towards the Jeep. It was not like the keys were just happily sitting in the ignition waiting for her. She put her head against the window, leaning in to see her options. It was then she noticed that the key was in the ignition. Weird.

Lizzie slowly opened the driver's door, debating whether or not to take the dumb way out when Danny opened the front door. "HEY!" He screamed, running towards her. She swooped into the seat, locked the doors, seeing Danny bang on them. She put her foot down on the gas, leaving her blowing down the street. She had no idea what she was doing. Who knew what her uncle was going to do now? He was now her enemy in a way. She felt trapped and scared and depressed and frustrated and-

She pulled out the card Agent Anderson had given her earlier that day. "I need help. My family is onto the fact that I want to leave New York and they'll probably be trailing me. I want to do it. I want to go to Chicago and catch the guy. I just don't know how to lose them." Lizzie sped down the streets of New York, not really sure where she was going. The tears fell down her face freely. She held the phone to her ear, waiting for the woman to respond.

She truly felt alone in that moment.

"Lizzie, are you sure you want to do this?" The agent said on the other line, sounding slightly concerned. The girl was untrained, barely legal, and reeling from the loss of her parents. She was not stable enough to do this. But she could not risk the Reagans finding out about them. She now had to do it, otherwise they would have to kill her.

"I want to bury my parents and catch this guy and if that helps bring down the people that killed my uncle, then more power to you." She sobbed, tears streaming down her face. She felt so weak- how was she supposed to be strong and hard like her mother and uncles and grandfather?

"Alright, drive to my office. We can give you a new identity so that your family won't be hot on your trail. Credit cards, passports, licenses. This might seem like a lot, but trained agents do these kinds of things everyday. Just like your Uncle Joe. You are going to be absolutely fine."

"They're too smart. They'll find me. They always find me. I just want to protect them. Do this myself. I am a Reagan. I was born into a family of cops, and in the short time I've known them they have changed my life. They are amazing people and I want to make them pr-"

It was then that two cars coming from both directions of the intersection head on crashed into Lizzie's car, one impacting the front, one the driver's side.

Lizzie swerved before she shot down the brake. Glass exploded everywhere, Lizzie flopping to the back and then side, immediately knocked unconscious. A woman with red hair sat in the passenger's seat of the side impact car, which didn't render a scratch.

"Grab her. Throw her in the back."


	9. Chapter 9

"Jackie what the hell did you do?" Danny screamed when Jackie pulled up in her car to the Bay Ridge house where Danny had stood on the front porch, surprised his father had not woken up yet. He was not going to find out about this. Not if there was a chance Danny could catch his niece before she left the city.

"Danny she told me she was planning on leaving either way. It was either I helped her or she disappeared on her own." Jackie leaned back in her seat and pressed a few buttons on her phone. "I am trying to get her to text me back so I can track which tower it bounced off of and see how far she got."

"Jack..." Danny started but Jackie did not look up from her phone, still furiously tapping the screen.

"If we can get her location we can have your dad close off the area to find her." She said as if that were the most obvious thing in the world.

"Jack that's great... but Erin is going to kill me, then you, then me again. I was supposed to watch her all night and I could not even make it an hour!"

"Danny she's eighteen and a legal adult! She has the right to do what she wants without her parents bossing her around. I feel awful about this whole thing! She trusted me to help her get back to Chicago because she wanted to do it without the help of the Reagans and what did I do? Told her to go to the Reagans because I didn't think she should go alone..."

"Jackie she's my niece! She's just as much my kid as she is Erin's, whether or not she's biologically mine. And she needs to be here with her family. We are her family, not some couple she was sold off to in Chicago because my sister didn't want to deal with the problem."

"Reagan, she would've left either way. This is not your fault."

"Jack..." Danny's voice quivered. "We need to find her. Smith could already be on her trail. Slide over." Danny said, the realization that his eighteen year old niece had taken his car, that had a couple of his service weapons in the center console. "Jack she has my gun." Danny said, feeling a little more sick about the situation then he already did.

"Let's go..." Jackie slid over, letting Danny get in to drive. The two of them drove to the precinct to get a reading off of Lizzie's phone, soon finding out that she was still in the city. They were cruising down the streets when they saw a certain rookie cop walking with his partner, the Italian chewing on a donut. They seemed to be laughing, the rookie smiling his usual warm smile.

"Get in!" Danny said opening up the window. Jamie looked at his brother, shrugging before looking back at Renzulli. He shot his brother a look. "It's Lizzie." Danny rolled his eyes, if it wasn't obvious.

Jamie immediately understood, throwing himself in the back of the car. And the three of them drove off, leaving Renzulli sadly eating his donut in solitude, mumbling about that damn cult of Reagans.

"Dad, tell me the truth. Am I overworrying? That Ian is going to somehow find Lizzie and..." Erin looked down nervously. She hadn't gotten any sleep the previous night, worrying that somehow HE was going to find her. Baker had let her in the office, debating whether or not to ask if everything was alright with the Commissioner, but then decided against it.

"No. Erin. She's with Danny and Detective Curatola. I doubt either of them will let her out of their site." When Frank had gotten up that morning, Danny and Lizzie were already gone. Figuring they had went to the precinct or to get food before going, Frank figured everything was fine. He trusted his son with his granddaughter. Frank's office phone rang and Frank glared at it before picking it up off the receiver. Erin lounged back on the chair, trying to stop her hands from shaking. He worried a little about her. She looked massively pale and just a tad thinner.

Erin inched up in her seat. If Danny and Jackie were missing, then Lizzie...

"Thank you Sergeant. I will take care of it from here." Frank hung up.

"What happened? Are they okay? Where's Lizzie?" Erin jumped up, grabbing her purse before Frank grabbed her hand. He was about to calm her down when Frank's personal phone rang and he jumped a little when he saw that it was Jamie.

"Son, where are you?" His grip on Erin didn't release in the slightest.

"Lizzie fled last night. And she has a gun. Tell Erin to stay calm... we're taking care of this. Me and Danny and Jackie, we are going to find her."

"Are you sure you know what you're doing? This isn't protocol... as the police commissioner, I would warn you to..."

"She's my niece Dad. I would do anything for her even if it means giving up my badge. I gotta go."

Erin looked down at the ground. She felt the tears on her face. She was losing her daughter again. She looked at her father. The look in his face was solemn, yet sad. Erin felt helpless. That must be why she ended up in her father's arms, crying about the daughter she lost for what seemed like a thousandth time.

"Wait, so you're saying she just up and left?" Linda questioned when the remaining Reagans sat down for dinner. Erin absentmindedly pushed the food on her plate around with her fork. Linda noticed this and glared. The boys noticed the tension and excused themselves because they could tell they weren't suppose to be there.

"Yeah and Jamie, Danny and Jackie are following her because they think she might be trying to get back at the perp. She has Danny's gun."

"Isn't the perp her father?" Linda questioned to receive a glare from Erin back. "Sorry."

"I'm here!" Nicky called when the front door opened. She saw her aunt, mother, grandfather and great grandfather. She was certain some of her family members were missing from the equation.

"Where is everyone?"

"Your sister has decided to disappear. And take your Uncle Danny's gun with her."

"Is she okay?" Nicky asked, sitting down next to her mother. Her mother looked awful. Her eyes were swollen and her hands were shaking. She hadn't touched her food.

"Your Uncle Danny, Uncle Jamie and Detective Curatola followed her to make sure everything is okay."

"Are you okay Mom?" Nicky looked at her and felt scared. She hated seeing her mother upset. As much as she liked her sister, her mother was much more important to her.

"Mom can I talk to you?" Nicky gently grabbed her mother's hand and pulled her up from the table into the living room.

"What is it Nicky?" Her mother said rubbing her temples.

"Uhhh... I love you Mom." She blurted out. Her mother looked up in question.

"Lizzie asked me what you were like, and I said you were cold. But it's eating me alive that you're feeling awful about this situation and I'm not helpful in the least. It kills me to see you like this."

"Nicky... I'm fine. I'm worried about Lizzie... that's all." Nicky suspected there was more to that story that was not being said out loud but she let it slide.

"I know that she's your daughter and you lost her and got her back and all this... but you've known her for two days... this is not good for your health!"

"Nicky sit down." Her mother pulled her down next to her and put an arm around her. "I'm fine. I just don't want to see my daughter get hurt. I would be doing the exact same thing if it were you. And this doesn't mean I care about you any less ever. Do you understand that? You're the greatest thing that ever happened to me. You and Lizzie. But I was lucky enough to watch you grow, and I missed that opportunity with Lizzie. I don't want her to screw up or get hurt because of my mistakes."

"I know, and I get that. I just don't want you to get sick. I really do love you Mom."

"I love you too Nick." Erin let Nicky readjust, putting her head on Erin's stomach. Erin automatically started running her hands through Nicky's hair. But it was Erin that fell asleep first, with Nicky's arms wrapped around her.

"We were able to get a bouncer off her cell phone. It tapped into this cell tower."Jackie pointed up once they had parked and gotten out of the car. She didn't know how she felt about having to look for Erin's daughter with two of her brothers. She was a toughie, yet she feared for herself in more ways than one.

"So... how do we pinpoint the location?"

"Wait a minute..." Jackie started. Both Jamie and Danny turned around to look at her. "The signal hasn't moved. When we checked it three hours ago, it was in the exact same spot."

"Which means she isn't moving, or it's a trap." Jamie realized and ran down the street. The partners looked at each other, confused at what was going on, and jumped in their car before following him, making his way down the street.

"Oh that brother of yours..."

"I don't know what he is thinking." Danny responded, not at all knowing what his baby brother was thinking. Since he was older, he usually could gauge where he was coming from. And he had absolutely no clue at that point.

"Why is he running into an alley?" Jackie questioned as Danny turned the car into the alley. Suddenly Danny understood what his brother was thinking. And then so did Jackie. They drove down the alley, still behind Jamie's running form, until he suddenly stopped and turned around before pointing at something. Danny slammed on the brakes and the two of them jumped out to see what he was looking at.

"Oh my god," Jackie put her hand on her mouth. Danny looked at his beautiful Jeep, now sitting with a side impact on the driver's side, and shattered glass on all sides. Opening the door he saw that Lizzie's phone sat on the passenger's seat and that his guns were exactly where he left them.

"Guys..." Danny started, trying to swallow the lump in his throat. "She was abducted."

Lizzie woke up.

Well, at least she wasn't dead, right?

Her head hurt a little, and there were several bandages across her body, presumably where the airbags had hit her. Her left leg felt a little weird and was badly bruised, but other than that she was fine.

Agent Anderson stood in front of the bed where she laid. She was actually really confused. Was she with the good guys or the bad guys? She wasn't tied down, so technically she wasn't a prisoner. Maybe they were going to torture her for information like in the movies! She wasn't really sure what kind of information she could give. The only thing she could possibly have information on was the Reagans. On the other hand, she watched as someone handed her a chocolate milkshake.

She was really confused.

"Lizzie, we need to explain this to you. You were in a car crash. Yes, that car crash was inflicted by me and my team. But you said you wanted to do this, go undercover and catch this guy. So, we needed to throw the Reagans off your trail."

"What exactly did you do?" Lizzie questioned, still confused about the whole thing.

"Made it look like you were abducted."

" Won't they be able to track you down?" Lizzie asked, feeling dumb that she didn't really know what this process entailed.

"This is the FBI you are working with, honey. These people made the tracking-down system! They know how to beat out some New York cops! There is not a single trace of us touching that car or calling you on that phone. It simply looked like someone took you from your car.

"So in theory you're saying that they're going to obsess over trying to find me and my abductor, when there really is no clues or anything to go off of. What about city cameras? Haven't you ever watched Person of Interest? How do you know that they will ever stop obsessing if they think there is a possibly that I am still alive?"

"Cameras blocked off." She said as if it were obvious. "And another thing, is that if you really want to shake them off your trail, we cut off any possibility that you are still alive."

"And how is that?"

"Give them a body."

"And all that grief?" Lizzie mumbled, hoping the agent wouldn't hear her. Now she had the thin, pale face of her mother in her mind, holding the hand of her crying daughter on one side and her father on the other side. This would be their third loss.

Jamie said that her coming out of nowhere was like cancelling out of those losses, and now they were back to three. What about Jackie? She had seemed so nice, and genuinely cared about her well-being. Yes, Lizzie knew she had been a brat about going back to Chicago, but she wanted to close out that part of her life.

"Yes, your family will be affected. But you agreed to my rules. And now you are apart of this. Either you join up, or we kill you."

Lizzie shrunk back, feeling really out of place of this whole situation. "Well then I guess you better get me to Chicago then."

The agent smiled, "Good girl."


	10. Chapter 10

"So what exactly does it entail to work undercover?" Lizzie asked. "Oh do I get to do all those ninja moves? And walk up to the bad guy and shoot him from behind? Do I get cool sunglasses?"

The agent glared.

Lizzie chuckled nervously. "Sorry."

"To work undercover, it's not just wearing normal clothes and watching from the shadows. It's becoming a whole new person, inheriting a whole new identity, to live in this identity, to convince the perpetrator that you are who they think you are and who you say you are. You get a whole wallet of identification cards and a job to assume. You will follow the lawyer for your parents and study under her apprenticeship."

"A lawyer? What do I know about the law? Am I supposed to know all of that fancy language?" Lizzie asked, feeling a bit sad at the mention of lawyers, especially a certain maternal lawyer she had left in the dust.

"You will have your parents' actual lawyer at your side. Together you will liquidate the house as well as plan a funeral for your parents. There is also an ongoing police investigation due to the call the Chicago PD received from the Police Commissioner of the will be given a warrant so that you can enter the house on your own if there is anything you would like to save, since the inheritance of the house, you, is now dead. "

Lizzie chuckled nervously yet again. "About that... is this a permanent thing? Will I never get to see any of my family members again? Cause I just want to make sure that they are okay... and I never really got a chance to know them."

"This is your life for right now. You don't know if you are going to live until tomorrow. You never actually know if you are going to make it to tomorrow. But this job, this life, minimizes your chances of survival by a lot. I know people that have gone home after being undercover after six months. Some came home after twenty years, and found that things had changed.

Lizzie gulped.

"The goal here is to take the Blue Templar down once and for all. That will protect the Reagans. You want to help them? Stay here, and take down the people who want to take you down."

"One more thing..." Lizzie started.

"What now?" The agent growled, a little irritated that she was stuck with the clueless teenager with no experience what so ever.

"I am an actress... I can play the part... but I might need a costume change..."

The agent rolled her eyes.

"Did you find her?" Erin jumped on Danny and Jamie the minute they walked back into the Bay Ridge house. Erin had drifted off, and stayed asleep for a while. Nicky must have woken up, throwing a blanket on her mother before leaving to go do her homework. Erin had absolutely no idea what time it was...

Or how much time had passed.

"No... not yet..." Jamie looked over at Danny. He had no idea how to tell his older sister, the one who inspired him to become a lawyer, that his daughter was probably already did. Erin already knew. She was raised in a family of cops and knew that look. It was the look she saw the day that Joe got shot.

"What information do we have?" Erin tried, knowing her chances were slim but still holding out hope that her daughter will still come out of this alive.

"We're pretty sure she was abducted and the car, my car, was thrown in the alley to make it look like she was attacked by a mob of some sorts. We're trying to find any video surveillance that would help us find out who or where they took her, but every camera we could have used seems clear." Danny started, not sure how his sister was going to react. She looked a little better, but still had puffed up eyes, paled skin, and she still looked thinner.

"So what do we do now?" Erin tried.

"Hope for something to come up." Jamie said, walking over to give his sister a hug. "I'm so sorry about all of this, Er. We're going to do everything that we can to find her and get her out of this mess. We have the power of the Police Commissioner of New York City in our hands and the cult of Reagans. And once the cult of Reagans gets involved there is no stopping us."

Erin smiled sadly. "I just have a really bad feeling about all of this. My daughter is out there somewhere with god knows who having god knows what done to her."

Danny walked over to Danny. "Don't you dare say anything about the other theory. There is a possibility that Lizzie set this up but is really out there. We cannot tell Er that. It will make her feel even worse."

"I know. She looks awful."

"I am going to try talking with her. You go talk to Jackie about what we should do next." Jamie nodded at his older brother and walked away.

"Hey Er." Danny said, sitting down next to his sister on the couch. She was rubbing her temples again.

"What is it Danny?"

"We are worried about you Er. That is it."

"Why is everyone worried about me? It's Lizzie you should be worried about. She is the one out there that could be killed at any minute."

"We are going to find Lizzie. In the meantime, you need to take care of yourself. You look awful."

Erin sniffled. "I'm terrified. What if we lose her too? We lost Joe and Mom and... I cannot lose my daughter too!" She started sobbing and Danny opened his arms for his sister and let her cry. It was like Joe all over again.

Jackie and Jamie were standing in the living room with Frank and Henry, debating their possible moves when Jackie's phone rang. Shrugging, she put it to her ear.

She gasped and everyone turned to look at her.

"They found a body."

 _This is just like an improv show. You've done one of those before. Just play the part and you will absolutely fine. You will be absolutely fine..._

More like absolutely screwed.

Walking into the attorney's office in downtown Chicago after landing right at O'Hare gave Lizzie a hard time keeping her eyes open. She was so nervous about this whole thing, one false move and she could be blown to bits and then bye bye Reagans. She ran her hand through her newly cut and dyed blonde hair as much as she could without ruining it. And she was exhausted.

"Hello, Mary Russell. I am studying at Columbia University to become a lawyer, and my internship assigned me to you." A blonde (with brunette roots) that wore wide framed glasses and a business suit that had too much jet-lag shook the hands of a brunette wearing a dress shirt and pants.

"Madison Robertson... A New Yorker? Why are you here in the Windy City?" The lawyer questioned with a smile on her face.

"I was always a Bears fan. Never Jets.." Lizzie laughed. "The plane ride was a little too boring for my taste however. I ran out of reading material." The two of them approached a car parked on the side of the road and got in.

"These clients were are going to visit have a tough patch. The couple left everything to their daughter, who disappeared right after the murder and was never found. She never claimed any of this, so we have to assess the value before junking everything."

"Were these people persons of interest? Rich assets?"

"No. The husband was a lawyer. I knew him. He was a good guy, and he loved his wife and kid. And now they're probably all dead because of some psychopath. It's a shame their lives were cut so short. They all had so much more life to live."

"Any info on the missing daughter?"

"None. They assume she fled and is not longer in the state."

"Are the police still investigating the murder?"

"Apparently they were going to give up but they receieved a call from a higher up and opened the case back up. They have a couple suspects but they have not been able to catch them." The two of them walked into the houde to see four police cops investigating. The crime scene, living room, was blocked off and Lizzie felt a little bit sick to her stomach when she saw the blood stains on the floor.

The police had cleared the house of all evidence and left within the hour. Her lawyer partner declared everything for salvage and called the liquidator.

Since that was the end of her shift she decided to stay, claiming she was just going to take the bus. She wanted to look around her house alone for the last time.

She had originally planned on selling it when she graduated high school, that way she could afford to got to college somewhere and live in a crappy apartment. Lizzie threw herself down across the bed and stared at her ceiling.

Anxious from lack of progress in anything, Lizzie started dumping out her mother's closet, deciding what would go to Goodwill. Most of the clothes her mother wore were too teacherish for Lizzie's liking.

After dumping out the majority of the clothes and shoes in the closet, she found a shoebox behind the rest of them that had what appeared to be old video tapes. They were the old kind that used a camera and wire to blow up on the TV.

After finding and hooking up the wiring, Lizzie popped in the tape labeled "Lizzie's Early Years" marked with what appeared to be her mother's handwriting. They were the old small tapes that you used an actual camcorder to record. She shrugged and threw them on the bed, and continued going through the closet. But she couldn't get the thought out of her head...

She walked downstairs to the basement with the tapes. After looking through yet another closet, she found the bag with the camcorder and the wiring. After hooking it up to the tv, she sat down on the couch with a cup of hot tea to relieve her nerves. She still felt awful... About everything.

The first video on the tape appeared to be from Lizzie's second birthday. Lizzie sat on her father's lap at the kitchen table with an apple pie with a number two candle on it.

"Blow out the candles!" Her father smiled. He looked so young. This was way before the stress of his job gave him wrinkles on his face and gray spots in his hair. He looked happy.

"Happy birthday baby girl!" Her mother said from off screen. She was probably the one holding her camera. Lizzie could just imagine it. Her mother's red hair straight to her shoulders, probably wearing a plaid shirt and jeans, and smiling her smile that seemed to light up the world, or at least Lizzie's world.

Lizzie couldn't help but sniffle. Eventually she was all out sobbing. She walked over to her purse, dumping it out on the bed. Out came her wallet full of fake IDs, her glasses, a notepad. She looked over, seeing what she was looking for. The crumpled up picture of her, being held by Erin Reagan. Erin looked so happy, but so sad at the same time. At that point she knew she was giving away the chance to see her child grow up, but she looked so happy, because she thought she was doing the right thing by giving her away.

The other thing she was looking for... The Reagan family photo. Taken at the dedication for her Uncle Joe, her whole family stood next to the plaque, smiling. Her mother smiled her usual empty smile, her sister looked carefree, and her uncles looked... pissed?

She would miss them.

She would always miss them and there was nothing she could ever do about it.

"They found a body in a dumpster by where the car was found and they think it is Lizzie. Its fresh..." Jackie took a deep breath. "And it's damaged to the point of no recognition. It was burned alive." Baker, whom Jamie had just noticed had been standing there next to the Commissioner the whole time, looked genuinely concerned. How much did she know about this?

"Should we go see?" Jamie asked, while he saw Danny come into the room and try to jump into the conversation.

"The body was already taken to the morgue but it needs to..." Jackie took another deep breath. "Be identified." Danny's eyes widened and he looked at Jackie, hoping to get something out of his partner other than the tears starting to form in her eyes. Never had he seen Jackie cry.

Frank was about to tell Danny what to do when they noticed that Erin was standing there.

And she had heard everything.

"What do you mean they found a body? Are they sure it's Lizzie?" Erin leaned against the wall, feeling the air get knocked out of her... she felt dizzy. Her eyes rolled back into her head and she dropped to the ground.

"Erin!" Frank screamed, walking over to her on the ground. Danny and Jamie both jumped and ran over to their sister, now collapsed.

And then there were two Reagans down.


	11. Chapter 11

"The funeral for the Johnsons will take place on Saturday. Their investigation is still pending, until they can find the daughter. If they don't ever find her, then the case will go cold," The lawyer sitting across from Lizzie said the next day. She nodded, not sure how to react, was she supposed to do something? She couldn't do anything to blow her cover, thus not being able to step up and say that Elizabeth Johnson-Reagan was still truly alive, because that could put her whole family at risk.

"The house is being liquidated as we speak and then will be put on the market, if they can even sell it, since now the people will think it is haunted or whatever because someone was killed there."

Lizzie had stayed there all of the night before that, taking whatever pictures and personal items she could. She had gotten everything she wanted before slamming the door to that part of her life, both figuratively and really.

She wasn't exactly sure what she was supposed to do now. She hung around with the lawyer for the rest of that day, but then somehow found herself changing into an old sweatshirt and leggings. Showing up at her high school was not something she expected to do, she knew that people could recognize her and blow the cover, which is why she waited until after school when she could sneak into the practice for the musical and see how it was going without her.

She was supposed to be Fanny Brice. It was her dream role, having been portrayed by the one and only Barbra Streisand. She had worked so hard against her enemy, Catherine Mills, to get that role. And yet, Catherine Mills was the one on the stage, singing her song. She sat down in the back of the theater, watching Catherine sing the most memorable song of the show.

"Peooopppllleee, people who need people..." She sang, on key, but in a rather miserable and not enthusiastic way. She didn't even seem in character, just really sick that she was stuck singing the songs.

"Come on Catherine! At least try and pretend you're enjoying it..." Her director, Mr. Murray, seemed to be saying. He looked agitated, if anything. Like if he could have someone else, anyone else, sing it, he would. At some point he turned around and saw her sitting there, a bit amused by the two of them bickering. She immediately stopped smiling.

"Who are you?" He asked, clearly having had a bad day, and not enough coffee.

"I'm, uh, Mary Russell, I, uh..." She started, clearly nervous he was going to somehow recognize her. "I just wanted to see you guys rehearse. I absolutely love Broadway shows and Funny Girl is my favorite." She started, feeling her confidence go back up. She stood up and started walking towards the stage.

"I seem to notice that you aren't very into what you're doing. I think you need a bit more... theatricality. You need to strut that stage and be Fanny Brice. Be Fanny Brice and not be some high school girl that looks miserable playing Fanny Brice. You are standing up there, showing future generations what made Barbra Streisand famous. You need to be a New Yorker that is trying to make her way up there. Getting into the Zigfield Follies even though she has nothing going for her. She doesn't think she will ever find someone to love. Let me try."

And that is how Lizzie found herself standing up on her stage, right where she was supposed to be, singing her song, People.

Well you know what they say, people who need people are the luckiest people in the world.

She closed her eyes, and she felt like she was back in high school, not some undercover dead girl that was actually apart of one of the most powerful families in the New York Police Department. She felt alive. The only difference was that instead of pretending to visualize her Nick Arnstein, she was imagining her mother and uncles and sister and cousins and grandpa.

Because no matter what she did, the thought of them would not leave her mind.

-

Erin woke up in St. Victor's Hospital a few hours later. Naturally her first instinct was to get up and mutter protests about wasting time when she could be trying to find Lizzie, but it was her nurse, Linda, that pushed her back down.

"Linda... my kid is out there. I need to go find her."

"Erin... when you were brought in here, your body was going into shock. You were dehydrated and not eating, your system was starting to shut itself down."

"Because I need to focus on Lizzie, not myself."

"Yeah, but Er, you're no good to Lizzie dead." Danny said, standing in the doorway with Frank and Jamie at his sides. Frank looked relieved, and Jamie just looked sad.

"What about that body you found?" Erin asked, giving her brother a look to tell him not to lie because she would get out the hosptial bed just to punch him in the face.

"Jamie and I went to ID it at the morgue. The body was burned beyond recognition. The medical examiner ruled it as her being murdered, by being burned alive. The body structure matched Lizzie's... and, uh..." Danny looked over at his father.

"The DNA was a match, Erin." Frank said, looking down and pursing his lips, causing his mustache to rise.

"So you're saying she is dead?" Erin whispered, not able to process the words.

"Er..." Jamie started, but was cut off by Frank, motioning for him and his brother to leave.

Frank sighed, realizing he had no idea what to say to comfort his daughter, now sobbing uncontrollably right in front of him.

Like Joe and Mary all over again.

"My dear, you remind me of Elizabeth Johnson. Same vocal quality, same intonation, same stage performance..." The man she used to call her director was saying.

Aw shit.

"Elizabeth Johnson was a client of mine. I read her file and I felt awful about what had happened. Her future seemed so bright. While scoping her house I found a script for this show. So here I am..." Lizzie said, using everything she had ever learned from the man in front of him to lie to that exact same man.

"Stop stop stop stop!" Mr. Murray had yelled to her from his seat in the audience. Her performance as Liesel from the Sound of Music was less than persuasive. She had wanted to be Maria, but was beat out by none other than Catherine. Of course she wanted o continue the role, but she just could not find a way to mold herself into the character, because she still really wanted to be Maria.

"You must believe that you love him, otherwise it just looks like you couldn't care less. Believe that you are Liesel Von Trapp, loving Ralph because he is the first boy you could set your eyes on."

Lizzie looked over at her Ralph. He was so good looking... but she knew that no matter what she did, Ryan would never want her... because she was ugly and socially awkward and hung out with the weirdos instead of the popular crowd. He was a part of the popular crowd, but was not afraid to be in theater because it was what he loved... that was something she admired.

"You are sixteen going on seventeen..."

"Were you involved in drama in your high school? Cause you are a natural..."

Was her cover allowed to have a backstory? She chuckled. "Well... I loved theatre, until I-"

Her cover phone rang and she blushed before putting it to her ear.

"Russell... where are you? The Johnsons? Their daughter's body was found in New York City. The case remains under investigation in case the two events were related. I need you to come with me to meet some of the detectives working on the case..."

Wait a minute, were the detectives she was referring to... the Reagans? She couldn't see them again, not without bursting into tears and running towards them as fast as she could with open arms.

"Turns out the NYPD wants to take over this case completely because they claim the CPD has been doing a lousy job and they want justice. They want to hear our side of the story..."

"Um, I don't think I know enough about them to give a statement. I just know them because they were your clients..."

"But they're being very thorough. Maybe too thorough. They must be looking for something in particular."

Yeah, something like me. "Any chance I can get out of it?"

"Just get your butt down here Russell. Don't make me come get you myself." Lizzie chuckled before walking towards her car.

"Wait!" She turned around to see Mr. Murray running towards her. Her stomach dropped. She really missed this place... "Please come back again... you are a natural. If you want a part in the ensemble, you've got yourself a spot." He handed her a sticky note with a phone number on it. "Take care!" He said, before slowly turning back around. It made her smile, she still had her spark.

Once she got to the car, she pulled out her other cell phone from the center console and dialed Agent Anderson, who answered on the second ring. "Anderson," she greeted.

"Reagan, what is it now?"

"Uh... well... I am not very sure about any of this secret agent stuff... so I wanted to double check with you... the lawyer I am working with? She says that there are detectives from the NYPD investigating this case, and she wants me to meet with them. And if I'm right, it's the Reagans trying to find out whatever they can about Elizabeth's death."

"They want you to meet with them?"

"Yeah, and I think it's a bad idea. Am I right?"

"Listen, I know that you are new to all of this and have almost no training, but you cannot call me every time you have a question. You need to be able to answer for yourself because you are essentially on your own now. Do you understand?"

Lizzie nodded, until she realized that the agent couldn't see it. "Yes ma'am. I just don't want to do anything stupid, everyone is at risk here."

"Yes, I know... but you are a smart girl, and I know that you will do just fine. I have to go. Good luck!"

The line went dead. Lizzie sighed. She was all on her own. She thought long and hard for about four seconds before deciding that she was going to meet the detectives.

-

"Reagan, are you sure that driving all the way out to Chicago was a good idea? You need to be with your family in this time of loss. I am really sorry about Lizzie. She was a good kid."

Jackie and Danny had driven fourteen hours non-stop to Chicago. Danny wanted to stay with his family, but he knew that he had to go solve the case at hand, and if that meant running to Chicago to try to find the man that had raped his sister and killed his niece, then so be it.

Jackie and Danny had taken off soon after telling Erin the truth. Someone suggested the brilliant idea to bug his sister because apparently they all thought she would try something smart to get out of the hospital bed or they thought there was a possibly that he might show up, despite Frank's undercover detail scurried throughout the hospital. When Frank wasn't there, Linda was stopping in every chance that she could. Nicky was with Frank, and Jamie stopped there between his tours.

When Erin started sobbing after four or five hours of silence, it was heard by two hungry groggy detectives. "Jack... Is she crying? Do you think something happened?" Jackie sat up from her leaned back position. Danny had insisted on them listening to New Kids on The Block the whole ride, because apparently Donnie Wahlburg was great, or something.

Jackie flipped the radio volume off and listened. Erin was clearly crying, but it didn't seem like she was in a situation. She was just crying because she was sad.  
Heartbroken.  
Angry at the world.  
Jackie knew how that felt. It wasn't great.

"I think she's okay, not in any trouble, but probably just letting her emotions go. She's been through a lot." Danny pressed his foot down hard on the pedal, speeding them down the highway. Jackie fell back against her seat before rubbing her temples.

"Danny slow down just a tad will ya? I'm going to get whiplash. Erin is fine, okay?"

Danny sighed before slowing back down, knowing that speeding down the interstate would not change what had happened.

"She adored you. You two were cute." Danny sighed, looking over at his partner. He promised himself he was not going to cry at all. The look on his sister's face was enough to know that he was going to be the one to catch the guy who had killed his niece and her parents. "I just want to make sure that whoever did this is caught and gets punishment for murdering one of my girls."

Jackie was having a hard time too. It was awful how quickly she had attached onto this girl, Erin's daughter Lizzie, who despite not having grown up as a Reagan had every bit of potential that the other Reagans did. She would admit to having shed a few tears during the fourteen hour drive to Chicago with Danny.

"Do you really want to go look at the house? Chicago PD claims to have swept it of all evidence, which were all the pictures and blood samples and objects they showed us down at the station."

"As bad and probably creepy as this sounds, I kind of want to see where my niece grew up. Erin clearly thought we couldn't have her ourselves, so she sent her off halfway across the country to this place."

"I don't think you should be harping on Erin. I think she had a reason for what she did, I mean, she wanted to keep Lizzie from this guy... which is what she did, essentially."

"Look at where she is now Jackie! My niece is dead because I failed to protect her! SHE IS DEAD BECAUSE OF ME!" Jackie let her instincts take over and she awkwardly pulled her partner into a hug, and he started sobbing onto her shoulder.

"I'm the reason my niece is dead, Jack..." He cried.

Jackie continued patting her partner on the back, feeling awful for him, not really knowing what to say or do to make him feel better. All she could really do was just be there, and that would be enough for now, she supposed.

"The lawyers that were working the Johnsons' case will see you now." One of the CPD people said from the doorway. Jackie nodded, still clutching Danny tight.


	12. Chapter 12

He had to get out of there, he had to before _they_ found him. How could he have been so stupid? All he had wanted was to have his Erin back, so they could raise up their baby girl the right way... The one that was alive.

She needed to get it in her head that these people she had grown up with were not her parents. He was her father, he would decide what his daughter would and would not do. And as for his daughter's hot mother, he certainly would not mind teaching her a lesson or two.

He quickly shuffled over to the payphone in the diner where he sat with his chocolate shake and French fries, casually dipping the fries into the shake. He dialed the number written on the card and waited for a response.

"How long should I wait to engage? I don't know how much longer until they find me... Should I just stick to the original plan? Grab her?"

"Your job was to kill the parents and grab the girl. You did the first part right but failed at the second part!" The voice on the other side of the line hissed. "We have the girl under close wraps now."

"I want to see her." He said without a moment's hesitation.

"Well that's too bad. People who do a lousy job don't get rewarded. They get punished." Suddenly a hooded figure with a gun emerged into the diner, taking a single shot and nailing him right in the forehead. The other people in the diner all screamed, slowly emerging as far back as they could.

"It's okay. I am an FBI agent and this man was wanted for murder." They declared to the people before walking towards the door, swinging it open. "Perverted asshole." They muttered.

"Hello, I'm Mary Russell, I am the apprentice of Chicago ADA Madison Robertson." Lizzie held out her hand to Jackie, who shook the clammy hand. "Sorry I couldn't be hear sooner, I was held up with something else." Lizzie sure as hell hoped that her 'British' accent was fooling Jackie... and where was her uncle?

She was slightly irritated that she was back in the box, they were desperate if they thought that going to the lawyers of the Johnsons would help them solve their case. She just hoped and prayed that all of the concealer she had applied to her face would make her look preppy and not like she was trying to hide something. She could act, but she certainly could not deny the fact that she was Elizabeth Reagan, the girl they were all looking for.

"Detective Jackie Curatola from the NYPD. Sorry for calling you for this, I know you barely knew the Johnsons, but we need to look at every possible angle that we can to find out who killed the parents, and who killed the daughter. Tell me what you know." Jackie didn't seem phased in the slightest that the girl in front of her was wearing sunglasses and talking with a British accent while chewing bubble gum- it was the only thing she could think of!

"I've only been here for a couple of days. Ms. Robertson said that she had known the Johnsons for a long time, since Mr. Johnson was also a lawyer, they worked together. Said they were a nice family. We went to the house and cleared out all the assets, nothing really out of the ordinary, the Chicago Police Department was almost complete with its sweep for evidence, and they hadn't found anything to help determine the perpetrator. The Johnsons' daughter, Elizabeth, fled the scene as soon as it happened and went to New York, where she was found dead several days later."

Jackie closed the file in front of her. "You went to Columbia University in New York?"

Lizzie nodded.

"Why are you here then? It's kind of fishy that you were in New York right before the girl was murdered, and showed up in Chicago right then."

Lizzie gulped. "Yes, that does look fishy, doesn't it? Well, I, uh, needed a change of scenery." She ripped the sunglasses off and rubbed the concealer slightly off in one spot where there was a big bruise from where Lizzie had banged her head on a wall repetitively (she knew it was a dumb move but she didn't have any other ideas).

"So I relocated and changed my name because I wanted to get away from an abusive boyfriend. That is why I am here now. You can ask anyone to cooperate my story." She mumbled quickly, started to feel claustrophobic.

Jackie just stared at her, blinking. "You seem awfully jumpy, are you sure you are not hiding anything? Whatever it is, we can help you."

"No, I just do not like being questioned by the police, it makes me feel like I did something wrong, and that I'm back to being questioned about him. They almost never believed me!"

"And what is with the British accent?" Jackie asked, gaining suspicious about her. She had to cover the tracks!

"I lived in England for a while growing up..." Lizzie slowly stated.

"It doesn't say that anywhere on your records..." Jackie was certainly suspicious at this point.

"I used to go there every summer. I-" Jackie was cut off by the sound of her own cell phone ringing. She glared at it before standing up and answering it. As she paced around talking on the phone, Lizzie took a deep breath.

She needed to get out of here.

Erin Reagan would literally have done anything she could to have gotten out of that hospital. It was her brother and his partner that were in Chicago right now on special case to find out what had really happened to her daughter.

"Mom, are you okay?" Nicky asked her mother for what seemed like the thousandth time. She just always seemed so distant, like she was too in her thoughts to know that Nicky was there. Yes, she felt really bad about her sister, but she had never seen her mother like this. Nicky pouted, slouching back on her chair before looking over at Frank, who motioned for her to go stand outside.

"Erin..." He started.

"I should have done something Dad! I wasn't even phased that my daughter's parents were murdered and there was a possibility that she would be too! I didn't even care that I was leaving her with Danny at your house, it didn't matter to me! Sure Danny was the reason she got out but she shouldn't have been there without me in the first place!"

"Have you ever prayed the Serenity Prayer?" Erin shook her head no.

 _"God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change; courage to change the things I can; and wisdom to know the difference. Living one day at a time; enjoying one moment at a time; accepting hardships as the pathway to peace; taking, as He did, this sinful world as it is, not as I would have it; trusting that He will make all things right if I surrender to His Will; that I may be reasonably happy in this life and supremely happy with Him forever in the next. Amen."_

Erin narrowed her eyes. What did that have to do with... oh. She looked over at Frank, who had joined Nicky in the hallway.

"For the things I cannot change, grant me the serenity to accept them, courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference. Amen." Erin made a cross and looked over at Nicky with a smile and motioned for her to come in.

She literally squeezed Nicky half to death. "I love you so much honey."

It was then she realized this was a thing that she could never change. She could never change giving away her child, herself getting raped, her getting murdered...

"Grant me serenity," she begged silently.

"Danny what is it? This apprentice lawyer kid looks really suspicious. And she kind of reminds me of-"

"Jack something is wrong." Danny rubbed his face up and down, as if to rub away all of the stress and sadness. "Ian Smith was found dead in Indianapolis with a bullet in his head."

"Wait, isn't he-"

"Yes, he was Lizzie's biological father. And now the only one still alive in that little family is Erin, which means we have to make sure all of the undercover cops are keeping an eye on her. Now, this guy might have acquired a few enemies over his lifetime, or..." Danny trailed off, sitting down in one of the spinning chairs.

"Whoever he was working with was done with him." Jackie realized.

"So we find out who he was working for and we have our first lead."

"But Danny, there was no evidence that Lizzie's death had something to do with her parents' death. Yes, it can be assumed that Smith was after the whole family because of what went down with your sister, but there were no cameras, no DNA samples... it could have just been a random kill."

"Jack, while that is highly possible, you and I both know that is not true. She was targeted because of her last name." Danny did not dare say anything about the fact that his father had been receiving anonymous threats about people coming after his family. He was not supposed to know but he had accidentally stumbled upon the information a bit ago.

"Well then if that is true, we need to protect your whole family. But who would want to target the Reagans?"

"Jackie, do you know how many people out there want to target us? Every person I put away, my dad put away, Joe and Jamie put away... the people my sister has convicted? Every single person that hates my father because he is the police commissioner of New York and has always sided with his cops over everybody else..."

"Okay, well where do we start then? We should see who Ian Smith was contacting before he died, right? But that's a problem, since he didn't have a home phone or cell phone." Stumped, Jackie sat down on the chair opposite Danny.

"What did you say about that lawyer?"

"Just that she seemed really jumpy, like she had something to hide. And she kind of reminds me of your niece."

"Nicky?"

"No, Lizzie."

Danny sighed. "Should I go meet her?"

"Sure. Maybe it will give you some inspiration." Jackie said with a slight laugh. After a glare, Danny smiled back at her.

"Grandpa, is my mom okay? Like really okay?" Nicky asked when the two of them were sitting in the hospital cafeteria. Nicky picked at her sandwich while Frank sipped his coffee.

"She's just hurting right now Nicky. She'll be back to her normal self eventually. It will take time, but slowly she will start feeling better." He turned his cup of coffee in his hands, seeing Garrett watching them out of the corner of his eye. Baker was with Erin, instructed to have a gun in her back and bulletproof vest on at all times.

"It's not like I can really blame her. I mean, she gave up Lizzie the day she was born and never saw her again. The minute she comes back she decides to go get herself killed?" Nicky took a long sip of her lemonade, almost like a shot.

"Nicky, your sister did not-"

"I heard Uncle Danny tell you. He couldn't keep her from leaving. She took his car and just started driving. She didn't care about us, she didn't care about Mom..."

"I only knew your sister for a few days. She was hurting. Her whole world had been taken away from her. Her parents were murdered right in front of her. How would you feel if someone decided to kill your mother and your father right in front of you?"

"I would be very scared, and miserable, and all alone." Nicky mumbled, knowing her grandfather had been right, once again. She also felt the pit in her stomach increase at the mention of her father, whom she knew did not want anything to do with her.

"I don't think Lizzie was planning on running away. I think she just needed some air and was in the wrong place at the wrong time."

"Grandpa, was Lizzie...er, was Lizzie killed by the person who killed her parents?"

Frank sighed. "I don't know Nicky, I don't know... all I do know is that if you want to help get everything back on track you have to help your mother recover. Make sure she is eating, drinking, sleeping... and if she ever says something that makes you feel uncomfortable, you call your Aunt Linda, or Uncle Jamie, or me."

Nicky nodded. "Okay Grandpa."

"Hi I am Detective Danny Reagan from the NYPD. I know you've already met my partner Jackie. What do you know about the Johnsons?" He sat down across from the girl with the sunglasses... and bubble gum?

Lizzie hated it. The fact that her uncle was so close to her. It made her want to cry after all of the things she had done to him. She literally thought that he was the bad guy and ran away from him, taking and crashing his car. The guilt was making her feel sick. She didn't think she could make it through without crying. She let out a silent sob.

"Why are you crying?" Danny snapped in what could only be considered Danny Reagan fashion.

"I just- you remind me so much of him." She sobbed, surprised that the lies were coming up so easily now. Being undercover really was just a big improv game!

"Who?" Danny asked, completely lost. He did not feel like this girl was anything like his niece, his niece was intelligent and smart and pretty... This girl was just plain obnoxious.

"My boyfriend... He.. He..."

"Okay okay, I will just leave you with Jackie then. Sorry for making you feel uncomfortable..." In a swing of motions Danny yanked the glasses off her face and pulled her hair upwards, making her yelp.

"Do you know anything about who killed this people bubble gum?" Danny screamed. Lizzie looked over at Jackie with a pleading look, but Jackie had turned away and was pretending to be on her phone.

"NO! I don't! Okay! And do you treat all of the people you question like this? Isn't it illegal? If I tell the people out there what you're doing, won't IA come running after you?"

Danny slightly loosened his grip on her hair. "What do you know about Internal Affairs? Are you a cop?" When Lizzie didn't answer he gripped her hair again, pulling her off the chair with it. "ARE YOU A COP?" He repeated.

"NO! Read my file! I graduated high school early and studied law at Columbia! I was never a cop! I just watched a lot of cop shows and Internal Affairs was always a pain in the ass for the cops. Look, you're clearly agitated about something, and you're taking out your anger on me. I told you that I do not know anything, so if you don't release me now I will tell them that you abused me while interrogating me."

Danny looked over at Jackie, who nodded. He dropped her, throwing her back down on the chair.

"Worthless piece of scum. Get this piece of crap out of here." He walked out.

Lizzie looked over at Jackie, and the two made eye contact. "Well that was stressful..." Lizzie said, slumping back down against the chair. "Are we done here?"


	13. Chapter 13

"You will have to stay nearby in case we have any more questions." Jackie told Lizzie once they had left the box. Lizzie looked over to see her uncle with his head in his hands. He looked awful.

"Is your partner going to be okay?" She asked, her voice taking a sad dip.

"Yeah, he's dealing with a lot right now." Jackie turned to look at the young lawyer.

"I can imagine." Lizzie sighed. "Well I will be around if you need me for anything else."

Jackie nodded. "Okay, thank you." She started walking towards Danny but stopped when her phone rang. Seeing that it was an unknown number, she slowly put the phone up to her ear.

"Detective Curatola." She answered.

"I need to meet you." The voice on the other side of the line started.

"Excuse me?" Jackie questioned, ready to hang up.

"It's about the Reagans. Come alone." The line dropped and Jackie sighed.

"Looks like now I am a part of that cult." She murmured.

The first thing Lizzie did when she got to her apartment was throw herself across the bed. That was such a close one, and she wasn't even out of the woods. Jackie and Danny clearly thought she was involved, not that she could blame them with the way she was acting.

She had no idea what to do next. She had signed on to take down the Blue Templar and supposedly she was doing what she was supposed to, but what exactly was that?

Standing as bait at her parents' funeral was not the way she imagined she would be helping the Reagans. Supposedly the Blue Templar was just going to come out of nowhere and decide to attack her, even though she was dead? There would be police backup to take down any one who drew a gun, and then they would have a way to get the rest of the group. In a way that made some sense, but in other ways, it made no sense at all.

She slowly flipped on the TV, where the news showed the breaking story of the murderer of two Chicago residents, Melissa and Chad Johnson, had been shot dead in a diner in Indianapolis. The diner was in the background, flooded with police and crime scene investigators.

The newscaster was interviewing one of the witnesses, who apparently worked at the diner and had seen the whole event. She seemed about fifty with white hair and an apron thrown across her body, covered in what appeared to be flour. "The person said that they were an FBI agent and that the man they had shot was wanted for murder. Everyone else in the diner, including myself, was too shocked by everything happening so fast to move."

"And did the man do anything strange up until this point?" The newscaster asked.

"Well, he was sitting in that booth over there." The lady motioned in a booth that was now marked off, "And he ordered some uh, french fries and chocolate shake. He was dipping the fries in the shake. He seemed to be talking to himself. He looked really worried about something. Later on he was using the phone when the person came in and shot him."

"Investigators are determining whether or not the shooter was actually an FBI agent. There are no pieces of evidences leading to that conclusion that that is accurate. An FBI agent would not be wearing a black mask, and they would not shoot to kill. The investigation is ongoing because of these items put into consideration. More news on this story later tonight on the ten o'clo-"

Lizzie sighed. Her father was dead.

Then, exactly who was she after again?

"I have to say, you have some nerve threatening the Reagans over the phone." Jackie walked up to a table outside of a little cafe in Chicago. The man sitting there wore sunglasses, staring down at his phone. Jackie was getting irritated, who did this guy think he was?

"I was not threatening them. This is for their protection. Everything I say must be kept between you and me. Do you understand?" Jackie nodded, trying really hard not to strangle the idiot in front of him. "The Blue Templar is after the Reagans. They think that taking down the whole family will cause Frank to give in to all of their demands."

"The Blue Templar? Wasn't that an old NYPD group?"

"Yes, it was formed by my grandfather a while ago as a union type group. But since then it has gotten corrupt. And somehow it spread to more than just the NYPD. The CPD has a few members as well, watching from within. With the spread, Homeland Security and the FBI fear the group may commence terrorism, thus they urged to start a task force specifically to take down the group. They call it the Reagan Initiative.."

"Why the Reagan Initiative?" Jackie asked.

"Well, after dropping off the radar I was asked to lead the group. Taking down this group is the only way I can be reunited with the rest of my family. Because you're so close to Danny, you need to keep an eye on him. Make sure he doesn't do anything stupid to avenge the death of his brother or his niece. Also, my agents have a slight hunch that some Templar members will show up at the funeral of the Johnsons because their killer worked for them and start shooting."

"So should Danny and I go to the funeral? Scope it out?" Jackie didn't know why her guard was slowly going down. She trusted him, in a weird way. It was the same way she felt around all the Reagans. They all had this security blanket and urging to keep her and everybody else safe because it was their duty.

"I suppose. But do not engage unless you are completely sure that they are dangerous."

"Okay, I'll do it. But can I ask a question?" The man looked up with a smile and nodded. "Who are you?"

"Call me Joe."

"Melissa and Chad Johnson were taken away by our Lord early. He believed they would serve a better purpose in heaven than here on Earth. " The priest spoke to the crowd, his bible in hand. They might not have been the most religious people in the world, but they did believe that there was an afterlife. Now they knew whether or not that was true. But Lizzie wouldn't know that until she died. And maybe she would die because someone in this mess would kill her, and she could learn to accept that.

Lizzie stared down at the grass that had started dying down on the ground. Every direction she looked, she saw gravestones. Most of the people that had showed up for the service were her parents' coworkers, Melissa's from the school she worked at, and Chad's from the law firm. She felt so alone, not a single family member was there. Her uncle and all of their kids were on vacation in Florida- and didn't even bother to see if Lizzie was okay. They probably didn't know she was 'dead'.

"I think we should go and pay our respects." Jackie said to Danny from where they were standing, far away from the group where their car was parked.

Danny didn't move.

"Danny... I don't know what to say. She's your niece. You said she was practically your kid, and you're not going to even thank the people who raised her...?"

"Jack..."

"Look, I don't know what it's like to have kids and I probably never will. But Lizzie needs some comfort, from Heaven or wherever she is. It may or may not be one of us that should be the ones to give it to her. I don't know. But maybe we should respect the people who raised her because she's probably watching us or whatever. I was never any good at all of this religious crap."

Danny was about to argue when his phone started going off. He did get a little agitated when he saw that it was Erin, calling for a status update for the fifth time within the last hour.

"Erin ... we're here and nothing has happened. He's not going to show up here when there are bystanders around."

"I don't care Danny. I screwed up with Lizzie and I'm not going to let that happen again!" Erin growled, and Danny could hear the shuffle of the line in the background.

"What are you doing Er?" Danny squeezed his fists, to help keep himself calm mostly.

"Flying out to Chicago." Erin declared. Danny leaned back on the car in realization, while Jackie was staring at him, hoping to get some sort of update as to what was going on.

"You don't have to-" Danny started, but Erin cut him off right away.

"Try and stop me." The line went dead.

Danny sighed, looking over at Jackie. "It never ends, does it?"

...

"Do not engage! I repeat do not engage! There are cops there! Wait for my signal!" She quickly slammed the phone down when she saw her boss coming towards her.

"Agent Anderson..." He greeted.

"Mr. Reagan... How can I help you?"

"You can start by telling me who gave you the anonymous tip that the Blue Templar would be at the funeral, and why you put my niece in as bait?"

"I did not put her in as bait! She wanted this funeral for her parents, I was not going to take away the only opportunity the girl had to say goodbye!" The agent said with a nervous grin.

"And exactly who were you telling not to engage?"

"Well, the police that are there in case of attack..."

"Then why did you tell them not to engage because of the cops that are there? Almost like you're the one in charge of the Templar..." Mr. Reagan laughed in a sly sly way before taking the women down to the ground.

"You're under arrest, madam."

Lots of people came up to her and told her to be strong. Eventually all of them left and Lizzie was left alone, standing with her parents. Lizzie stood there for what seemed like hours staring at the stones laying in the ground. At some point snow started falling, and Lizzie pulled the hat over her ears before putting her hands in her pockets. Her phone rang and she slowly pulled it out of her pockets.

"He didn't show up!" Lizzie yelled into her phone when the whole group had retreated back to a restaurant for a luncheon. She had stayed behind, hoping to catch some more time with her family.

"Yes. I'm glad you reunited with your family. We can't have these talks over the phone, our conversations could be tapped into. I'll come see you in the next few days. There are cops watching. Lay low and stay safe."

Lizzie was surprised that it was not her agent calling, but rather someone else from her number. That could not be good... "Will do. Thank you." She put the phone back in her pocket and sighed.

"Mom...Dad... I'm sorry for all of the times I called you guys things I shouldn't have, or talked back to you. I'm sorry I was an awful daughter my whole life..." she choked up, the words trapped inside of her.

Lizzie didn't notice the second car come up behind the first. She had seen the first, but dismissed it thinking it was some random car, even though she knew that it was a cop car. And she had the feeling she knew the cops inside, but she was not going to stop acting dumb.

"Is that the dumb lawyer paying her respects?" Danny asked, the disgust in his voice evident. "Are you sure there was not more to her story?"

"Maybe she is just paying her respects, she is only a kid Danny! She has not been exposed to all of the world's evil. And seeing two parents get murdered in front of their child is kind of a reminder that our world is not a safe place. It's a scary place. And being a lawyer only amplifies these evils because you are surrounded by them everyday."

"What? Erin's words, not mine."

"And I'm sorry for being given to you in the first place. If my grandmother hadn't dumped me with you, you would still be here today. Mom, you would be making a difference in the lives of Chicago kids, and Dad, you would be bringing justice to the law. And I'm sorr-"

"That's an awful lot to say to someone you did not know."

Jackie.

"Well, I uh..."

"CPD... drop your weapons!" They heard from across the lot. The two of them both whipped their heads around to see Danny surrounded by Chicago cops. The two of them shot looks at each other before running towards Danny almost in sync. Jackie grabbed her gun out of the holster.

"Both of you get down on the ground!" One of the policemen screamed, pointing his gun at Danny. "You, put your gun on the ground."

Jackie obliged.

"Help me put this one in the trunk!" One of them said, standing next to Danny. Danny was down on the ground after surely being hit in the head, and there was something in his eyes that Jackie had never seen before.

There were at least ten of them that jumped out of the white van behind them. Why weren't they paying attention? They were cops, they were supposed to be able to get out of things like these.

"They said he only wanted Reagans..."

"Well then they'll get both of them."

The girls watched as Danny Reagan, the best detective they had ever seen, was injected with something that made him stop putting up a fight. They stripped him of weapons before putting him in the trunk.

Jackie tried to fight the guys holding her back, but one of them was holding her up by her hair and the other one had Lizzie up by her hair.

"Well at least we can have fun with this one." They said, all surrounding Lizzie now. Lizzie panicked, she had no idea how to get out of a situation like this. One of the guys gave Jackie a shot in the stomach and Lizzie watched her go limp when she hit the ground.

"So Elizabeth Reagan, it's a pleasure to meet you." The man snarled, holding her up by her hair. "Strip her of everything. If I can't have her mom then I'll certainly take her." Lizzie did the only thing she could do, which was give one of the guys a hard knee in the gut, which threw him slightly off balance. That was enough to let Lizzie loosen the rope around her hands.

They all looked so hungry then. There were five of them surrounding her. One of them had the syringe in his hand, and had it already in her neck when he went stiff and dropped.

Three shots and then all but one were down, the man in charge. Jackie was still on the ground, bleeding out. But her gun was by her side. Boss man looked surprised. He clearly didn't know where the shots had come from, but his main focus was her.

"Elizabeth, you can run, you can hide, but we will always find you." He held his gun up, ready to shoot her. To kill her.

Lizzie dropped to the ground. She looked at the man with a pleaded look in her eyes. "Please don't kill me. Take me instead of my uncle. I'll do anything you want. You can do whatever you want to me."

The man furrowed his eyebrows.

Lizzie whipped out the service weapon she probably should of pulled out five minutes ago, and shot him. By then the other men in the van had caught on that half of their men were gub and that boss guy was screwed and had driven off. Her uncle Danny, one of the strongest people she had ever met, had been taken just like that.

Jackie let out a cough, and Lizzie was reminded that she was standing over a pile of five dead bodies. She walked over them to Jackie, who was coughing up a little too much blood.

"We need to get you to a hospital!" Lizzie hesitated. She didn't know who she could trust at this point... she took the sweater she was wearing off of herself before putting pressure on the wound.

"Danny..." She let out.

"He's gone..." Lizzie said with a gulp.


	14. Chapter 14

"Commissioner." Baker greeted when she walked into his office. She didn't know how she was going to tell him that Danny was taken in Chicago...

"Baker..." He responded, looking up from his computer to his left hand.

"I've just recieved word that Detectives Curatola and Reagan were ambushed in Chicago. Curatola is in the hospital with abdomen gun wounds, but Danny was..." She cleared her throat slowly. "Taken."

"Have you assembled the rest of my family yet? Told them to get up here?"

"Linda is bringing the kids asap, Henry and Nicky are on their way..."

"What about Jamie and Erin?"

"Jamie said he needed to finish his tour with Officer Renzulli, and Erin... Erin left for Chicago from your house about an hour ago. Henry told me when I called him."

"Any plausible suspects?"

"Detective Curatola told me that they were all Chicago cops..."

"So, they are some kind of dirty cop group?"

"I believe so, sir."

Frank sat back in his chair, pursing his lips. "Thank you Baker." He dismissed and she nodded before walking out.

"I do not need medical attention!" Jackie grunted, her hand pressured over the bullet wound. Lizzie just laughed, she couldn't wait to see how crazy the morphine drip would make her.

"C'mon," Lizzie slowly helped Jackie out of the car and into the emergency entrance of the hospital. Once they were fifty feet into the hospital Jackie collapsed. Immediately she was surrounded by a group of doctors who immediately put Jackie on a bed and whisked her away to surgery.

Lizzie was worried about Jackie, but she knew it would be a while before she knew anything. Lizzie was planning on staring at the nurses run in and out of the ER when her phone rang. Irritated, she picked it up.

"Hello, just calling to see how everything is going." The same male voice from earlier greeted.

"Who are you? What happened to the female agent that introduced me to this project?"

"She no longer works here, I'm afraid. So where are you? Are you with Detectives Reagan and Curatola?" He seemed almost concerned for her. Lizzie had to control herself otherwise she would start laughing like she did when things got stupid.

Lizzie took a deep breath. Who knew if this was a good guy or not. Well, not much more damage he could do anyways. "Reagan was taken, and Curatola is currently getting prepped for surgery as we speak. She was shot."

"Are you with her?" He asked, seeminh slightly concerned.

"Yes sir." Lizzie nodded until she realized he couldn't see him.

"Which hospital?" He continued.

"Rush." She bit.

"Alright. I will be there soon." She heard the click of the phone. Lizzie sighed. Who the hell was this guy?

Danny lost track of time. Whatever drugs they gave him fuzzed up his vision and made it really hard for him to speak or move.

All Danny could think about was the look of desperation in the bubble gum lawyer's eyes. For him. Almost like she knew him.

Jackie had said that she thought the girl reminded her of Lizzie. Part of Danny wanted to believe that Lizzie was still out there somewhere. Snd that was not because of the fact that when Joe died the body was still beyond identification or repair despite one shot to the abdomen being the end of his life.

Both bodies were not recognizable, so maybe they were just fakes. Danny had considered that the first time around but had quickly dismissed the idea when his father gave him that disgraced look.

Maybe Lizzie was still alive. But if that were the case, she could be just about anywhere. She could be sitting in a cold abandoned warehouse in the darkness or striding around a free woman. Who knew.

He would hold out a very slight hope that his baby brother and niece would someday come back. His mother woild never come back. Danny had watched her slowly go, her body deteriorating.

At some point the car stopped moving. He had gone in and out of consciousness for a while. As a trained police officer, he knew he had to stay awake at all times to try to commence an escape.

But it was pointless. Danny was chained to the bottom of the van. He was blindfolded, his mouth was duct taped, and his hands and feet all shackled to the bottom.

Danny was angry. He knew he should use that energy to get himself out of this mess, but he had no idea what he was up against. Two or three men opened the back hatch and climbed in. "What do you think they're going to do with him?" One asked.

"Who knows," the other retorted. "All I know is that I'm going to go out for pizza and a beer tonight once we get the cash." The two high fived. "Care to join?"

"Of course! New York pizza is the best!"

Danny's head popped up on instinct. They were back in New York! That made all of this shit a hell of a lot easier! He was in a city where every single person on the streets would recognize him! Man, these people need to get their stuff straightened out.

The two man slowly started dragging Danny out of the car. Danny debated how to strike the guys so he could get free, but he saw no possible methods. He was still completely numb, and no doubt they weren't going to stop drugging him until they reached their final destination.

After being marched like a prisoner for a while, the two men released him and a door slammed. Danny stood there, still chained up like an animal, probably being inspected or whatever by the man in charge. And whoever the hell was in charge was going to get it.

"Strip him down." Someone ordered and he felt his jacket shrugged off his shoulders before his shirt and pants, being left in only his briefs and undershirt. He couldn't see, or talk, or move. "Put him up there and come with me. We have some more work to do first." Soon Danny was lifted up onto a chair of some sort before he felt his hands yanked above him and they hung him down from the ceiling.

Then the door slammed and they were gone.

"Are you Ms. Elizabeth Reagan?" The man with the sunglasses asked when he approached her. Lizzie scoffed, wasn't she still supposed to be the lawyer person? Lizzie nodded regardless, giving up on this whole thing. Her Uncle Danny was gone, Jackie got shot because of her, and who knows what else happened because she had to get the Reagans involved in her family affair. Her parents were dead! Her father was dead! And yet they were still after her...

"I need you to listen to me. That agent, the one who recruited you, she is a part of the bad guy group. She wanted you in that group so she could have a reason to kill you off and then bring you back as a sort of trophy to the Reagans... But that wasn't her only goal. This group of people wants to get all of the Reagans, including you, so that the Commissioner will agree to give up his position and jurisdiction."

"Well they already have Danny, and he is the greatest out of the three."

"Four. There are four of us."

"My Uncle Joe died in a shooting. I never met him, and from what I understand he died a hero, he was a cop just like all the rest of them. That's why Jamie dropped out of Harvard Law, to honor his brother that had died in the field. There are three of them left, and we cannot lose anymore." She looked down sadly. "It's weird how much I have grown to love all of the Reagans. They are the greatest group of people I have ever met in my whole life."

"They have that effect on people. And what about you? You're a Reagan."

Lizzie sighed. "All I have done is brought trouble to them. My mother got raped, that's the reason I am here! And she was afraid of him going after her so she got rid of me. Now Danny is gone... Joe is gone..."

"For the record, you did meet your Uncle Joe. He found out about you when he found pictures of you in your mother's drawer. He went straight to your grandmother and demanded answers. The next time she came to visit you, he came along as well. You were so cute with your little brown hair and brown eyes, running around, singing. You wouldn't let him go. You used to call him Uncle O.."

Lizzie gasped. Why had it taken her so long to figure this one out..? "Uncle Joe?" She couldn't help herself and threw herself at him, happy to have a Reagan to hug at the current moment. And then the waterworks started. Lizzie couldn't help herself. "I don't know what to do and Danny's gone and my mom is probably mortified and Jackie..." She said and hiccuped. She squeezed him as tightly as she could.

"Kid, take it easy. We got all day to talk about all of this stuff. We're here to make sure Jackie's okay."

"How do you know Jackie, exactly?"

He seemed to get a little pink when she asked him that. "She's a member of the Reagan Initiative. Look, I don't know how you got dragged into this mess. Once we're done here you are going back to stay with my dad and grandpa. It is safest for you there."

"What is this Reagan Initiative thing?" Lizzie continued, annoyed he was going to shut her out of all future plans because she was too young. He was probably right, she could not count the number of dumb things she had down while on this undercover thing. "Please tell me! I know there are dirty cops in New York and Chicago and they want to take down the Reagans... but what does that have to do with us?"

"We need to take them down and protect all of the Reagans in the process..."

"You're a Reagan!" Lizzie argued.

"Yeah! A dead one!"

"So am I! They cannot kidnap people who are dead!" Lizzie smiled, proud of herself for coming up with that one.

"Family of Jacqueline Curatola..." A nurse called out. Both Joe and Lizzie rose, looking at each other.

"She is probably high, so maybe you should not tell her you're Danny's dead brother."

Joe laughed. "Sure." He put his sunglasses on his face, and for some apparent reason she thought of Maverick from Top Gun. Joe did not seem to notice that Lizzie started humming Take My Breath Away on the walk to Jackie's room.

Seeing that she was still unconscious, Lizzie slowly walked in and sat down in one of the chairs. Joe did the same on the other side.

"Jackie told me she and her mom have a crappy relationship, and that she would do anything for the Reagans..." Lizzie looked down at her still body, bandages wrapped around her middle and a canula in her nose. "She told me she would be my cool adopted aunt. And what did I do? Got myself involved with an agent that is a member of the Blue Templar!"

Lizzie grasped Jackie's hand in her own before throwing her head down against the railing of the bed. Joe just sat there, the only noise in the room the sound of the beeper counting off Jackie's heartbeat.

"Secretary to the Commissioner. Baker speaking." Abigail greeted the person calling her on her office phone. She had a pencil and pad at the ready, to write down scheduling for the Commissioner, or perhaps a phone number for him to call?

"Ah good. Abigail. It's Joe Reagan."

"I am sorry, I am not sure I understand." Baker had been working under Frank for a long time now. She had seen his good side, bad side, and sad side, the latter of which was caused by the death of a certain son of his. She felt awful for him, watching him mourn his wife and then his son.

"Yes it is the dead Joe Reagan. Just believe me on this one. I am with Detective Curatola now, and we both agree you should be on our team for this."

"For what exactly?" Baker leaned back in her chair, eyeballing the door to the Commissioner's Office.

"The Blue Templar has spread to Chicago. That is what took Danny. You need to make sure all of the Reagans stay in one spot with police protection. These guys come in groups of ten or twenty. And you cannot say a word to any of them. It will put everyone at risk."

So will you join the Reagan Initiiave?"

"Yes." Baker declared. "I'll do it."

"What is going on Grandpa?" Nicky asked, watching her cousins, aunt, and great grandfather sit in her grandfather's living room. They all looked extremely worried. She didn't know where her uncles and mom were. And the last time that they were gathered like this, one of them had ended up dead.

Her grandfather just avoided her eye contact and looked away. "Is something wrong? Is everyone okay?" When he didn't answer Nicky's suspicions were confirmed. There was a chance she would never see her uncles or mom again. Nicky gulpled.

She had lost her grandma, then her uncle, then her sister...

Nicky gulped, holding back an urge to cry. She looked over at her grandpa, then over to the rest of her family. Her cousins appeared so carefree, and her aunt looked worried. She needed a hug...

Walking over to Linda, she sat down next to her aunt. She sighed. "Something is wrong, isn't it?" Taking a deep breath, she realized that she was on the verge of tears.

Her aunt nodded, patting her legs. Nicky laid her head in her aunt's lap, and let her aunt stroke her hair. It was then she gave silent tears for her mother and sister.

"Erin, where are you?" Jamie's voice rang desperately through the phone. He was getting worried that his sister wasn't picking up.

"I just got off a plane. I'm in Chicago. What's wrong?" Erin stopped at a booth in the airport to get a coffee.

"Danny got taken. The whole family is on lockdown. You need to get back here as soon as possible." Jamie was sitting in his car outside of his dad's house after finishing his tour. It was a miracle that her father hadn't sent headhunters after him and Renzulli right away.

"But if he was taken in Chicago, that means he is still here! We need to find him!" Erin argued, irritated her brother thought she couldn't take care of herself, like always.

"Er, this is the Blue Templar we are dealing with!"

"That's not a real thing. Grandpa used to tell us stories about that when we were kids.."

"Yes it is! They killed Joe! And there is a possibility they killed Lizzie..."

That got Erin's attention. "Does Dad know about this?"

"No. I got asked to join a task force by some red headed lady who approached me on the street. Told me Joe was involved was with them and I didn't believe them. Now I do. Since you're in Chicago, you should check on Jackie."

"Why? What happened to Jackie?"

"She got shot trying to protect Danny."

Jackie woke up several hours after her surgery. She looked over to see "Call me Joe" snoozing in one of the chairs, and the bubble gum lawyer grasping her hand, asleep with her face shoved into the bed.

Jackie coughed to cause a flood of nurses running into her room, adjusting her wires, asking her if she felt okay. Apart from it feeling like someone punched her in the stomach, she was fine.

Wait.

She was shot.

She had forgotten about that.

Her and Danny were- Danny. Her partner. Her best friend. She let him get taken... at least she had saved the lawyer.

The lawyer...

 _He said he wanted both of them._

There were two Reagans at that scene. One of them was gone, and she managed to save the other. At least that made sense now. She looked over at the girl grasping her hand and smiled. All the noise had woken her up.

"Lizzie?" She whispered.


	15. Chapter 15

"Lizzie..." she heard Jackie say her name. In a panic of being known, she raised her head from its position shoved into the bed. She jumped a little more when she realized that Jackie was awake and looking at her, the smile on her face completely evident.

Lizzie wrestled herself out of Jackie's hold and ran into the hallway, hearing Jackie call after her. She wasn't sure what she was supposed to do, was she still dead? Joe had made that one very unclear. The red head clearly had her own agenda with what she did, and had Joe known about this, he probably wouldn't have let her near it.

"Kid!" Joe screamed, not sure what to call her at this point. "Come back here!" She froze at the sound of her uncle's voice. "She wants to talk to you..."

Lizzie turned back around to see her uncle staring at her with his arms crossed. She stomped over like a kid that had gotten caught stealing a cookie from the cookie jar. "Aren't I supposed to be dead?"

"No Reagans are supposed to be involved with this project, do you understand that? Anderson took you because you are one of them. You are going to go back to being yourself after all this is over. Jackie deserves to know that you are alive..."

"What is myself Uncle Joe? What am I supposed to go back to? My parents are dead because your lady wanted them gone! I don't fit in with the Reagans at all! They are all cops and lawyers and they're all great at what they do. What am I good at? I couldn't even save my uncle... I let Jackie get shot for me..." Joe started pushing her back down the hallway and slumped, feeling like a prisoner.

By this time they were back standing at Jackie's doorway. Lizzie stood there, frozen in her own thoughts. About her mom, uncle, Jackie...Joe gave her a slight push into the room, and Lizzie's cheeks grew pink at the smile Jackie was giving her. She looked like she wanted a hug if anything. You just couldn't wipe the smile off of Jackie's face.

"C'mon Lizzie! You Reagans are supposed to be very good at hugging from what I hear!" The both of them laughed. Lizzie slowly made her way over to Jackie, and slowly gave her a hug. It was weird, she finally had someone calling her Lizzie again, even though it had literally been about a week since she 'died'. "I'm so happy that you're alive kid. I missed you... I think you've become my favorite Reagan..."

Lizzie smiled. "Well, I wouldn't be here if it wasn't for you. I got thrown into this mess and I didn't know what I was doing. They would have gotten me if you didn't shoot them."

"I'm not the one who shot the boss though. I have never seen that look of determination in anyone's eyes except Danny. You have that same look of pride and you didn't even flinch, shooting the guy and killing him. I think you're going to make a great cop."

"Woah woah woah, who said anything about me becoming a cop?" Lizzie crossed her arms in mocked sass and raised her eyebrows.

"Yeah... I'm still angry about Jamie- wait, you killed someone?" Joe asked, still leaning against the doorway. He furrowed his eyebrows at his niece. No one had told him that his niece had shot the man in charge without a single second thought. Jackie seemed to just notice Joe just then.

"Hey... it's Reagan Initiative guy!" She said, not really knowing what a big deal it was that he was standing in front of her at that current moment.

"Jackie... this is Joseph Reagan. My uncle." She introduced, waiting for the reaction from Jackie.

"Wait.. are you the dead brother?" She asked, clearing not thinking straight. Lizzie could tell she had way too much painkiller running through her system at that current moment. It took all of her strength not to burst into laughter at the face that Jackie was making.

"Yes, I am. But can someone please tell me what happened out there!" Joe demanded gently.

"I got surrounded because they wanted to take me too after Jackie got shot and she managed to shoot all of them except one..."

"The man in charge..." Joe finished.

"Lizzie finished him off. Really good aim. Another cop for the family perhaps?" Jackie raised her eyebrows.

Lizzie rolled her eyes. "No."

"Joe... did you find Danny yet?"

"No. We wanted to make sure you were okay first. And I have no idea where to start, all of the suspected places are closed."

"So... were those guys Chicago cops or New York cops?" Lizzie asked, still a little lost.

"No way to tell." Joe shrugged.

"But they weren't in a cop car, they were in a white van." Jackie pointed out. She was about to say something else but got cut off by the sound of her cell phone ringing in the bag where her belongings were all stuffed. She pointed at it and Joe walked over and pulled her phone out. "It's the Commissioner." He declared, handing her the phone. "We are not here. We were never here."

"We are both dead." Lizzie confirmed.

"Hello sir." Jackie greeted. "What can I do for you?" Joe and Lizzie both clumped around Jackie, trying to hear what he was saying.

"Detective Curatola. Good to know that you are alright. I need to ask you though, about what happened with Detective Reagan." If you didn't know him, you would think that he was completely fine, but Joe knew he felt absolutely hopeless because he had no leads on who took his son.

"I called Ms. Baker and informed her earlier of the situation and I am afraid I do not have any more information about it. Danny and I were at the Johnsons' funeral and we were ambushed, sir. They took him and left in a white van. They appeared to be Chicago police officers."

"I am going to fly out there as soon as I can." They heard from the other side of the phone.

"Sir, with all due respect, I don't think that's a good idea. Whoever these people are wanted Danny because he was a Reagan, and you should stay together with your family to make sure that everyone, including yourself, is taken care of. Detective Reagan will be fine. We will get him out of this."

"I want to trust you, detective, I do, but I want my son to be safe. I cannot lose another son." Jackie shot a look at Joe, who glared back at her.

"Sir, Danny is my best friend. I need you to trust me. I will bring him home. I have to go sir. I will be in touch." Jackie hung up nervously.

"Why did you hang up on him?" Joe growled. "Now he's going to get suspicious of you!"

"I didn't know what else to say! We can't say anything about the Templar, about you, Lizzie. We have no idea where he is and we know who took him and what else they want."

"He seemed worried about something else as well. I just don't know..." Joe rubbed his temples.

"Jackie! Thank goodness you're okay! Who are you?" Erin stopped in the doorway. Joe and Lizzie both immediately turned around and faced the opposite direction. Joe was quicker and threw his hood over his head and put his sunglasses on.

"I'm an old friend of Jackie's.." He said in a way too deep voice. "Bye Jack," He said, dashing past Erin without making eye contact as soon as he could. Lizzie on the other hand, was not as fast as Joe. She fumbled with her glasses and threw them on. She didn't have anything else on her and was still wearing her 'lawyer' clothes. She took a deep breath before turning around.

"Hello. Lawyer in training Mary Russell." She held out her hand out nervously. Erin took it, and they both thought the same thing, that the other one's hand was extremely clammy. Was her British accent convincing? Her mother hadn't known her for that long... but then again, they say that a mother can tell if it's her child anywhere. Jackie quickly caught on to where I was going, and jumped in.

"Ms. Reagan is an assistant district attorney in New York City. And she's one of the best ones there."

"Oh! How lovely it is to meet you! I lived in New York, studied at Columbia in fact. But I wanted a change of scenery, so I took an internship in Chicago. I was just thanking Ms. Curatola here," she motioned to Jackie. "She saved my life at that funeral. I was with her, further discussing the case, when these men up and attacked her. They took her partner, I'm afraid, and they wanted to take me hostage, but Jackie saved me. I am indebted to her. I would love to stay but I have to go to an appointment. I wish the best to both of you." Lizzie shuffled out of there as soon as she could, trying to avoid eye contact with Erin as much as possible. She knew that if she looked into her mother's eyes she would start crying.

She really needed a hug.

Realizing she had absolutely no idea where she was going, Lizzie threw herself in the nearest elevator she could find and pressed the button for lower level. The doors were about to close when someone shoved their hand through and the door reopened. Lizzie rolled her eyes just a tad when she realized that it was her uncle.

"I'm hungry. Wanna go get pizza?"

"Jackie, are you okay? Like really okay?"

"Erin, I'm fine. I know you are only here because you want to help Danny. And the only way you can help him is if you go back to New York and stay with the rest of your family."

"Why does everyone keep saying that?" Jackie looked away. "You know something don't you? Jackie, I'm a lawyer. I can tell when people are lying."

"Erin I can't tell you. It would put your whole family in more danger than they are already in. And I can't do that to you guys. I can't do that to Danny. I meant what I told the Commissioner, that I will bring Danny home, you just have to trust me."

"HOW CAN I TRUST YOU WHEN YOU ARE WITHHOLDING INFORMATION ABOUT MY BROTHER! HE COULD BE DEAD JACKIE! WHAT WILL YOU SAY THEN, HUH? YOU DIDN'T SEE JOE'S CASKET GET LOWERED INTO THE GROUND! YOU DIDN'T SEE WHAT WAS LEFT OF MY DAUGHTER'S BODY!"

"Actually, I did Erin." Jackie suddenly felt sick, nauseous. She started coughing hysterically in a struggle to clear her airways. She did not know what came over her...

Nurses started flooding in, shooing Erin out, and they helped Jackie calm down.

Erin simply looked down at her cell phone, hoping to see some kind of text from Jamie about what was going on. She left her alive daughter alone! For this! Grunting, she started walking towards the elevator, hoping to catch a bite before going back to get that information out of Jackie.

"Nothing! We have absolutely nothing!" Frank was going crazy, to say the least. It had been almost 24 hours since his son was taken, and everyone in the NYPD was on the watch, for nothing. Absolutely nothing.

"Sir... perhaps you should go home and be with your family." The rest of the Reagans apart from Jamie had went back to Frank's after Jack and Sean had started to play catch with a ball that almost broke the infamous 1 PP windows. At that point Linda said she would go home whether or not they would come with. So they had went on their merry way, with lots of cops stationed surrounding the house.

"No Baker I can't. I need to find my son. If that means we don't sleep, then so be it!"

"Sir..."

"I SAID SO BE IT!" Frank screamed. That made Abigail jump out of her skin just a tad. She hated seeing the Commissioner like this. It just was not right.

"I will be at my desk if you need me. I have a few calls to make." She quickly dismissed herself outside to her desk. She knew she should not directly contact these people while she was in 1 PP, but she did not know what else to do. Eyeballing the sticky note stuck to her monitor, she picked up her office phone and flung it around in her hands, taking a deep breath.

"This is Detective Baker calling. I was wondering if you had an update on the situation."

"Hello detective. I am sorry we do not. Is there a particular reason you are calling?" Joe's voice boomed through the phone. There was a lot of background noise, it sounded like they were at a restaurant or something of that sort. He didn't really seemed phased by the situation, and that irritated her just a tad.

"The Commissioner... I'm very worried about him. Unlike you." She added a little bluntly.

"I am worried, but I know that Danny is safe until they get their hands on another Reagan, which will not happen because they are all safe and under police protection. Am I wrong?"

"No, sir, but what about Erin? She is wandering the streets of Chicago on her own and she won't answer the Commissioner's calls."

"We have a view on Erin. We are watching her every move. We will make sure she stays save. For now, I think you should make sure that the Commissioner remains safe."

Joe hung up his phone, throwing his phone on the table. He looked over at his niece, not even attempting to eat but staring at a picture in her hands. He grabbed the picture to see a very young Erin holding a baby girl.

"Lizzie..." He whispered.

"I don't want anything bad to happen to her..." Lizzie sniffed, starting to cry just a bit. "I know I should be strong about all of this but I am not. I am terrified. They have my uncle, they wanted me, they want my mom... everyone is at risk!"

"Hey, listen to me. I meant what I said. They are not going to touch Danny unless they have at least one more Reagan to wager over. They are just bait for the Commissioner to comply with their requests." Joe knew he shouldn't have lied, but he didn't know how else to calm his niece down.

"I know you are scared. You have every right to be. Just say the word and you can be with the rest of the Reagans in a safe place. We can tell them you were kidnapped and your captor let you go after faking your death."

"Uncle Joe, with all due respect, I cannot just sit by and watch now. I have seen too much. I need to make a difference in this case, which is why-"

"Shhh." Joe cut her off, seeing an Erin Reagan strut through the hospital, looking down at her phone. She went up to the counter, buying herself food before getting herself a table.

Lizzie simply sighed.


	16. Chapter 16

Lizzie and Joe watched Erin slowly eat her meal. She looked really uninterested, like she was forcing herself to eat. In all honesty, Erin was just afraid she was going to collapse again. If she put herself back into the hospital she would never be able to find her brother. "She looks thinner than the last time that I saw her..." Lizzie whispered to her uncle.

"Well, since then she has lost a daughter and a brother. Eating is probably not one of her priorities at the minute. I wonder why she left Jackie though. Something must have happened between them. She is probably pissed about the fact that Jackie won't give her any more information on where Danny is or what she knows about it."

"Yeah... I know. So what do we do now?"

"You are going back to New York." Joe said for what seemed like the thousandth time.

"Uncle Joe, I told you I want to help! I am a legal adult, I can make my own decisions! You cannot expect me to just sit around here and do nothing!"

"We are not having this conversation right now. We are going to watch Erin and make sure she ends up back in Jackie's room. And then after that, we watch to see where she goes and see to it that she gets there."

Lizzie grunted in frustration. "What about Uncle Danny?"

Danny hung from the ceiling for what seemed like days. Most of the time he was left alone, staring at the gray walls. He was not the type of person to panic, he was rather calm. Death did not scare him. He had a close call with death when he was in the Marines, and ever since then he felt like he was just waiting for death to come find him.

Yes, he did want to see his family again. He had a beautiful wife and two beautiful boys. He knew he told his boys that he loved them, but did they really believe him? He was at work more than he was with him. And that hurt them and him as well even though they never said anything. Would they even really miss him if they were already used to not having him around?

That was his job. He loved his job. He loved putting the bad people away and seeing the good people go home safe. He loved Jackie, she was his best friend, almost like his sister. He had heard the gunshots. Was she even alive? Or was she just an casualty in this war for the Reagans?

The door opened and Danny looked to see one of the men in black walk in with a sandwich and a plate. He took a chair and stood up on it, holding up a sandwich to Danny's mouth.

Danny took a bite, and then spit it out all at the man's face. He took a deep breath before dropping the plate and grabbing Danny's chest. Danny let out a chuckle. "What are you going to do... kill me?"

"You think this is funny, huh? We need to keep you alive if we want to get what we want."

"Which is?" Danny asked.

"The boss to give us what we want."

"My father? He could care less if you kill me. He would pick his city over one of us any day."

"Exactly. That is why we need two of you."

"Jackie, I won't ask you again. What do you know about Danny's location?"

"I can't tell you."

"Jackie! I can and will prosecute you for withholding information about my brother. I trusted you. He trusted you. Are you a member of the Templar? Did you give him to them? Threw him away like he was nothi-"

"Erin! Listen to me! I am working with a special group to find him. And no one has any leads. That is the truth. I love Danny like he was my own brother. He is my best friend. And we will find him. I am begging you, please go back to New York to be with your family. What about Nicky? You left her like she was nothing to you. She is just as much of your daughter as Lizzie is."

"Why the hell did you just bring Lizzie into this? She is dead Jackie!"

"Because if Lizzie were still here you would be at her side. But since only Nicky is still around, you clearly do not care! You left her with the rest of the Reagans when Danny was taken. You weren't even thinking how that would affect her! She's probably scared out of her mind right now that you might be taken as well. Did you ever think of that Erin?"

Erin sighed, letting her eyebrows drop. Jackie was absolutely right. She hadn't been thinking of Nicky. Erin was positive that she was somewhere safe with Linda and the kids, but she was probably scared out of her mind. She knew that there were risks being a part of the Reagan family. Nicky also knew that her uncles and grandfather would protect her and her cousins first over themselves. But what kind of mother was she? She left her daughter's side. She lost one daughter, and this would probably let her lose the other one as well.

"You will call me as soon as you find out anything on Danny... okay?" Erin whispered to Jackie. Jackie nodded.

"I promise Erin. I will bring him home." I'll also bring Joe and Lizzie, she added silently.

Erin nodded before walking out of the hospital room. She took the elevator all the way down to the main floor and walked out of the hospital. She didn't notice Joe and Lizzie watching her from the windows.

"Jackie sent me a text. It says, 'I think she is going back'." Lizzie read. The two of them watched Erin hail a taxi and get into it. "Is she going to be okay?"

"I think so kid." Joe nodded. "There should be someone stationed at the hotel she checked in at this morning. They will report back when they see her come in." The two of them walked out of the hospital, knowing they would come back to get Jackie tomorrow.

"Have you ever seen a Broadway show?" Lizzie asked her uncle.

"Grandpa always used to take us when we were kids. Danny and Erin hated it, and Jamie and I loved it. My favorite show was definitely Lion King. I don't care how old I get. It's a classic."

"Do you want to go see it with me?" Lizzie smiled. "I mean, I know we should be focused on finding Uncle Danny, but..."

"Lizzie, he is fine..." Joe repeated. He knew he should try to at least get a start, but he had no idea where. His brother could have been anywhere in the country, it didn't have to be Chicago or New York.

"But doesn't waiting make it worst?"

"Yes, but in this case we know they are keeping him alive because they need him to lure in my dad..."

"But that doesn't mean they can't torture him. I have seen a lot of movies..."

"C'mon, let's go see if we can't get tickets for tonight's show at the box office." Joe said, cutting his niece off.

That might make him look bad to a lot of people, but Joe was like Danny. He needed an aha moment, or a sign to lead him in the right direction. And it would lead him to his brother.

But for now, hakuna matata.

"Um, excuse me, I think you passed up my destination." Erin said twenty minutes later. The cab driver was awfully quiet, usually they tried to at least strike a conversation to keep the meter going, but nothing.

The white man in the front seat looked in his rear view at Erin, and then back at the road. She took this as a sign. "Let me off here." She said, he ignored her. "Let me off here!" She screamed. He said nothing and locked all of the doors, leaving her banging on the windows.

The driver pulled over and looked out the right window to see two guys in black walking toward the taxi. One sat in the back and one sat in the passenger side front. Erin was about to punch him, but then she noticed the gun in his pocket. She shrunk back against the side of the car.

"Is this the one he wanted?" The man in the passenger side asked. The driver simply nodded and got back on the road. The man next to her smiled. He had rotted yellow teeth in places where he did have teeth.

Erin was about to pull out her cell phone and call 911 when the man sitting next to her stabbed her with a need and pushed the sedative inside of her, letting her eyes roll into her skull.

He threw her phone out the window and let it crash against the sidewalk.

"When are Dad and Aunt Erin going to be back? What about Uncle Jamie?" Sean asked his mother. They had been trapped inside of Frank's house for the last three days, and the boys were getting very stir crazy. Frank, Henry and Jamie had been meeting with Garrett and Baker in the office, despite Frank's wishes Jamie had insisted in being involved with the investigation. He was literally the one out of the four that was still standing. Three quarters were either dead, kidnapped, or MIA.

"Dad and Aunt Erin are in Chicago for work. Uncle Jamie is with your Grandpa at his office." Linda calmly responded for what seemed like the thousandth time. Nicky looked up from her book from where she was sitting in the corner of the couch for a second and made eye contact with Linda.

"What kind of work? I thought Dad was a New York cop..." Sean continued. Jack sighed. "It's a special thing. Come play video games with me." He moaned. He wasn't stupid, he knew something was up, but he knew no one was going to tell them what was going on anyways.

Linda scooted over next to her niece on the couch. It had been worrying her how quiet Nicky had been the last few days. She knew she was not her mother, she would never replace Erin, and didn't want to. But Erin was clearly not thinking straight when she dumped her daughter to go on a wild goose chase for her brother. She had always admired the loyalty between the Reagan siblings, but Linda's opinion was that Nicky, her child, should have came first.

"Your grandpa was not lying. As of right now we don't know if your mom is in trouble. And we don't think she is. She grew up with three brothers and a bunch of cops. She knows how to defend herself. And she's just plain badass."

"Why should I believe you? You're probably lying." Nicky sassed. It was true though, every time something happened to one of the Reagans, she was lied to, directly in the face, until after the fact.

"Because that is what he told me."

"And? That doesn't mean it's true! You are left out of the loop as much as we kids are... and you know it!"

"That is true. I am only a Reagan by marriage, not blood. And blood will always be thicker than water. Danny didn't even tell me he almost died in the Marines until ten years after the fact. And he wouldn't even had told me if I didn't figure it out when he went through some very post traumatic stress. No matter what, we are always left out of the loop by the people we love. It's their nature. It doesn't mean they love us any less. It is just what they do."

"When Uncle Joe died, this is how it was. We were all here, sitting on this couch, and then Grandpa walked in. I was sitting between Uncle Jamie and my mom, and then he just told us that he was dead. We are still on that couch, waiting for them to come back. And there is a possibility that they won't. And we can't afford to lose another Reagan. First great grandma, then grandma, then Uncle Joe, then Lizzie. We cannot lose anymore!" Nicky ranted.

"You are absolutely right." Linda said, wrapping her arm around her niece. "But no matter what, you will always have blue blood, and there will always be Reagans around to take care of you. Your uncle and mother will come back. They always do."

Erin woke up tied to a chair. "Danny?" Erin asked, looking at the half awake man tied to the other chair. He was stripped down to his undergarments and looked pale. He had scruff covering his face.

Danny slightly lifted his head, and jumped up when he saw it was Erin. "Erin?" He whispered.

"I thought I lost you!" Erin cried.

"Erin, I am so sorry for all of this. I am the reason you are here. Now there are two Reagans down."

"It's not your fault I am here. I needed to find you! I wasn't going to let Dad lose another son."

"You're my baby sister Er! It is my job to protect you! I love you!" Trust those two Reagans to turn a heart wrenching reunion into a blood war.

Their conversation was interrupted when three men walked into the room. Two of them wore black shirts, the men from the taxi, and the other wore a white shirt, Erin had never seen him before. "Hey boss, look what we got!" One of the guys in black pointed out.

The boss in the white shirt's face lit up like a tree at Christmas. While he was walking towards Erin with a bounce in his step, Danny watched his sister grew tight. He clenched his knuckles together, wishing he did have the super-strength of a superhero to protect his baby sister. But he couldn't do anything. He was helpless.

The man caressed her cheek. Erin bit back, looking very pissed. She squirmed as much as she could, but she was stuck stiff. The rope around her hands was so tight she could feeling herself losing feeling in her fingers. Her feet were tied to the legs of the chair, also too tight. She growled, trying to bite him.

"Finally, a Reagan capable of showing us how to have some fun." Erin spit at him. He just laughed. "I think that was her way of telling us she's ready to have some fun..."

Erin's face turned to one of fear. She looked over at her brother, a pleaded look in her eyes. "Tell Nick I love her," she mouthed. He nodded sadly, wishing he could tell her that everything was going to be okay.

"Boys, you know what to do." The man in charge said before walking out the other door. "I have to go get ready. I've been waiting for this for a long time." After the door slammed and the boss was gone, the two men looked at each other.

"I am an assistant district attorney. He's a cop. Together we will make sure you will rot in prison. But, if you help us, we'll make sure you get let off some." Erin pleaded. The men just shrugged, pulling the duct tape out of his pocket and breaking off a piece.

Erin was really panicking now, and she let out a panicked squeal. The guy attempted to put the duct tape over her lips, but she kept squirming. The other man just sighed. "I didn't want to have to do this. I hate needles." He pulled a needle out of his pocket and stabbed Erin.

Danny watched the light leave her eyes as she went limp. The other guy finished the duct tape job before untying Erin's legs and lifting her up bridal style. Danny winced a little when he saw Erin's arm hang down, realizing both of them were absolutely helpless in what was about to happen.

The man threw Erin on the bed. He stripped her, leaving her in nothing but her undergarments. He tied both of her hands to the headboard and sighed leaving her there.

 **the next chapter contains dark themes... you have been warned.**


	17. Chapter 17

**THIS CHAPTER CONTAINS RAPE AND TORTURE. IF YOU DON'T LIKE IT DON'T READ IT.**

 _Erin was in the school library. She had her college admissions test the next day and needed to study as much as she could. She wanted to study at Columbia to become a lawyer. Her parents had been more than happy when she told them she wanted to study law. Her older brother was serving a tour in the Marines despite her parents' wishes._

 _She sat there, reading her textbook, scribbling down notes. She had been asked to go hang out with friends that night, but she told them that she needed to study, and they had laughed at her and called her a nerd. But she didn't care. She knew she was a Reagan, and had to live up to that name._

 _Eventually, she felt someone's eyes on her. Scanning the library, she saw a guy about Danny's age staring at her, in a creepy way. She debated whether or not to ignore it, but then remembered how protective Danny had been of her when that one guy hit on her. She was overreacting, she could handle this herself._

 _She saw the guy walk up to her table. He smiled cheekily at her._

 _"Hi... my name's Ian. I was wondering if you would come with me for a drink tonight, and afterwards we can hit it up. I'll give you a night you'll never forget."_

 _Erin chuckled nervously. "Thanks, but no thanks. I have too much to do right now."_

 _"Are you sure? I'm pretty sure I could make it worth your wild..."_

 _"No. Please leave." Erin asked._

 _"And why would I let such a pretty girl slip through my fingertips?"_

 _"Because I am the daughter of a cop." Erin bit._

 _"Fine, fine, you win. I am sorry for trying to give you the night of your life." He shrugged before walking away. Erin sighed, leaning back. She picked up her pencil and continued to do her homework. He was just an ordinary guy trying to get his hands down someone's pants. Nothing unusual there._

 _Looking up, she relaxed realizing the guy was gone. She went to one of the bathrooms to do her business because it was a long drive back to the house. She finished washing her hands and was about to grab a paper towel to dry her hands_ _when she heard the door slam._ _Turning around, she saw the guy from earlier standing there with a gun in his hand._

 _So much for ordinary._

 _"Try anything and I will kill you." Erin panicked. She was the descendant of several cops, she was taught to defend herself. And she just froze._

 _"Take it off. Take it all off." He continued to point the gun at her. Erin debated whether or not she should scream, but his hand on the trigger meant business. "Well, what are you waiting for?" He asked._

 _Erin took off her sweater and pants, standing there in only her undergarments. He quickly handcuffed her hands to the bathroom railing, his hand firm on the gun._

 _Once he had put the gun down, Erin let out a bloodcurdling scream. He quickly smacked her across the face. He did not know what else to do, so he hit her with the butt of the gun, and she went out cold. "Stupid bitch." He muttered, pulling off her underwear and bra. He moved the handcuffs down to the floor so he could lay her down. He felt her body underneath his..._

 _Erin woke up naked later. He was gone, and she laid on the floor of the bathroom. She had a feeling she knew what had happened, and yet she was in denial. She dressed herself up and went back home. She couldn't escape the sick feeling piling up in her stomach._

"Erin never made it back to the hotel."Joe said, hanging up his phone. They were sitting in the intermission of the Lion King, and Lizzie knew the moment was too good to be true. Or, at least too good for the current circumstances. She jumped up and started walking towards the exit, pulling out her cell phone to dial Jackie.

"Hey Jack, do you know when you're getting let out?" Lizzie asked. Jackie was about to answer but Joe cut her off.

"We need her out of there now. We need to find Erin."

"Can we discharge her ourselves? Doesn't that process take a while?" Lizzie asked her uncle. Jackie rolled her eyes at the two of them fighting.

"I can be out in an hour if you can persuade the doctor."

"Oh, I'll persuade him alright!"

Erin woke up in a cold sweat. She automatically went to wipe the sweat off her face, but then realized she couldn't. Her hands were tied above her head. She also realized she was almost naked. She shivered.

"Hey there. Good to see your awake. I've been waiting for you." Erin immediately tensed up, seeing the boss man sitting next to the bed. "I've heard you can give me a really good time. Change my life."

Erin tried to squirm. Her legs weren't tied down. When he got up from his chair, Erin's muscles tightened. "There's just one problem." He motioned to her bra. "This has to go." He reached his hands out to unclasp it, but Erin kicked him. Hard.

"Woah woah woah. There's no need for that. You know you want this as much as I do." Erin didn't stop resisting, and much to her annoyance he just laughed again. "Well, I didn't want to do this, but you leave me no choice." Erin saw what was coming and clamped her legs together. "Come on..." he singsonged. "It'll be fun."

He stuck his hand in between her legs, and as a reflex her muscles loosened. He was able to grab one leg and tie it to one corner of the bed. Erin tried to save her other leg but he grabbed it as she swung it around, and gave it a squeeze before tying it to the other corner of the bed. Her stomach dropped when she realized her legs were now wide open.

"That's better. Although I really did want you to be able to contribute to this, I guess not. Now, where was I? We really don't need this." He continued to unclasp her bra, and she could do nothing to stop it. Pulling it off, he now stared at her bare breasts. He threw the bra on the floor before beginning to tug at her underwear. "You really don't need these either."

Erin tried to squirm but now she was completely tied down. She couldn't move at all. He pulled her underwear as far down as they would go before backing off. He let his robe drop to the floor. "Finally, time for some fun."

He stuck two fingers in to tease her, and her body responded, much to her dismay she let out a moan despite the duct tape still on her lips. "I told you we would have some fun." He put himself on top of her, running his hands up and down her breasts. "These are beautiful. You are beautiful." He ran his hands down the entirety of her body. She shivered, feeling the tears flowing down her face. She cried, the duct tape muffling her. She hadn't wanted to die like this...

Well, at least she would see Lizzie again.

"Don't cry, it's all going to be fine." He said before putting himself in her. She moaned. She hadn't thought she would ever relive this, the first time had seemed so bad... and she hadn't even been awake.

Erin spaced out for a while. She couldn't move, she was absolutely helpless as he continued doing whatever he wanted to her. "Wasn't that the most fun you've had in a while? Being single sure makes your sex life a lot slower. Or so I hear." He said what seemed like forever later. He got off of her. Erin couldn't twitch. She was numb. She was laying tied to a bed naked. And the boss man just smiled before leaving her there, all alone, the silent tears streaming harder than ever before.

"What did you do to Erin?" Danny yelled when one of the men came into his room later. He just smiled.

"I only work here, I don't know what goes on." The man shrugged.

"TELL ME WHAT YOU DID!" Danny screamed, his emotions taking over. He really wanted to punch the damn asshole who let his baby sister get raped again. He swore after the first time that he would make sure it never happened again. And he failed miserably. Again.

He couldn't hear what the asshole raping her was saying, but he could hear Erin's muffled screams and crying before she went dead silent.

Danny tried to squirm his hands out of the ropes, but they were too tight. He also tried using his momentum to swing himself from where he was hanging from the ceiling, but that didn't do anything either.

"Easy there tiger. You ain't going anywhere." The man smiled, looking amused by Danny's attempts to free himself.

"Erin! Erin!" He screamed. "Are you okay?"

Silence.

"What the hell did he do to her? I SWEAR TO GOD I AM GOING TO KILL YOU..."

"Can you keep it down in there? I am in the middle of something!" The boss man screamed from the other room. This only made Danny angrier.

"You sick psychopath of an asshole! When I get my hands on you you are going to wish you could die!"

"SHUT THE HELL UP! DO SOMETHING ABOUT HIM! MAKE HIM BEG FOR MERCY!" The boss man continued doing whatever he was doing. Danny was scared, if Erin was screaming then at least he know she was still okay enough to be conscious. But if she was unconscious, then something must have been wrong.

"Thanks for getting me out of there. The cable channels on these hospital tvs really suck." Jackie joked, knowing what had happened. There was another Reagan down. And it was Lizzie's mother. Joe told her she could not have done anything to prevent what had happened, but she knew she could have. She saw her mother that morning, and what did she do? Run out of the room as fast as she could have. She didn't even get a hug.

Lizzie sighed, looking over at Jackie. Her abdomen was bandaged, and there were several bandages on her face and arms, and she looked fine. She could tell though, that Jackie was not in a playing mood. She wanted to get those Reagans back as soon as possible. She felt tears welling up in her eyes, and quickly rubbed, but Jackie noticed.

"Liz, what's wrong?"

"My... mooommmm." She let out. Joe turned around, looking at his niece with concern. He quickly ran over to her other side, while he and Jackie led her towards the sidewalk, sitting her down. "Jackie, this'll hurt you." She sobbed. Jackie just continued soothing her, ignoring the pain in her stomach.

"I am fine. You are way more important than silly old me. Tell us what's going through that mind of yours." Lizzie plopped her head into Jackie's side with Jackie's arm wrapped around her. She knew she shouldn't have gotten so emotional, but the thought of her mother god knows where, or even dead unleashed her teenage hormones.

She then felt another arm around her, Joe. She was squished in the middle of the two of them. And it was one of the safest places she had been, besides her mother's arms...

Her mom...

"She could be dying, or laying for dead. Or dead. And she thinks I am dead. She'll never know how I truly felt. That I was so happy to finally have a family. All of the Reagans, and now you guys. She thinks I died hating all of you."

"Even with what happened, she knows you loved her." Joe started.

"I was trash to her. I tried to attach myself to Linda to make her jealous. What kind of daughter does that?" Lizzie whined in desperation.

"The kind that is upset that they didn't get to spend the first eighteen years with their mother but have them now that they think they don't need them. But they do need them. Even more so then when they were a child." Jackie supported, running her hand up and down Lizzie's back.

"What if she dies?" Lizzie looked over at her uncle with a sad expression.

"She is not going to die, because we are going to find her. Right now. Okay?"Joe got up and held his hands out to pull Lizzie up.

"Okay." She smiled sadly.

"Lizzie, you are one of the strongest people I know." Jackie supported, putting an arm on her shoulder. "I am so glad I met you... you're clearly the closest thing to a daughter I will ever have."

"Thanks for the support guys. You guys would make really good parents." Lizzie smiled, starting to walk. She could tell they had looked at each other embarrassingly, their faces turning into tomatoes.

Oh yeah, she shipped it first.

"So how do we find my mom?" Lizzie said, still not having turned around. She threw herself into the back seat of Jackie and Danny's NYPD cop car that the Commissioner had cleared for being taken out of state, before the two elders got in the front seats.

"We can try tracking her cell phone first. See where it takes us. Then check the hospital security footage." Jackie started. "Hopefully we can get some kind of signal." Jackie started fumbling with the buttons on the computer in her cop car. "It's connected to that cell tower, which means it is in that radius."

"Alright." Joe agreed, shifting his car into drive and driving down the streets of Chicago.

"Did you get the stuff?" The boss man asked from the other room sometime later. The idiot that was in the room with him had been going in and out, and Danny couldn't see a thing.

"Yeah boss, just getting everything ready right now." The idiot responded, clearly playing with whatever he had in his hands.

"I'm so excited! A date and entertainment."

Danny felt himself gag.

The idiot chuckled to himself before clipping things onto Danny's toes. He was still stripped down to his boxers and undershirt, not able to move or say a word.

He was getting electric torture.

In the other room, the boss man walked up to Erin, still tied up to the bed. She glared at him. If looks could kill, he would be a very dead man. "Hey there. We're going somewhere!"

Erin growled.

"Now remember, I have this lovely gun," He held up in his hand, "that I won't hesitate on using on Danny. Understand?" Erin nodded. She motioned to the ropes. He nodded, untying her hands and then feet. She went to pull up her underwear, but he stopped her.

"You won't be needing those. Here." He handed her a bath robe and pulled the underwear off her before she could do anything else. He cuffed her hands together before pulling her into the other room.

"Erin..." Danny whispered upon seeing his sister. It hadn't even been six hours and her face and body were covered in bruises, not to mention the robe she was wearing.

"Danny..." she mumbled back, seeing her brother attached to all of that electric equipment, hanging from the ceiling.

"Sit down." Boss man urged to Erin, clicking the gun in his hands to remind her who was in charge. Erin quickly sat. "Let the show begin."

The idiot who had set up the machines turned the knob. Nothing. Then pain started hitting Danny everywhere. He could feel it coursing through his arms and legs, his whole body shook.

"Give it a kick.' Boss man said, and he twisted the knob to see Danny shake twice as fast and his eyes slowly closing. He was giving up the fight. He looked at his sister, he was the reason she was in this mess, and now...

"Danny!" She screamed, jumping up from her chair. Danny looked at her, too pained to know what was going on.

"SHUT UP! Boss man retorted.

Erin's anger exploded. "You stupid son of a bitch!" She walked over to the man with the dials and was about to gain control of the device when another minion stabbed her just like that, catching her before she fell to the ground, her eyes rolling to the inside of her skull.

"Take her back and get her ready. I'll deal with her later. For now, I'd like my show." Danny watched as the two men stripped Erin of the robe and carried her away naked into the other room.

That was worse than any torture he could get.


	18. Chapter 18

"Special agent Joseph Reagan, FBI, Detective Curatola. We need to view your security footage." Joe flashed his badge, and Jackie smiled in approval. The man behind the counter nodded, shifting his monitor so that both Jackie and Joe could see it. Lizzie was chilling in the car, listening to Broadway tracks to finish calming her nerves.

"How far back are we going?" The man asked, clicking things with his mouse.

"To about ten o'clock this morning." Joe responded, as the man continued to click buttons. The man started speeding through it until Joe saw his sister's blue shirt and black pants outfit blur onto the screen. "Right there!" He pointed and the man paused it. The taxi she appeared to be getting into was a white sedan, the man seated in front not even moving his gaze.

"Can you get a license plate or taxi number?" Jackie asked him.

"The uh, taxi number is right there. Can you zoom that up?" The man clicked to bring up the picture. Much to his frustration, the numbers were too fuzzed to make out. "Is there another angled camera?" The man nodded, clicking another camera that took him to another angle, viewing the back of the car.

"These cameras are designed to read plate numbers..." The man mumbled, zooming into see the license plate, that read MVK 2525.

"There's a slight problem," Joe squinted to read the plate. "It's a New York plate, not an Illinois one." Jackie jumped to look at it as well and then shrank back.

"That means..." Joe started.

"Whoever owns it was here specifically to catch some Reagans." Jackie scribbled the plate number onto a sticky note she grabbed off of his desk and pulled the top one off.  
"Can you get a read on the plate?"

"Yeah. I know people. You find anything else, call me." He said handing the man his card before running off.

-

"Well well well, you've been a bad girl." Boss man slammed the door, jolting Erin awake. The drugs has given them enough time to get her back down with no chance of her moving a muscle. She could still feel it running through her veins because her vision was fuzzed and her muscles were still weak. She could see though, that he had something wrapped around his robe. She locked her muscles.

He ran his hand down her face. "It's a shame you didn't see the rest of the show, I think you would have liked it." Erin growled at him. "And that is why I think you need to be punished..." He shoved four fingers in at once, much to her discomfort. She jumped as much as she could at the sudden contact, not that she was expecting anything less.

He pulled whatever he had wrapped around himself off and held it in his hand. "It's a shame I can't have you on your back right now, but maybe later."

"Ralph!" He screamed. "Bring the phone in here!"

One of the men scurried in with a smart phone in his hand. "I need you to record this." He held the belt in his hand, before whipping it across her stomach. She jumped, but said nothing. He did it again, and she still didn't move.

He ripped the duct tape off her mouth. "I want to hear you scream." He said before whipping it across her abdomen, the skin quickly losing its color. After another 10 hits, she still didn't scream. She was clenching the pain inside of her, like she was taught to do.

"We need something else. Get a lighter."

-

"Let us be glad, let us be greatful, let us rejoicify that goodness could subdue, the wicked workings of you know who... isn't it nice to know the good will conquer evil? The truth will all be regal with our by and by. Outlive a lie... for you and-"

Lizzie might have been playing the music just a tad too loud. Had her Uncle Jamie been strolling, he would have ticketed her. People stopped and stared, but she didn't care. She needed to relieve herself, and singing was the only way she knew how to...

"NO ONE MOURNS THE WICKED! NO ONE CRIES THEY WON'T RET-"

Her Wicked moment was sadly intereupted when her phone cut off and started playing 'And All That Jazz' which was her personal phone's ringtone. She was still supposed to be dead, right?

She accepted the call despite the unkown number, she just had to. You always accepted them in the movies. "Hello Lizzie." Lizzie held her breath and was about to throw her phone to the wall and shatter it. "That's not a good idea... I have something you want."

Lizzie felt herself start shaking. She could hear screams in the background, that could only be one person she knew.

"What do you want?" She bit.

"You in exchange for her."

"What do I have that you want?"

"You're worth more to the Commissioner than this piece of trash. I'll let her go, if you give yourself up."

The line went dead.

"Did you get a name on that license plate?" Joe asked Jackie as she clicked keys on her phone on the way to the car.

"It's registered to a Ralph Rodriguez. Unemployed. Never had a job other than at the supermarket on 55th. 2011 Impala. The car was not a registered taxi. It was marked with these taxi things just to fool her."

"Check contacts."

"His twin brother Miguel was a rookie cop for a year before being kicked off the force."

"What did he do?"

"Shot without justification on multiple occasions. Commissioner said he could walk free as long as he never touched a gun again. Took jail time for assaulting an old lady at the store where he works."

"So these two brothers are a part of the plan... they might have been the ones to abduct her. The only visible proof we have right now is skin cooir. The man on the tape was dark. There was only one there that we saw, but the other might have been picked up later. I just don't know why Erin would get in. She was taught to look for these things when we were kids..." Joe rubbed his temples.

"I think she was too distracted by other things... this has all been really rough on her. But we are going to get her out of this." Jackie put her hand on top of Joe's before realizing what she did and pulling her hand away with a red blush.

"While we cannot get a tracker on the car if its not an actual taxi...we could however look at security camera footage to see where it went... but that's a long shot. Are there any hunches as to where they are?"

"I checked all of the possible places. They could be anywhere... they probably fled the city and are halfway across the country by now."

The two of them were now leaning against the car, wanting to finish this conversation before getting into the car. They could hear Lizzie's music blasting, and her dancing along confirmed that she was in her own little world.

"What if those guys have a place that we might be overlooking?"

"I checked Joe... neither of them own a place outside of New York!"

"Credit card records, phone records... Jackie we need to think this through!"

Jackie took a deep breath. "Okay. First we call Baker and tell her to check those residences in New York. Then we look through the numbers and find something."

Neither of them heard the door slam over the loud Broadway music. Then there was Lizzie, looking pissed with her arms crossed, right in front of them.

"Teach me how to fight." Lizzie demanded.

"What?" Joe asked, not sure he had heard her right.

"Uncle Joe, I need you and Jackie to teach me how to fight. I need to be able to defend myself and put down the bad guys if I am going into the field."

"Woah woah woah, who said anything about you going into the field? I told you, you are staying right here at headquarters..."

"You want me to sit back and watch you and Jackie rescue my mother and my uncle? Yes I know that you are closer than I will ever be to both of them, but she is my mother. Because of these idiots, I did not get to grow up with Erin as my mother, and that is why I need to take them down."

"Lizzie, this is not about revenge! This is about saving Erin and Danny before they get killed."

"You say that like you didn't fake your own death just so you could leave!"

"I wasn't the one who made that decision! I was shot in the field and the FBI took me away and told me Joseph Reagan had died to the rest of the world and that I had to work for them!"

Lizzie did the only thing she could do, which was run right at Joe to take him down. Joe didn't even flinch, and one handedly flipped Lizzie onto her ass on the ground.

"You do not charge at someone if you want to bring them down. What if I had a knife? It woulda been very easy to stab you and finish you off."

Lizzie growled before letting out a sob. "Lizzie what happened now?"

"This happened." She held up her phone, bearing a picture of Erin tied to a bed completely naked, the skin on her stomach cut into bloody gashes. "He said he would let her go if I gave myself up."

"Lizzie that is clearly a trap."

"I know! But he does not know that I am not as stupid as he thinks. All I have to do is get in with enough time to disarm him before you guys come in."

"Lizzie that is definitely out of the question. You are not getting near this place." Jackie jumped into the conversation, knowing Joe would eventually give in because he was desperate.(and hard-headed, just like Danny...)

"We will just do what we always do... charge in and threaten them with a gun. Usually works."

"Yeah? And we if they shoot Danny or Erin when they see you coming?"

"Why do you want to do this in the first place? This is not a game Lizzie!"

"You think I don't know that? Their lives are on a very thin line here!"

After a moment of silence, Joe took a deep breath. "You said you wanted to learn how to fight... I will not put you in the way of danger, but let me at least teach you the right way." Joe volunteered.

Lizzie smiled.

-

"Detective Baker." Baker answered her office phone. She could still hear Garrett and Frank arguing in the Commissioner's office- they had been in there for the last two hours about this case and it didn't seem like it was going to end anytime soon.

"I have some anonymous information for the Commissioner... we believe Ralph and Miguel Rodriguez are involved with the kidnapping of Detective Reagan. Their residences are in New York, we suggest sending a team down there."

Baker sat there, frozen. The news about this case was completely classified other than NYPD staff members... unless...

"Mr. Reagan?" She questioned.

"This is anonymous..." He hung up.

Yup, definitely Reagan.

She pulled the information about the two brothers up before printing them and walking into the Commissioner's office.

"Sir."

Frank looked up from where he was sitting, across from Garrett. His eyebrows dropped at the look she was giving him unintentionally, the i-have-info-one-of-your-kids-is-hurt look.

"Baker."

"There was an anonymous tip that these two men are involved in the kidnapping of Danny." She handed him the file. "I believe they said something about sending a team to their residences." She turned around to leave.

"Baker..." Frank started. "Any hints on who left the tip?"

"No. Not at all." Baker walked out, quite possibly the quickest she had ever shuffled out of there.

Frank sat back in his chair, wondering what the hell had just happened. No one had knew about this other than his family and selected NYPD staff members. How the hell had he gotten an anonymous phone call to go to a place?

It must have been a trap. This was the lure to get the Commissioner up and listening. The likelihood of his children actually being in there were nil. Just a group of bad guys getting what they wanted.

-l

Erin was on fire.

Literally.

They had found a way to get her to scream.

Erin had read dozens of death reports... it only took 30 seconds for someone to fall unconscious when they were lit on fire, and their skin would peel off later...

It only last about twenty seconds before someone threw a bucket of water on her. She coughed due to the difficulty she was having breathing; the skin on her abdomen was now a nasty color.

Erin was so confused. Why didn't they just kill her then... it didn't make sense...

The boss man came back up to her, his belt in hand. The first time it came down she screamed. Her skin was already burning, and it hurt ten times as worse now. The second time it was even worse... third time she felt herself slipping away into the darkness.

"Did you get the videos?" Boss man asked.

"Yeah. I have a question though. Didn't boss just want you to bring her to him? He never asked you to do any of this..."

"He doesn't know how to make Frank Reagan desperate. Besides, I couldn't not have a little fun while I had the chance."

"Won't he be mad once he finds out you almost killed her...?"

The apparent boss man took a deep breath, as if trying to figure out what he was going to say. "I didn't almost kill her. I simply recorded a video in which she appeared to be on fire. If that video gets sent to the Commissioner, he will be desperate to get her back and make this whole process quicker." Boss man seemed satisfied with what he was saying, like it made sense in his mind.

"I am so lost." Ralph stated. "What it is in it for you having her here?"

"It will help bring an old friend of mine back around."

"Old friend?"

"We're much closer than that."

-

"This is headquarters?" Lizzie asked once he opened the door to their apartment. She had abandoned her undercover apartment, getting some clothes and toiletries, mainly because she wasn't in the mood to do anything else.

She wasn't complaining about the living area, that was fine, but there was only one bedroom and a couch.

"This is my apartment. I have lived here for a year."

"What were you doing before that?" Lizzie had to ask, knowing she probably wouldn't get an honest answer.

Joe shrugged. "It's classified. I was relieved off of duty when my assignment was placed on hold, waiting for the case to reopen, so I lived here for a bit. That's why there is only one bed. I didn't have any company..."

Lizzie mocked a sigh of shock. "No lovers? You must have gotten lonely..." She smirked at her uncle, who had gotten red. Jackie looked like she was trying ridiculously hard not to laugh.

"You could have picked any place in the world, why Chicago?" Lizzie asked after a brief moment of silence, the three of them lost in thought.

"I had a certain niece I needed to watch over."

Lizzie felt tears in her eyes. She was getting so tired of crying. She knew that her uncle had known about her, and the two of them had met once when she was a child, but she never realized how much her uncle cared about her.

"I also used to go see all of her shows... My personal favorite Broadway show was always the Sound of Music. The version I saw... The girl who played Leezl was absolutely incredible." He walked over to one of her drawers and pulled out a stack of what seemed to be play programs rubber banded together. When he handed them to me I soon realized that they were programs from every show I had ever been in.

"You've been to every single one of my shows?" Lizzie asked, flipping through the programs. She stopped when she saw her student director biography she wrote in the eighth grade next to a picture of her, brace face and double braids.

Hi! I'm Lizzie. I have been participating in theatre since I was three years old. My favorite show was probably playing Little Red in Into the Woods Jr. in the sixth grade. In high school, I look forward to participating in choir, showchoir, and all of the theatre programs. I would love to pursue a career in theater, and hope to visit Broadway sometime soon. New York is the greatest city in the world. Look for me there someday!

"Of course. You are family. And we support family through thick and thin, no matter what."


	19. Chapter 19

"Unit is entering the building."

The group shuffled into the building, shields and guns in their hands, vests wrapped around their stomachs. They didn't know what they were looking for, just that it might have been loaded with explosives and it should be cleared.

Three sets of stairs to go.

Two.

One.

"NYPD! Open the door!"

Silence.

"NYPD!"

And then the door went down.

The crew scanned the unseeming living area. It seemed as if everything was put away as if for a vacation.

"Room is clear!"

"Clear!"

"Room is clear!"

They weren't sure what to look for. One of the men started looking through all of the drawers, hoping to find a reason for having come here. He had to drop everything for this mission which they were given no information about...

Drawer with kitchen utensils...

Drawer with silverware...

Drawer with playing cards...

The next drawer he found was completely empty...

Except for a confirmation email for a flight to Chicago ORD...

"Guys! I found something!"

-

"Lizzie! Stop giving up so easily!"

"This must be what it feels like to die. Goodbye world. Goodbye family. Goodbye Jackie!"

Jackie rolled her eyes, standing above Lizzie with one eyebrow raised. "You said you wanted to learn how to fight... you can't do that if you let me win!" Jackie offered a hand to Lizzie and helped her up.

"I know. I just have always let other people dominate me. It's one of my worst traits."

"You're an actress. Didn't you always have to compete for parts?"

"No. I wasn't afraid to sing my heart out for an audition."

"This is basically the same thing. You can't be afraid to fight. If you put up a fight, you have a better chance of winning."

"No guarantee."

"You're right. There is no guarantee. But you have to at least try. If I point a gun at you, what do you do?"

"Act scared until you have convinced them that you are not capable to fighting back. Then fight back."

"And if they knock you to the gro-"

"-swing your legs to knock them over and gain an advantage. Jackie, I am inconfident, not stupid."

"I just don't understand how you can claim to be inconfident." Jackie crossed her arms. "You are an actress, you memorize thousands of lines. Don't you ever forget them on the spot?"

Lizzie frowned. It had happened one time... one time had ruined her whole character...

"Yo Lizzie. I am sure you have slipped up while performing. It is a part of becoming a better performer. You can screw up while we are praticing. It is fine. But one slip up, out there, and you're dead. You say you're inconfident, and yet you shot a guy square. You saved me and yourself."

"Yeah but that was because you shot everyone else first! What if you were not there? Then what would have happened? You would have died, and I would be with Uncle Danny and my mom, wherever they are!"

"Lizzie..." Jackie sighed, walking over to her. "You can't let your emotions ruin you. You have to use them for good. Fight me... think of the guy who took your uncle... how do you feel about him?"

"Like I want to step on his face and squish his eyebrows and crush his skull." Lizzie growled.

"Now, look at me. I am that guy."

Lizzie ran up towards Jackie and swung at her. Jackie responded, and she could see that Lizzie's natural reflex was up at work. Pretty soon though, she had toppled Lizzie to the ground again.

"Better." Jackie agreed.

-

"They found something sir. The suspects had airline tickets to Chicago five days ago."

"That was right around the time that Danny was taken. Now we know they are in the same city. Have you heard from Detective Curatola?"

Baker didn't respond, giving Frank a confirmation on his decision.

"I'm going to Chicago. Baker get my chopper ready."

"Sir... that is a major risk." Baker started. "You need to make sure this city stays in one piece, and you know that there is a chance that whoever has your children wants you."

"Well what am I supposed to do? It has been five days since I heard anything about my son! His children are asking me where their aunt and father are, and we have to lie to their faces and tell them that they are save! What about Erin's only living daughter? Staying at my house with my father, wondering why her mother hasn't called and if she is still safe! What if my daughter isn't safe either? I already lost one child, I am not losing another two!"

Baker sighed. "Sir... I'll go. And I will report to you. Please don't leave the city. The city needs you!"

"My children need me!"

"The eight million people of this city need you to keep them safe, and 35,000 NYPD police officers need a leader."

"Baker... I am the boss here."

"All due respect sir, I am your secretary. And I have enjoyed every moment that I have served under you sir, but I will walk if you don't let me go instead of you."

Frank sighed, walking over to the window to look at his city. He loved his city more than anything, except his family. The NYPD was also his family though. Baker was one of the best, no, the best secretary he had ever had... and he didn't want to lose her. He didn't, however, understand why Baker was so firm about this. "What does it mean to you, Baker?"

Abigail sighed. "I have seen a lot of things sitting beneath you. I have seen this city almost crumble when you were weakened, I have seen it mourn the loss of its own cops... but I have especially seen it change for the better while you were here. I also know how much it hurt you when you lost your son. And seeing you hurt hurt me as well as every other person in the force. I need to do what I can to help sir, and if that means leaving my desk, then I will surely do it."

Frank took a deep breath, stuck his hands in his pockets, and turned around to face her. He didn't like how everyone else was trying to prevent him from getting his kids back. "Fine. But you are talking the copper and four other detectives."

Baker sighed. "Fine."

Frank motioned to the door. "Well then, go ahead and get ready."

Baker walked out to her desk. She turned off her computer, put her pencils and papers into the drawer, and stepped back. Opening the other drawer, she pulled out the pink sticky note with the phone number on it.

She pulled out her own cell phone, sending a text message to that number.

I am joining full time. Be there in 2.

-

"You know my father's secretary?" Joe asked, sitting next to Jackie and handing her a sandwich and beer.

"The blonde? Heard of her, never met her." Jackie started unwrapping the sandwich, eyeballing Lizzie taking a snooze on the couch.

"I contacted her a few days ago to make sure my father stayed away. Something must have happened for her to suddenly decide to drop everything and come here."

Jackie nodded. "She will probably tell us the whole story when she gets here." The two of them sat in silence, picking at the food they were only eating to keep themselves going.

"How is my niece doing?" Joe asked, watching his niece's stomach rise and fall.

"I don't know. How do you keep going after losing both your parents and watching her real family apart?"

Joe sighed. "I can imagine Linda is trying to stay calm for the kids, Nicky is trying to get my father to tell her what's going on and he won't crack. I don't even want to think about Jamie. He's probably fearing being the only of the four of us left."

"But he's not. He has you, and Danny, and Erin."

"You don't have to lie to my face Jack. I know you're losing hope. I am too. But we need to stay strong- for some people pretending to sleep!"

"Damn it." Lizzie mumbled, turning around to face them. "I thought you needed to take deep breathes to make it believable."

"I am an FBI agent. You nodded off for five minutes and woke up and readjusted yourself. You've been awake since."

"Do you have nothing else better to do than stare at me sleep?"

"It is a big part of being an agent to observe all of your surroundings at once without being caught."

"Uh huh." Lizzie agreed. She would not say what she was really thinking, that she knew she was not a cop and that he did not need to lie to her. But she would never say that one to his face.

"Being inconfident will never help you succeed." He said and she growled at him being able to read her thoughts. It was too crazy for her liking.

"I-"

"Lizzie, you should realize that I know what you're thinking. That you are useless in this situation- but that's not true. You are right here besi-"

Joe's phone rang just then, signaling Baker's arrival. Him and Jackie rose, rising to meet her at a coffee shop down the street, leaving Lizzie to pick at her cuticles...

Again.

-

"WHAT THE HELL DID YOU DO TO MY SISTER?" Danny screamed. He was more scared than ever now- he had heard her screams... and they were the most terrifying screams he had ever heard.

"Not much. She was just in the moment... she was on fire!" Boss man smiled at him. She had gone dead silent, again.

"Let me see her!" Danny demanded.

"Why should I?" He asked, studying his nails as if he didn't give a shit. And he really didn't.

"Because I will give you what you want."

"And what is it that I want? How would you, the highest rated detective in the NYPD, son of the Commisioner, know what I want?"

"You want to talk to the Commissioner. You want power. You have us. That's your advantage. But he won't give you anything if you kill another one of his children." He gritted that last part, directly accusing him and his people of killing Joe.

He had put the pieces together. They had been planning this stunt for a long time now, they had a large following... they had been the ones to try to lure Joe in to use him as a bait, but had shot him when things had gone wrong.

"You think I killed your brother? The FBI one?"

Danny scoffed. "Yeah you did! In cold blood too! He never worked for the FBI. You've got your info wrong."

"I am sorry to burst your bubble, but he's alive..."

"That's a sick thing to say man... especially when you were the one to kill him."

Boss man simply growled, stepping back to click a few buttons on his phone. "He has been trying to hunt my group down for years. He is head of the anti me group."

"How do you know this?"

"Cause my wife was working for him."

"Woah... you have a wife? Does she know that you like to rape assistant district attornies in your freetime?"

"As a matter of fact, she does."

"You're sick man."

"Whatever you say. Insulting me won't get you any closer to your sister though..."

Danny took a deep breath. "Please man. She's my baby sister. Give me five minutes."

Boss man nodded. "Fine."

-

"Detective and Secretary to the Commissioner Abigail Baker. It is a pleasure to meet you. I have heard such grest things about you... my condolences to... you?" Baker reached her hand out to the Reagan agent.

"The pleasure is mine. Any friend of my father is a friend of mine."

"Your father is a great man. It is my dedication to him that has brought me here. To get his children back." She glared at Joe. "All of them."

-

Danny growled at the man who untied him from the ceiling, dropping him abruptly. His feet were still tied, so there was not much he could do to help himself stand.

The man simply grabbed him and pulled him upwards and pushed him towards one of the doors. The door opened, revealing a smiling Boss man wearing nothing but a robe. Danny felt the pit in his stomach grow as the urge to launch himself at the bastard grew as well.

"You've got five minutes. Don't try anything smart," He said, clicking the gun in his hand and letting the other man give Danny a shove into the room, leaving him to lose his balance and collapse on the ground.

"What was the purpose of that one, boss?" Ralph asked.

"I am feeling generous. Besides, we won't need him anymore once we get the other one." He chuckled, admiring the gun in his hand.

"Erin?" He questioned, crawling over to the bed, the only object in the gray room. He used the bed to help himself stand, and it was then his heart shattered into a million pieces.

There laid his sister, roped down to a bed, completely naked. There were what seemed like whip marks across her stomach, which in total looked an awful color. There were bruises lining her entire body, and the smell of burning skin filled the air.

His hands were still tied behind his back, he wasn't sure what to do... he used a method he once learned to get his hands out of the rope, involving dislocating his wrist and putting it back in, giving him free use of his hands. He stroked the sweated hair out of his sister's face, feeling her jump at the contact. She opened her eyes, then closed them and he saw her limp her muscles.

"It's me, Er." He whispered. She let out an awful sob. "I am so sorry I couldn't protect you."

"D...d... Dan-" she tried, but he shushed her.

"Don't try to talk. You'll suffocate yourself. Did he..."

"B...b...burned...alive..."

He felt his heart break, right there. This was his baby sister. His only sister. Closest to her in age. The first one to come out after him. The first one he got to pick on and argue with."

"T...t...tell...N..Nicky...I...l..oo-"

"Erin, listen to me, we are going to get out of here. I just don't know how yet. We need to distract them...and.."

"Dying..." she murmured, tugging at the restraints on her hands.

"No... Erin!" He yelled when he noticed her eyes starting to close. "ERIN!" He screamed, grabbing her arm and squeezing it. "Listen to my voice... stay with me now!"

Silence.

The door opened and Ralph and Boss man both walked in.

"What did you do to her?" Boss man asked, giving Danny the dirtiest look a man could give. Cause he was the bad guy here.

"I was not the one who burned her alive!" Danny argued as Ralph grabbed his hands and yanked them behind his back even tighter than before.

"We need to fix her!" Boss man continued, walking over to her. "I cannot give them a dead one!" He worried, rubbing his hands through his little hair.

"Maybe you shouldn't have killed her before you suggested that." Danny spat, Ralph pulling him back.

Boss man just smiled. "I could kill you right now. Because as much as I love having you around, I now have a Reagan of much more value..."

"Who?" Danny asked.

"Your niece." 


	20. Chapter 20

Lizzie did not understand why she was the one who got to sit around and do nothing all of the time. It was boring. They were wasting so much time. Getting the address was simple...

The man had called her on her cell phone. She was not stupid, she knew that if they had used their own phone it would be so she could find them and pretend to be dumb enough to go there on her own. If they didn't want her to find her, they definitely would have used one of those disposable ones. She watched enough crime drama to know.

She knew they wanted her. She also knew, however, that if she wanted to get in, she would have to go alone.

The thought had been going in and out of her head for a while now. It was dangerous. It was a risk. She could never come out. She didn't know what she was doing, at all...

But she couldn't let Jackie or her Uncle Joe go in there. The bad guys would kill them on the spot.

That's when she decided she would take matters into her own hands.

"So you are telling me you have absolutely no information on the whereabouts of your siblings?" Baker questioned, the disgust evident in her voice.

"It's not like they are floating a blimp that says... 'Reagans are here!'" Joe sarcasmed in a way that reminded them all of Danny.

"We know that the Rodriguez brothers are involved. They are with the rest of the group... we don't have anything else..." Jackie added, a frown forming on her lips.

"You don't even know who is leading the group? What their purpose for this is?"

"We suspect it is the Blue Templar. Their purpose is to get the Commissioner to give up his position and gain power in the NYPD." Joe said, giving Baker's confirmation on what she already knew.

"They want Frank." She murmured several times to get the idea to stick in her head. "Aha!"

"What?"

"That means the perpetrators are possibly on leave from the NYPD... that shortens the list of suspects! We need a computer!" Baker jumped up from her chair, startling both Jackie and Joe. "Come on! I have access to every NYPD file there is!"

So Jackie, Joe, and Abigail made their way back to Joe's apartment. Lizzie was using the computer, trying to find the cell phone tracker that she needed to get the address, but she couldn't find what she was looking for.

"Lizzie!" Jackie called out when the door slammed. She quickly closed the tab and went back to the She Loves Me soundtrack that she was listening to while playing spider solitaire.

When the three of them showed up at the door to the study, Lizzie simply waved, feeling her face getting hot.

"Hi... I'm Lizzie..." she greeted, standing up to walk over and shake Baker's hand.

"Wait... dead Lizzie?" She looked over at Joe and raised her eyebrows.

"Yes. But now is not the time. Use the computer." He guided, and Baker sat down, pulling a flash drive out and sticking it in. Suddenly tens of NYPD tabs opening, filling the screen. They appeared to be lists of suspected Templar members with a picture of each one.

"How do we narrow it down?"

"Any way to cross check people on vacations to suspected Templar members?"

"Yes." One click gave them four names and four pictures. One was in Germany, one was still in New York, and two were in Canada...

It was when Lizzie saw the red headed man that she remembered the red headed woman that had dragged her into this mess. Her Uncle Joe had said she didn't work for him anymore... did that mean she was in jail for breaking the rules, or she was working even higher up... Lizzie didn't know.

Should she ask them?

"Hey gu-" Lizzie started only to be cut off by Baker.

"Did you check with Chicago PD for their list of possible threats in the police force?" The look shared between Jackie and Joe gave Baker confirmation. "Well then, let's go."

"Uncle Joe... what happened to Agent Anderson?" Baker and Jackie walked out of the room, and Joe looked irritated at her asking.

"She left her job for undisclosed reasons."

"Was she a bad guy?"

Her Uncle didn't answer her, and that left Lizzie a tad pissed. He said they were on the same side yet he wouldn't even give her a real answer.

"Reagan! Let's go!" Baker called from the other room.

"Lizzie. Stay here." Joe ordered before walking out. Once she heard the front door slam, she flopped herself down in the office chair where she once sat.

How could she find out what had happened to the red headed agent? She worked for the FBI, there was no way for her to get any access into those files, even if Baker had left the flash drive in the computer, which she hadn't.

She rubbed her hands up and down her face, not having any idea what to do. She needed a sign.

Then the phone started ringing.

"Lizzie..." Was the only word that came out of Danny's mouth. They hadn't confirmed that they were talking about that niece, heaven forbid they were talking about Nicky, but he had had a feeling. He knew since he saw that "lawyer".

His niece was very much alive.

He had wanted so much in that moment to just hug her. But he couldn't let Lizzie get involved with any of this. He had hoped letting her out of there would have somehow kept her safe from the line of fire. If she was working undercover then surely she had some form of protection. He was not going to blow that cover.

What was he even fighting for anymore? That's what Danny wanted to know. He had run to Chicago to find out what had happened to his dead niece's parents, who had probably been murdered by her biological father. Then her father had been found dead. Then he was kidnapped by a ton of fake cops. Then his sister was too.

And now his niece.

"You're lying." He spit at the boss man. "My niece is dead."

"Actually, I already called her. She's on her way over here as we speak. She's really missed you, Uncle Danny."

That certain redheaded female did not like orange jumpsuits. It had been almost a week, why hadn't her husband paid bail for her yet?

She really hated the color orange.

Joe Reagan claimed she had committed fraud... all she had been doing was talking on the phone with her husband... who just happened one of the men trying to take down a couple of the Reagans at a funeral. Nothing wrong with that.

"You're one of them!" He had hissed after pulling her down to the ground. "I trusted you with everything I have, and you're one of them!"

"You stupid son of a bitch," she had retorted. "Can't you see that the Reagans are going down? All of them are slowly going down... there is nothing you can do about that."

"Just tell me this." He had asked after getting off of her, leaving her handcuffed laying face down on the floor. "Did you even love your husband?"

"No." She spit out. "He was a son of a bitch. But he threatened to kill me, so I did what he said."

She shook the thoughts away. The bail was a million dollars. There was no way that she was going to be able to get out. Her so called husband would never save her. He was too wrapped up in his own thing, trying to be the man who saved New York from a so called corrupt Commissioner.

The truth was, she had loved her husband. She had loved him 20 years ago when they met. When he was a cop, after he was fired. He went crazy, obsessing himself with the NYPD. She knew that eighteen years ago he had raped a woman and let another man take the fall.

When she started working for the FBI, that was his doing. It was all his plan.

She had never wanted to do it. He threatened to kill her so many times.

What was she going to do now? Newsflash, her knight in shining armor wasn't coming.

"Hey!" She screamed to one of the guards. "Tell Reagan I'll talk."

"Hello?"

"Is this Joseph Reagan?" The man on the other side of the phone asked. Lizzie immediately began getting an anxiety attack. She didn't know what was coming over her...

"This is his secretary. Whom may I ask, is calling?"

"The Chicago Jail. The suspect most likely involved is saying she wants to talk."

"Mr. Reagan is a very busy man. He won't be back for a few more days. Let me talk to him. I'm Reagan's right hand man after all..."

What the hell was she even saying? She couldn't sit across from the person who had probably been the reason that her uncle and mother were missing, and that Jackie had gotten shot. It was most certainly the reason she had been 'killed'.

Wait a minute, could this be-

"It's a her. And you have to have a valid ID proving your identity and connection to Mr. Reagan. Otherwise it is a no-go. You have a nice day."

What was this guy's definition of nice?

He had figured it out. It had only taken him five hours to figure out how to make sure Erin wouldn't die...

He would call a doctor!

Not just any doctor though...

"Everything you see in that room is completely confidential. Do you understand?"

The man almost looked like a villain. With what was remaining of his hair bright white, and the wrinkles on his face, he looked like a mad scientist from the movies.

He didn't know what he was doing here anyways, so he simply nodded, grasping his briefcase in hand very carefully. Walking into a bare gray room with nothing but a bed made him absolutely sick.

It made him even more sick when he saw the woman tied down to the bed. Was she even alive anymore? He couldn't tell if she was breathing just by looking. Putting his hand to her neck, he sensed the weak heartbeat. She could still be fixed. At least physically.

Pulling out a cream, he began sterilizing the rashes on her stomach from the whip with alcohol. The woman felt it, for she started whimpering softly, but he shushed her. That must have made it worst, because then she started trying to kick him.

"Whoa there! You can put those kickers away. I'm a doctor. One who is here to help you."

Erin was just plain confused.

"I'm the guy they hired to make it look like this never happened. That you were never raped. Believe it or not, that part was not apart of the great plan to take down the NYPD. This guy was just the collector."

Erin nodded, looking like she was in a lot pain because hell she was.

"I'm going to fix you up. Then we'll talk about your plans for the future."

"You are most definitely not Joe Reagan. But you are most definitely his clueless niece. What do you want?"

Even though the redhead was handcuffed to the table, Lizzie was still hella nervous being alone in the same room as her. It was an interrogation room, sure, there were people watching this whole thing on a live camera, ready to attack if something happened, but she still had a pit forming in her stomach. She gulped.

"Your help. You see, I don't know much about how your life looks from here. But I do know that you have a better chance of getting a little better of a sentence if you tell me what you know."

"Do you think its that simple, girl? I am just going to give you all the answers? I am still going to go to jail for the rest of my life for this, no matter what I tell you."

"Okay then. But you can still tell me why you "killed me", made me your puppet doll, and then kidnapped my mother and aunt, and then tried to kidnap me?"

"I don't have to answer to you."

"You called because you wanted to talk Anderson! I am not the one who made that call! You did! Which means you know what a deep pile of shit you are in, and that you are desperate to do some good to equal out all of the bad!" Lizzie was now pacing around the room, her hands were shaking, and she was on the verge of tears.

"Alright, I'll tell you what I know." She mumbled.

If this guy was trying to get Erin to trust him, he was doing a hell of a good job. Mostly because he actually respected her... enough to give her some clothes. He even offered to look away, but then they both realized Erin was too weak to put the clothes on herself, so he helped her. And as he did, he asked her if she felt comfortable.

She hadn't felt this calm in weeks! Must have been the drugs. Erin honestly didn't care anymore if he was drugging her for a purpose other than to kill the pain. She was done trying to fight this. She didn't really know what was in store for her at this point in her life.

"There you go." He lightly grasped her lower back, helping her to balance as she put her legs one at a time into a pair of pajama pants.

"What is the point of all of this? He's going to rape me again anyways." She started pacing around the room, trying to regain feeling in her legs.

"He couldn't even if he wanted to. It's time he shipped you to the next place."

"What exactly is this next place?" She asked.

"I don't know much. I just know that you are bait for the NYPD. I honestly don't know anymore than you do."

"So are you one of them or not?"

"No, I'm not. I'm a doctor. An actual doctor. One that wants to save lives."

"So what are you doing here?"

"I may have had my medical license revoked for a little misunderstanding. No hospitals or clinics will hire me. So I run off of a Craigslist ad, and people contact me when they don't want to go to a medical office because they don't have insurance or whatever."

"And they just let you in here? How did they know you wouldn't be revolted by what you saw?"

"I signed a contract stating that I was not allowed to say anything about what I saw. Besides, the guys out there have torture machines... and guns... I got the message pretty clearly."

"Are you married? Any kids?"

"I used to be. Wife took the kids and left after I left my job. Two girls, one was five and one was nine at the time. I never got to see how they grew up."

Erin took a deep breath. "I am a lawyer... I can help you find them."

"Not when they will kill me the minute I walk out there. I'm not stupid. They wouldn't want anyone knowing where they were keeping the ADA that has been all over the news for weeks."

"I'm all over the news?"

"Yeah. Your father is really desperate. And I think that I know how to get us out of here."


	21. Chapter 21

To the reviewer who commented about seeing She Loves Me- I ENVY YOU! I love Laura Benanti and wish I had gotten to see it when I was in New York for a school trip- we saw American in Paris, not bad, but not Benanti!

This spiked my heart rate tbh.

"My husband has always had a grudge against the NYPD. They fired him without a second thought and Frank Reagan never even looked at him. He always made remarks about how all of the Reagan children got exactly what they wanted from their life because he thought that it was because they were the Commissioner's children. I never thought that that was true, I saw the way Danny Reagan worked his way up to the top, he wasn't given any special treatment."

"Then why did you crash a car into me?" Lizzie spit.

"My husband.. had a cruel way of doing things. We were married in the spring of 2000, he got let off from the NYPD in 2001. After that, he told me I needed to work for the FBI. I told him it was crazy, I had no credentials to get me up there. I have spent every moment since then doing everything he asked. I had no choice."

"Seems like you had a choice to me. You could have walked out that door any moment."

"Not when he tracked your every move and killed every person that disobeyed him."

"So then why are you agreeing to help me now?"

"Because this is the end of the line for me. I'm going to rot in prison for helping a man I stopped loving a long time ago. I wanted kids- I'm never going to get them. I wanted to grow old with someone, I'm never going to get that either. You deserve your mother. You deserve your mother and sister. I had none of those."

"Were you a-" Lizzie stopped to take a deep breath, "foster kid?"

Anderson let out a breath. "Yeah. And when David found me on the street, I was so desperate for love... I didn't see him for the monster he was."

"Wait, your husband... what is his name?"

"David Marks. I think I know where he is, too."

"So how are we going to get out of here? What is your genius plan?"

"Well, how would they react if I told them you were dead?"

"Probably bad. You did say I was their 'prized possesion'." Erin made a disgusted face, scrunching her nose. "I just don't understand how I got here. I always felt so safe, my brothers and dad and grandpa always protected me, now I'm here, a ragdoll."

"I am going to get you out of here. I'm going to get you out of here even if it involves me dying!"

He started towards the door and began screaming. "Come here! Come here!"

"You are not dying for me! Get away from that door!"

"Lizzie! We're back! We brought dinner!" Jackie tossed the keys onto the counter and slammed the door behind her, almost hitting Joe, but he of course laughed,

"I brought you your favorite! I made Jackie get you the cheese fries just like you like them! Well, you liked them when you were three anyways..."

"Don't listen to him Lizzie! I would do anything for you!" She screamed loudly, the happiness in her voice evident. Baker had told them to take a two hour break while she called the PC, and they were a little too happy about it.

"Two whole hours! I can watch Lion King!" Joe mused.

"We are not watching Lion King! That movie makes me cry!" Jackie pouted, glaring at him. He glanced down at the tv remote before looking back up at her.

That's how they ended up on the couch wrestling for the remote. Jackie went around the couch and attacked him from behind for it.

Somehow, they ended up looking at each other, smiling. Ten seconds later had Jackie kissing Joe Reagan.

Jackie pulled away, the blush in her cheeks evident. "Lizzie is awfully quiet..." the two of them paced into the office, to find it completely ransacked.

Joe fumbled, seeing his bugs sprawled on the ground among other things. He flicked the mouse on the computer and his eyes widened.

"She went after them."

Lizzie walked towards the entrance of the abandoned warehouse, her heart pounding in her chest.

She could, and probably would die.

And yet she continued walking.

She stood in the front, trying to look busy, when two of the men noticed her and decided to open the door ten minutes later.

"Yes, we got her!" One said.

"Boss will be so pleased!" Went the other, reaching towards her. Lizzie froze and let them lead her in, not even putting up a fight. She felt herself begin to shake, the panic going through her veins and making her numb, no going back now.

"Should we put her with the girl or guy?"

"Girl. That is what she is, isn't she?"

The men tried to find weapons on Lizzie, but didn't notice the mike placed in her ear that allowed everyone else to hear everything... or the gun in her ankle for that matter.

"Lizzie?" Danny let out when they walked into the room where he was with her hands behind her back.

"Uncle Danny! You're okay!" Lizzie squealed. She knew that they had told her to be quiet and not say anything, but she had an idea.

"Shut up! Stupid bitch!" One of the guys walking her through said.

"Uncle Danny I love you!" She yelled, and one of the guys hit her across the face. She sobbed, holding her hand where he hit her, like it had really affected her or something.

Once they had reached the door to the room Erin was in, they stopped.

"Should we tie her down?"

"Nah. She's too stupid to do anything."

They pushed her in and let the door slam behind her. Walking past the man sprawled out on the ground, probably dead, made her feel a little sick. When she saw her mother tied to the bed, completely knocked out, she felt herself vomiting.

"Mom...?" She asked. Her mother looked so pale, she looked like she was on the verge of death. She wanted to give her mother a hug, but didn't know how to. Her stomach had turned a shade of yellow, the gashes streaks of dry flood.

Her mother, quite frankly, looked like she was going to die.

Lizzie lacked to notice that the boss man had his own door into the room and had been standing there for a while. He crept up behind Lizzie, and jumped around ready to shoot him, but he was too quick and pushed her down before she could. She fell to the ground. He took the bug out of her ear and shoved it into a pillow to muffle it out.

"We have to go now, before they find us."

He motioned to the two other men, telling them to be quiet. The both of them began untying Erin and picked her up. The boss man himself picked up Lizzie, and exited through the other door.

"Shit! Everything got quiet. We gotta intervene!" Jackie squealed, the two of them sitting a car outside of the warehouse. Being hooked up to the bug had helped them know what was going on, at least a little bit. It broke her heart that Lizzie had gone off and done this without telling them, but she also knew that the two of them would have never allowed it. Jackie had argued that they should call the CPD, or at least Baker, but Joe had insisted there was no time, hence the two of them were sitting in anxiety.

"No! He might kill them!" Joe argued.

Jackie ran out of the van and started running towards the building with her gun at the ready. She kicked open the door to see Danny, still sitting there all tied up. The other men were nowhere to be found. The silence that surrounded them was unnerving.

"Jackie?"

"Danny! Are you-"

"They left! And I am pretty sure they took Lizzie and Erin with them!" Jackie nodded and untied him before continuing to wander through the place. She kicked down the only other door in the place to find an empty room. She noticed the bed and felt her stomach drop. Erin...

"Should we see if we can get any DNA from this?" She noticed the bug shoved into the pillow and pulled it out with a sigh. They never expected him to run with them. How could they have been so stupid?

"Who the hell are you?" Jackie heard Danny scream in the other room.

Jackie walked over to see Danny in an intense stare-off with Joe, who broke it off to look at Jackie.

"Did you find anything?"

"No..."

"Hey, good to see you awake." The boss man greeted Erin once she was awake. She winced, realizing she wasn't completely uncovered and was handcuffed.

"We had a little bit of a problem where we were. It's all good though. We are going somewhere new."

Erin's eyebrows dropped when she noticed her daughter, her dead daughter, laid across the back seat asleep. Her hands were handcuffed as well, her hair was now blonde and short...

...She was that lawyer...

"Aren't you so happy I found her? It's sad we missed eighteen years of her life."

Erin tilted her head. She must have heard him wrong. He said we.

One of the men opened the latch and door. "We are here."

"Sir, we found where your daughter and son were." Baker reported to Frank, after getting the call from Jackie Curatola. Now she was standing in the lot of an abandoned warehouse with a group of Chicago cops who were scrounging the lot even though they had no idea what they were looking for.

"Good to see you, detective." She greeted Danny, who had Jackie wrap bandages around his center, as well as other places where bruises had begun to form.

"Likewise. Good to know I didn't die in the gray warehouse hell. Problem is, these bastards still have my niece and sister. They already broke my sister, and I will be damned if I let them break my niece as well."

"Let me talk to him," Frank dictated, a little desperate to hear his son's voice. It had been a week since he had seen him last. He had to watch Linda lie to her children every night and tell them their Daddy was going to be home soon, and Nicky was a completely different story.

She knew her mother was gone. They had tried to lie to her, for a while, but she didn't believe them. She wore the same heartbroken face Linda did.

Jamie was not sure what to do with himself. He wanted to believe his siblings were not dead, but he was having a hell of a hard time with it. There had been four of them to start with, and as far as he knew, the youngest one was the only one left standing.

"Dad..." Danny started, his father's presence on the other side of the phone making him tear up. He was so afraid that he would never see Linda or Jack or Sean again... his brother, his sister... his father...

"Danny, are you alright?"

"Dad... I love you..." he faltered, the tears falling down his face. "Tell Linda I love her. I'm going to be home soon..."

"Danny, if you're thinking about joining the case..."

"Dad, please don't try to stop me. They have Erin and they have Lizzie."

"Lizzie...?" His father questioned.

"She's alive, Dad."

Lizzie woke up to being handcuffed to a wall.

Well, there had been worse things, right?

"Hey there, my daughter..." greeted "David".

Now things were just getting plain weird. "My father is dead. Your wife shot him." Lizzie bit.

"That man was not your father." Lizzie just stared back at him.

"You see, your mother always thought someone else was your father. She thought the man who had trapped her in the bathroom and knocked her unconscious was the one who raped her. But she was wrong. I am your father Lizzie."

Lizzie just sat there.

"You see, your uncle always thought that the Templar would take a bunch of Reagans hostage to get leverage over the Commissioner. And that would make a whole lot of sense. But, I always had a better idea in mind."

"Raping them?"

"No. Everyone knows Frank Reagan's softest spot is for his daughter. And making her vulnerable, giving her unbearable pain, watching her suffer... that is what would bring Frank Reagan to the table."

"I was a mistake..." Lizzie mumbled.

"Yes. You were just a flaw in the plan. Taking you would have secured Frank's agreement."

"And what would you have done if I wasn't born?" Why was she suddenly upset? She could feel the tears forming in her eyes. Her biological father just completely rejected her. And told her she was a mistake.

"Kidnapped Erin, made her mine. Danny was just the lure. We didn't need him."

"But my uncle is the best detective in New York City. He tracks down people like you for a living. And he does a hell of a good job of it."

"People like me? You make it sound like I did something wrong. You see, there is a specific way of having sex. There are certain things you have to do." He walked over to Erin, who was laying down, handcuffed to the wall of the empty room. She seemed conscious, but she also seemed frozen.

"Please don't." Lizzie begged. "Please don't do it to her again, she has suffered enough."

"Honey, it is a life skill..." He said, already in the process of ripping the robe she had off, then he began on her underwear. Lizzie saw the desperation and weakness in her mother's eyes. She was trying so hard to fight him, she did not want her daughter seeing this. The duct tape thrown across her lips made it impossible for her to converse. Lizzie knew she was on the verge of death.

"Rape me instead."

"It's not rape if you consent to it."

"Well I consent to it." Lizzie mumbled. She stood up, ripped her shirt off and unzipped her pants, letting them fall to the ground. She stepped out of them, standing in only her undergarments.

"You're brave, I'll give you that, but what does this prove?"

"It proves how stupid of an idiot you are." Lizzie grabbed the gun that blended in oh-so-well with her black bra and shot the guy in the abdomen, just like that. The men behind her just froze, not really sure what to do in that moment.

"Get back! Get back or I will shoot you all!" None of them moved. "Up against that wall, right now." The men slowly started moving back, mesmerized. When Lizzie turned around to see what they were looking at, she realized what the big deal was.

The leader of the Blue Templar was standing right in front of them.


	22. Chapter 22

**this chapter is mostly family fluff, but the next ones will be wrapping up this plot, and then I will decide whether or not to continue Lizzie's story.**

"You have a bit of explaining to do!" Danny screamed at Joe and Jackie once he hung up the phone with his father.

Jackie frowned at him from where she stood in middle of Joe and Danny. "Is this really the right time? Your sister and-"

"Jack, this has nothing to do with you. Actually, it does... how long have you been lying to me? How long have you known that my baby brother was alive? We buried him, Jackie!" He took a deep breath before turning to his brother. "And you! How could you lie to your own family? We put you in the ground!"

"Danny, I promise you I'll explain everything. But right now we need to focus on finding Erin and Lizzie."Joe ran a hand through his hair. It was then that Danny noticed that his brother looked older, more stressed. He hadn't seen him in years, but the hairs on the top of his head were thinning and there were a couple of white ones. His forehead wrinkles seemed to clench together to show how scared he was. His brother was definitely not the same person he was before. That slacking baby brother of his was nowhere to be found.

"Well where do you think they're heading?" Danny asked, blinking at his brother, as if to make sure he wasn't hallucinating that his brother was really there, standing in front of him.

"New York seems like the most obvious answer." Joe said, darting his eyes from Jackie to Danny. Baker stood in the corner, her arms crossed, watching the two brothers converse.

"So what are we going to do?" Danny asked. "Any suggestions would be most helpful!"

"We are going back to New York!" Joe answered. Or at least, that sounded like a good plan in theory. The truth was, the three of them were stumped. Were the perps really that stupid to go right where the most people would recognize the two Reagans?

"What is that noise?" Baker interrupted, hearing voices coming from the other room. There was no one else there, they were pretty sure.

Jackie whipped her gun out from the holster and started slowly progressing towards the office. The other three followed behind her, as if they were expecting someone or something to drop from the ceiling.

Jackie, with her gun in one hand, opened the door to the office. She didn't lower the gun when she saw that there was no one in plain sight.

It was the computer beeping.

"I thought he yanked the tracker out of her ear..." Joe started, looking at the red pinpoint on the map.

"No. There's another one. She has another one!" A slight smile formed on Jackie's face as she clicked with her mouse, bringing up another map. "It activated because they are now out of the state."

"Does it say where they are?" Danny asked, trying to get a better view of the screen.

"Yes. They're moving. They are taking the bend to New York!" Jackie dictated, feeling a little proud that Lizzie was thinking more like a cop-agent. She clearly learned from Jackie herself on that one, genetics aside.

"Sir. It's Baker. We have confirmation that the perpetrators are moving in a direction towards New York. We have their current location and have a live feed of exactly where they are." Baker reported back to Frank over the phone.

"Come back to New York. And bring my son with me," was his response. She could almost imagine him. He was sitting in his office, in his chair, pretending to be perfectly fine.

Baker knew he was not perfectly fine. But she had a feeling in her gut that soon everything was going to be okay. She bit her lip, but then decided that it was not her place to tell him that he would be getting two of his sons back. "Yes sir."

"Well, let's go." Danny lead, Jackie yanked the laptop off the desk and went to grab her secondary gun from where she had hidden it underneath one of the floorboards. It was then she realized that it was gone.

Lizzie.

It was almost funny how Lizzie had stopped at this exact gas station a little while ago to get gummy bears and get away from the snoring man she was forced to sit next to on the bus. Now, sitting tied down to the ground, with no light, she felt the exact same way she had felt that day.

Helpless.

Alone.

But she was most definitely not alone. She had a family. There was a whole family of Irish alcohol drinking cops with a couple lawyers in the mix. They were hers. They were her family.

She loved them more than anything.

She really wanted some gummy bears.

Her mother was somewhere in the back of this van too, knocked out. At this point Lizzie was not sure if she was passed out from pain, or drugs, or from the way the man had smacked her in the face.

The Blue Templar man had just looked at her with a nod and walked out. What was that supposed to mean? Where were they now? Were they back in New York? How long had she been unconscious?

"Lizzie..." She heard a murmur from the other side of the van. She let out a deep breath.

"Mom..." she whispered. "Are you okay?"

"You're alive..." Erin mumbled back. "I thought you were dead. I thought you were dead, and that I failed you."

Lizzie took a deep breath. She felt the tears appearing in her eyes. "You didn't fail me. Meeting you was the greatest thing that has ever happened to me. You gave me life. So what if we missed the years together. Now we can be together. Just you and me and Nicky and Uncle Danny and Aunt Linda and Uncle Joe-"

"Your Uncle Joe is dead, sweetheart." Her mother grunted, trying to reduce the pain that seemed to be spread throughout her whole body, finding a somewhat comfortable position seemed impossible.

"He is alive, Mom. He was the one who protected me all of this time."

"He did a lousy job. Look where you are." Her mother responded. She just sounded so sad... defeated. She was giving up. She grunted as her body hit the ground of the truck with a thud. So much pain...

"We are going to get out of this Mom. You have to have faith. You have to believe that we will get out of this. You cannot lose your hope."

"Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference." Her mother responded.

Lizzie crawled around, the tape tied around her hands the only obstacle in her way. She found her mother. She wrapped her arms around her the best that she could.

"I love you Mom."

"How I love this city..." Danny mused once he got off of the private helicopter that belonged to the PC. Behind him was Jackie, and then Baker.

Frank stood and watched as the three people he recognized made their way over to him, followed by another man. He was clearly under too much stress, because that looked a lot like...

"Dad." Danny greeted, almost throwing himself at his father. He was just so glad to be home.

Seeing Linda out of the corner of his eye, he ran towards her, and the moment froze as she opened her arms to engulf him. He was okay.

"You're here! You're alive!" She squealed, letting the tears fall. "I thought I would never see you again!"

"I am right here." He responded, happy to hold the love of his life in his arms again.

"Sir." Jackie greeted Frank, shaking his hand.

"Detective Curatola. It's good to see you."

Jackie turned around to look at Joe, walking towards them. "It's good to see you too sir. There is someone I want you to meet." Jackie looked over at Danny, who lead Linda back over to Frank.

"This is Joseph Reagan of the FBI, formerly NYPD. I believe you knew each other a long time ago." Both Jackie and Danny smiled, watching Frank and Linda's eyes go wide.

Frank was speechless.

Linda on the other hand, ran at Joe and gave him a hug. "It's good to see you." She mused. He smiled, he was halfway there.

Frank still hadn't moved. He just stood there, staring at Joe. Like he had forgotten what Joe had looked like. Like he would disappear if Frank blinked.

Linda released Joe from the hug, and the whole group turned to look at Frank.

Joe nervously held his hand out. "It's an honor to meet you again, Commissioner."

Frank slowly held up his hand and put it into Joe's, giving it a shake.

"It's good to see you too, son."

"Get them out!"

Lizzie lifted her head up from where she had shoved it into her mother's side. Her mother was asleep again, after shaking for thirty minutes. Lizzie had no idea what to do. She had to be the strong one for her mother. She was the reason her mother had to go through this.

She was the reason her mother was raped the second time around.

She was just a mistake, a flaw in the plan.

One that was never supposed to be born in the first place.

Three men opened the back of the van and Lizzie squinted as her eyes adjusted to the light. She had completely lost track of time. Could they just kill her already?

"Ah, yes, the famous Francine Reagan... or should I say... Lizzie? I've heard many things about you." was the greeting she received from the Blue Templar man once they dragged her and her mother into yet another conveniently placed abandoned warehouse.

"Like what?" Lizzie sassed, surprised they hadn't run at her and were letting her stand free with her arms crossed. The big mob of people standing in front of the door with guns was the answer to that question.

"Smart. Funny. Good with a gun," He motioned to the dead man on the ground. "I have to say, I wasn't really expecting you to shoot your father and almost kill him."

"Biology is just science." She said, looking at her mother, still laying there on the ground. "He may be the reason I'm alive, but that does not mean that I will grow up to be just like him."

"Don't you see it Lizzie? You are already just like him. You would kill a man and not look back."

"What is with all of the questions? Is this some sort of game? What is it that you want? You have your ransom! Why don't you just call up my grandfather and tell him you'll make him a deal...that's what all of this is, isn't it?"

"What exactly does Frank Reagan have that I want?" He asked her.

"I don't know... the NYPD in his hands? A whole city of people who listen to him when something goes wrong...?"

"The Blue Templar is not just a rebel cop group, it's a vision. New York needs to break free... to be treated with a different pair of hand gloves. And you, my dear, are going to help me."

"I thought that was kind of the point. You would use me to get my grandfather running. I thought we already discussed this."

"No. I want you to join me."

"Join you? As in, join the Blue Templar?" Lizzie let out a snort. Were these men really from Mars?

"No, Lizzie, I want you to become the new Commissioner." What kind of idiot would want an eighteen year old drama major to become the public face of the NYPD?

Well, she could rock a damn showface...

"The tracker stopped moving." Jackie announced, walking over to where the three Reagan men were huddled by Frank's desk. "They're in an abandoned warehouse in New Jersey."

Baker walked into the office, her iPad in hand. "You just received a video message, sir." She held out the iPad for all of them to see, and pressed play.

"Hello Commissioner." David greeted. "Or should I say..." he paused to wheeze, his voice already weak. "Daddio. You know, your grand-daughter is my daughter... so..." The background of the video showed arguing. Lots of arguing. The camera shook, and another man appeared on the screen.

"No more nonsense Commissioner. Come meet us to discuss the plans... we will have plenty of company." The camera shifted to show Lizzie and Erin tied up in the background.

"Oh no! Come save us!" Lizzie squealed, all those years of acting actually making her seem authentic. "Grandpa please!"

"Lizzie is great at acting." Joe commented. "She should pursue Broadway."

"She is not acting! She's terrified." Danny argued, looking at his brother as if he were an alien.

"Danny, Lizzie isn't a little kid anymore. She stopped being a little kid the day her parents were murdered in front of her face. Then she was kidnapped and lied to, and all the family she had just discovered disappeared."

"Look where she is right now." Danny growled. "She could die!"

"She threw herself into the fire because she thought she could handle it. That was her choice. As her uncles, we do our job to protect her, and save her. Which is what we are going to do."

"You say that as if you think it's okay that she is there right now!" Danny exasperated back. The calm look on his brother's face was driving him absolutely crazy.

"So, is Broadway before or after her NYPD tour?" Jackie jumped in, seeing the tension forming between the two brothers.

"No." Both Danny and Joe said in perfect sync. After looking at each other, Danny turned back.

"So what now?" Danny asked, looking from his brother to his father.

"What the hell is this?" And then there were three Reagans. "Is this some kind of sick joke?" Jamie bit, looking at Joe. "This cannot be possible! You're dead!"

"This is something I never thought I would see. All three of my boys are together again." Frank mused, so quietly he thought no one could hear him. He was just in shock, seeing the three of his boys together again. He supposed he should thank God, he brought back two of his angels from the 'dead'. His granddaughter was the strongest of the Reagans.

All he could do was hope his girls would come back safe.

Danny heard his whispers and the smile on his face grew evident as he got to be in a group hug with his brothers for the first time in years. His heart skipped a beat, however, at the thought of his sister. She deserved to be in this hug too.

"Let's go get Erin and Lizzie."


	23. Chapter 23

"Do you have a clear view of them?" Joe asked, peering through the front window of the white van, where Danny and Jackie were sitting with their sunglasses on their faces, peering ahead.

In front of the door were two grungy looking men, holding their guns out as if to frighten the NYPD cops. They started advancing towards the van, as if suspecting that THEY were up to something.

How preposterous.

"Commissioner Reagan of the NYPD." Frank identified himself to the men. The two Reagans and Jackie turned their heads to see Frank standing there with his arms up in the air, in surrender. The men sneered.

"Clear out your pockets." They growled, one of them holding up a gun, the other feeling around for any hidden weapons. "The deal was that you came alone." They continued, turning to look at the van.

"They had nothing to do with me." Frank shrugged and followed them in, only turning his head to look back at them with a nod.

"This was not a part of the plan!" Danny screamed, panicking that his father was going in there unarmed. The plan was to shoot them all down to get Erin and Lizzie, no questions asked. The Commissioner was supposed to sit in his car, blocks away, and let the younger Reagan men handle it.

"What do we do now?" Jackie asked.

Danny and Joe both sighed, in sync. "We wait."

-BB-

The two men led Frank through the warehouse, boxing him in so he could not do much wandering. After five minutes, they walked into a room with a multitude of chairs placed in the middle. One of the men motioned to the chairs and Frank sat down. "I am here on your terms. Let me see my daughter and granddaughter." Frank begged.

"Not so fast." The Templar leader came through one of the many doors. "It's an honor to meet you again sir, remember me?"

"I never forget a man who served in my department. Thomas Rider, 34th precinct. You were taken off the force for several misdemeanors, misconduct, obsession with being in charge... you smiled at me after you were let go. I will never understand."

"It was that moment, being let go, that helped me to realize what I wanted to take away from this lifetime. The NYPD is formed of so many white men that follow you, where is their breathing room? Your son Danny has been investigated by Internal Affairs a number of times for his harsh interrogation methods. And we both know how good of a cop your son is. We hear about it all the time on the news."

"My son worked for everything he has achieved. My position in this department had nothing to do with any of that." Frank said in a voice that almost sounded recorded.

"That's bullshit. All three of your sons worked for the NYPD. They were heroes because they had the last name Reagan. That is why they got so much more publicity than the rest of us."

"If you listen to yourself, you would realize that what you are saying makes no sense." Frank declared calmly, not even getting worked up. "Do you want my sons getting recognized for their mistakes or their triumphs? You're making it sound as if they are both good and bad options."

"Huh?"

Frank was irritated. This guy was so stupid! His plan was faulty. Giving him a gun and followers did not make him a leader, less a good one. "What is it that you want from me? My power?"

"I want the power of the Commissioner to be fair and not give advantages. I want police to do whatever the hell it is they want without getting punished." He crossed his arms.

"Like what? Smacking someone in an interrogation room?" Frank shouted back.

It was then that he decided to smile. "More than that... bring her in."

It was then that two men brought Erin in, wearing nothing but a robe.

-BB-

"We have to go in there!" Danny argued.

"Well how do you propose we do that Danny? Do you want us to waltz in the door and not expect everyone to start shooting at us?"

"I can help you with that."

"Lizzie?" Both Danny and Joe ran at their niece, standing in the back of the van wearing black combats, black leggings, and a black jacket.

"We don't have much time."

"Wait, I don't understand. Did they let you go?" Danny asked, trying to inspect his niece for bruises. He was a little upset when he saw that she had a gun in each pocket, and one in her boot, and a knife in the other one.

"This guy is a psycho. He thinks that Grandpa can just magically sign over his power as the Commissioner. He wants to make the NYPD a mafia group."

"What do you mean?"

"He wants to have every man in the NYPD work for him and kill people when he doesn't get what he wants. He would be virtually untouchable."

"Why would he go this route rather than to just start up his own gang? This doesn't make sense to me."

"He was a cop once too, and Grandpa fired him for his actions. He has a personal grudge."

"What I don't understand is that you are standing here in front of us, and he doesn't care that you are feeding us all the information we need to take him down?"

"No, I'm here because he trusts me. He has it in his head that if I am work alongside him, no one will try and take him down because I am the granddaughter of the Commissioner."

"What do you mean he trusts you?"

"I, uh, may have used my acting skills on him."

"And?"

"I did what I had to do. That's my job. I am a Reagan. I fight for justice, for the cops of New York City as well as our family. We were broken." She looked over at Joe, "In more ways than one. But now we are both back here. We get the chance to be a family again."

"Alright, what about all of his doofuses?"

"All NYPD cops that were relieved from duty. They believe that if he gets power they will all get their jobs back, which of course is a large stretch of the truth, but..."

"How do we get in?"

"I take you in." She pulled out a gun, and without wince shot Danny in the leg. Danny screamed in pain, collapsing to the ground.

"Sorry. Now, look like you are helpless and in pain." She handed him a gun, shoving it in his pocket, and began dragging him towards the door.

"Wow," Was all that came out of Jackie's mouth.

"Yeah." Joe agreed.

"I don't know if she is that Broadway loving singing actress anymore. She looks more like a mix of Black Widow and Peggy Carter." Jackie walked back to the passenger seat and sat down, looking at Lizzie dragging Danny along the pavement.

"When did you become a Marvel fan?" Joe questioned, looking over at Jackie.

"I have my moments."

-BB-

"I believe you are familiar with my woman, Erin." Thomas walked over to Erin, the smile on his face growing even more evil as time went on. Frank knew what was coming, and with a motion one of Thomas's men had Frank handcuffed to the chair.

Erin looked over at her father, trying to somehow send him the vibe that she didn't want him to give it up for her. His protecting of New York was much more important. And she mostly, she didn't want him to see what was about to happen.

"She's a cutie, this one. And she's great for a little fun."

The men standing behind her were about to rip off the robe when Lizzie entered. "Hi babe." She ran up to him, kissing him on the cheek. "I got you another one. I convinced him I was on his side. Poor little Danny Reagan actually believed that his sweet little niece was a good girl. You are so wrong. I hope you rot next to the rest of the Reagans. Jamie and Joe will be joining you soon. All the little Reagans are helpless now."

"Lizzie..." Frank frowned at his granddaughter. "What have they done to you?"

"It's amazing Grandpa... I thought that the NYPD was great the way it was. But I was wrong. This new vision... it's the future. Police officers should get the right to do whatever they want. And they should not be taken down by the Commissioner. They should be taken down after retirement. I think that Tom is the perfect candidate for this new idea. My suggestion to you would be to sign off all the power now, before little Erin gives Tom the fun he wants."

"Elizabeth... Reagan blood is blue blood. You always be apart of this family no matter how hard you try to convince yourself otherwise. Even when you were living in Chicago you were a Reagan. Blood is blood. " Frank pleaded with his granddaughter. Then he saw something in her eye. Love. Love for him and his son and his daughter, her mother.

"Please Frank, sign it away. Sign away all of the power you think you deserve. You don't deserve any of it. Look what you've done. Thousands of people have died under your watch. You could have saved them all. But no. You didn't. You have a whole group of people right here who want to help this city, but they weren't good enough for you and your police force."

Frank sighed. "No. I won't sign it. You will have to kill me. Even killing me won't magically make you the Commissioner. That's not how it works. You have to be appointed. You have to be wanted. You are not any of this things. You are in no position to go off making demands like these, kidnapping, raping my daughter. That makes me despise you more. You can kill me right here, right now. Just let my children go."

"Lizzie," Thomas called. She turned around to face him. "You want to prove your loyalty to me? Shoot him."

Lizzie pulled out one of the guns from her pocket, tossing it and catching it impressively. She shot a look at her mother, who remained mystified in the corner, and her uncle, who nodded back at her. "Police Commissioner Francis Reagan, I sentence you to death."

It was right then that she spun around and shot Thomas square in the chest. He collapsed with a thump. The men all looked around like they has gotten shot too, they had no idea what to do now that their main head was down. They all pulled out guns, one grabbed Erin.

"I'll kill her! I'll kill her if you don't give us the power!" He almost seemed confused by his own statement.

"You kill her I kill you." Danny growled, his gun aimed at the man. Erin didn't even seem phased anymore.

"NYPD! LOWER YOUR WEAPONS!"

Joe, Jackie, and Danny, amongst Baker leading in about ten other NYPD cops. A group of paramedics jumped in, the sound of sirens wailing filling the airspace.

Lizzie walked over to her grandfather, removing his restraints. "I am so sorry Commissioner. I disrespected this family so much. Look what I've done. I have killed. I am a monster." She choked that last part out, letting the tears she had threatened to fall fall finally. The threats to her and her family were finally gone. They were safe. That was what mattered.

She threw herself into her grandfather's chest, feeling like a little kid again as she cried. Her grandfather lifted him onto a chair before lifting her chin to look up at her.

"I am so proud of you. You saved our family. You are truly a Reagan."

"Dad!" Frank's children all waved him over. The two of them walked over, Lizzie nervously trudging behind him. Danny lay on a stretcher, a paramedic tending to the bullet wound in his leg.

"Sorry for shooting you Uncle Danny. I didn't know if they would believe me if you came in unscathed." Lizzie frowned, feeling the guilt of shooting her uncle for literally no reason. She really should have thought that one through.

"Kid, I don't even know you anymore. You're like a ninja superhero. Don't you worry about me. I will be just fine. We will all be just fine." He opened his arms, letting Lizzie lean in for a hug.

-BB-

"Baker." Frank greeted.

"Sir." Abigail greeted back. "Your son, Joe, he has been keeping me informed on the Reagan Initiative for a while. I have identified everyone working against you on this case. They are all being brought in, whether New York or Chicago.

"Thank you Abigail. My family is indebted to you for your services here today as well as everyday you serve in my office." He nodded in approval, a smile peeking at his lip.

"You're welcome, sir. I will be clearing your schedule for the next few days. Call me if you need anything at all."

"I will, and enjoy your vacation, Baker."

"What vacation, sir?"

"The one I am giving you for the next four days. Spoil that man of yours."

"I will, sir."

-BB-

On the other side of the warehouse, Jackie was arresting the last of the men involved in the days' events. "You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law. You have the right to speak to an attorney, and to have an attorney present during any questioning." She walked him in towards one of the squad cars, shoving him in.

"You're so cute when you play cop." Joe said, popping up behind her.

"I try to be. So, you excited to going back to playing Reagan cop?"

"Oh, of course. I get to start working the night shift again, living in a crappy apartment, it will all be great."

"I'm sure I'll see you around, you know, being your brother's partner and all that."

"Only his partner? What about his brother?" Jackie turned around to look at him. His muscular figure stood there, looking more heartbroken than ever.

Jackie took a deep breath, taking a step towards Joe. "Joe... I can't do this. I am not a Reagan; I can't be a Reagan."

"Stay with me." Joe begged. "See what life can bring us together. As much as you think you are alone, you are not alone. You are a Reagan whether or not you carry the blood inside you. You have been since the day I met you ten years ago. And most of all, you're my favorite Reagan."

It was then that they kissed.

-BB-

"Ma'am you need to sit down and let us inspect you!" One of the paramedics was screaming. Erin was not having it, attempting to get up off of the stretcher.

"Just let me see my daughter!" She argued. Lizzie turned around at her mother's voice, the waterworks starting again.

"Mom!" Lizzie started running at her mother, almost knocking her over as she engulfed herself in her mother's chest. More tears. "I am so sorry, none of this would have happened, you were raped because of me. Again."

"Lizzie, listen to me. You saved me. I am so proud to be your mother."

"Well, I am so proud to be your daughter."

 **there you go! ahhhh! next chapter will be the Reagans dealing with the aftermath of the situation. There will indeed be some post trauma.**


	24. Chapter 24

"I am fine. It is not necessary for us to stay here!"

Erin had been arguing. She had been arguing for the last two hours since they had arrived at the hospital. She didn't like hospitals. She had been traumatized, a lot, but she would do what she always did. Play cold.

"Erin, you need to stop and let these doctors check you! You suffered severe malnutrition, dehydration..." Joe stood protectively over his sister, grasping her cold hand in his.

"And RAPE! YES, I WAS RAPED! BUT I AM STILL THE SAME PERSON!"

"No one said you weren't Er." Jamie. Little, protective, baby brother Jamie. Standing right next to him was Joe, looking equally concerned. The two of them stared at their sister, arms crossed.

"You need to convince Dad to let us go home." Erin begged. "And you." She motioned to Joe, "why aren't you with Lizzie? They won't let me go see her! What about Danny? Last time I checked, they were injured as well."

"Danny is getting his leg checked, and Lizzie is with Dad. You need to let them do the rape kit. When we get the all clear that you are okay, we will all go back to Dad's. You, Nick, and Lizzie will be staying there for a bit." Joe stated, trying to get the point across that she was doing it whether she liked it or not.

Erin opened her mouth to argue, but Jamie cut her off before she could start. "And Dad said not to argue because if you go home he will put half of the NYPD outside your door, so don't argue."

"GAH!" Erin growled, crossing her arms. She was clearly not going to win this fight.

Frank had been walking around, looking for his granddaughter. She had been cleared by paramedics at the scene, but she had ridden to the hospital in his SUV with Joe, Jackie, and Jamie.

He found her, as he figured, sitting next to Danny's hospital bed in a chair. He seemed to be trying to convince her that she was not a monster.

She silently sobbed with her head in her hands. She wanted so bad to throw herself at her uncle and cry in his arms, but she couldn't. The images flashing through her brain were slowly burning it to a crisp.

Look at what she had done. She had killed men, one of them being her biological father. Yes, he had done awful things, but he was still the reason she was alive. Half of her argued that if he had never raped her mother, she would have never been born, and the other half told her that her mother would have been better off.

"Lizzie, you need to listen to me. What you did out there has no bearing on what kind of a person you are. You did what you needed to do to survive. And being a cop, or any kind of person with a badge and gun is hard. You need to live with what you did. I am not gonna sit here and tell you that your thoughts and feelings about this will magically fade, because they won't. But I will tell you, that I served the NYPD for 15 years. Then I took a leave of absence to serve two tours as a Marine in the Iraq War."

Lizzie blinked. She hadn't known that.

"I saw so many things that I never thought I'd see. And, I was the only one from my unit to come home alive. I didn't sleep well for a year. Every time I closed my eyes, I saw death. The deaths of my friends seemed to follow me around everywhere I went. Decorated for heroism or not, that didn't change how I felt about what I had seen or what I had done. Everyone has trouble, even me. The moral of the story is that things did get better. You will get better, and you will forgive."

"I don't know if I can forgive myself. Look at what I have done; I am a monster." Lizzie gulped. She was not going to cry. She was a monster. She didn't deserve to whine about what she had done.

"You're not a monster. You're my niece. And you're a hell of a good one. You saved your mother and you saved me."

"I didn't save you; I shot you!" Lizzie argued, why was her uncle so persistent?

"I would take a million shots in the leg if it meant I got to hug my sister and her daughter again! You saved me from a life of misery! You don't understand how much pain I felt when Joe died. And now he's back. I am not really sure how to feel about that. But you and Erin wouldn't have been resurrected from the dead, and I would never have been able to live with myself for that. Now I won't have to."

Frank chose this moment to make his presence in the room known. He had been standing in the doorway for this whole conversation, but the two of them were so involved that they didn't notice his entrance. He cleared his throat and the two of them jumped to look at him; Lizzie straightened herself and wiped her eyes as if to attempt to hide the fact that she had been crying.

"Commissioner Reagan." Lizzie let out.

"Last time I checked, I was your grandfather before I was your Commissioner." He said, scrunching his mustache.

"I don't deserve to be your granddaughter." She bit.

"Daniel, would you excuse Elizabeth and I?"

"Of course." He agreed, shooting a look at Lizzie as she stood up and made her way to him. The two of them made their way down the hallway of the hospital.

"When was the last time you ate a decent meal?" Frank asked, motioning for her to get into the elevator with him. "I have heard this hospital has good chicken salads. And, they do make a mean chocolate shake for those patients on the liquid diet."

Lizzie blinked. This was odd.

"You're talking me on a lunch date? I mean, I know you are going to give me a really cheesy speech on how I am going to forever be a Reagan and all that, but lunch... really?"

"When was the last time you ate, Lizzie?" Frank persisted.

"A full meal?" Lizzie chuckled. "About three or four days ago." Upon seeing Frank's reaction, she rolled her eyes. "I have been eating, just not a lot. I had more important things on my mind at the time."

"Like what?"

"Getting my mother back. In case you forgot, I took a vacation in a scary looking warehouse. One that did provide me food as soon as I swore my allegiance to it. Did you know that joining terrorist groups means you get a buffet every night?"

"I thought you said you didn't eat." Frank raised an eyebrow.

"I wasn't hungry. I couldn't sit next to the man who had sexually assaulted my mother and eat steak. He put himself inside of her on more than one occasion. He forced himself inside of her. I heard my mother scream. I heard the sound of contact, his fist and her stomach. I heard her body hit the floor..." She closed her eyes, but quickly opened them when she saw him again.

"Your mother is safe now. She is safe because you saved her."

"I didn't save her. She is going to mentally scared for the rest of her life because I let her get assaulted multiple times. I saw her give up. I saw her willing herself to death. She didn't think I could get her out of there. And I didn't get her out of there. It took shooting my uncle and having him shoot the perp to get them out of there." She took a deep breath, pushing the salad in her tray around with a fork. She was not hungry. She didn't think she would ever have an appetite again.

"Lizzie, you have to eat." Her grandfather pressed.

Lizzie bit her tongue and put some salad in her mouth. It had a bad taste, but she swallowed it anyways.

"I think you should talk to someone. A therapist."

"Grandpa, I am not crazy!" Lizzie said, her voice rising a tad.

"I didn't say that you were! You are not crazy. You went through something traumatic and you need to tell someone because otherwise you will never be freed from this. I have had a therapist before. I have been a cop for forty years, and I have seen some pretty dark things. At first, I used to tell your grandmother everything, but after she died I started speaking to an outside source."

"Who?"

He smiled at me. "Baker is a remarkable police officer. She is also an amazing listener."

"Baker is the blonde, right?"

"Yes. And she has been by my side for eight years. I trust that woman with my life. She has gone above and beyond on more than one occasion."

"And you think that I should talk to Baker? Your secretary..?"

He swallowed, looking at me. "You can pick whomever you want, but I would go with Baker. You know, once she gets off her vacation that I mandated."

"...Okay...?"

Lizzie was a tad confused. It made sense that her grandfather wanted her to see a shrink. She probably sounded crazy the way she was babbling. There was just so many things going through her mind. Her parents had died. Her mother had been kidnapped. Her uncle had been kidnapped. Her dead uncle wasn't dead... her sister...

Her sister probably hated her. Look at all of the stupid things she had done. She had run off, faked her death, gotten her mother and uncle kidnapped on two separate occasions, and was a murderer.

Yeah Nicky probably hated her.

"Grandpa!"

Speak of the devil.

Nicky attacked their grandfather in a hug. Lizzie had no idea how long it had been since she had seen him. Had he been cold and obsessed with finding them? Had he shut out the people he cared about most because it hurt him?

He may have been the Commissioner, but like he had said, he was a grandfather first.

How long had it been since he had slept? Eaten? Was he just as glued to the task as it seemed? He had lost so much. His mother died, then his wife, then his son. His son had come back though. He had all of his children back, and his granddaughter that he hadn't known existed that had died and returned from the dead.

All of those things took their toll. He looked like he had aged five years in that week.

"Lizzie!" Lizzie was broken out of her thoughts when she realized that her little sister had also attacked her in a hug. For some reason, the contact made her flinch. She thought of the men. Looking up, she saw that her sister looked hurt.

"Sorry." Lizzie pulled her sister in again, this time appreciating the gesture. It just went to show that her family was slowly but surely coming back together.

"Hi Frank. I got a call that someone insisted I was needed in the ER for a patient. So, I will go do my job and make sure they are okay."

Lizzie hadn't even seen her aunt come and go. It made her laugh, thinking of how attached she had originally become to Linda. Linda was not a cop. She didn't have the demons the other Reagans did. If she did get involved in a case, her family by marriage would always save her.

She darted up from the table, running after her aunt. Nicky and Frank both watched her, following her out of the cafeteria into the hall. They saw the brunette gone blonde attack her aunt in a hug. She turned around, looking back at them.

Frank nodded.

The family, slowly but surely, would be okay.

"Erin, please. Let the nurses do their job. It is one thing to be assaulted. It is a completely other thing to inherit some sort of STD or get pregnant by this bastard."

Danny had insisted on seeing his sister. Her demeanor from early had changed drastically. She thought she could do it and play strong. But every sound she heard, every person she saw, they all led her back to the same place. The dark place had her changed down to a bed, screaming as someone forced themself into her.

 _"Hey there Erin Bear." He made his way across the room, walking towards the bed. "I know you missed me." He sat down on the edge of the bed, rubbing his hand down Erin's chest._

 _She had just blinked at him. The first time it had happened, she had cried loudly. The second time, when he had whipped her, she had held it in. Now, despite the bruises covering her body, the infected gashes on her stomach, and the scarring on her inner thighs, she was going to let him do whatever he wanted. She couldn't help it even if she wanted to._

 _"You look oh so miserable darling. I can take the pain away. I will take it all away." To Erin, it was odd how words that were supposed to comfort did exactly the opposite. If anything, it probably made things worse._

 _He started kissing her. That's what she remembered most. His breath. It smelled awful, and he kept kissing her, continuously rubbing his hands up and down her sides. He had thrown himself on top of her, and she didn't think her body could handle it._

"Erin! Erin!"

She quietly looked up to see her sister in law standing at the edge of the room, near the door. Danny nodded in her direction. Linda just shook her head.

"All of you. Out. You are probably making her feel uncomfortable."

Now that Erin thought about it, she had felt safe having her brothers with her. She was scared, yes, she was scared that she was never going to be able to live a normal life again, but she always knew that her brothers would protect her.

They would never hurt her.

She timidly shifted her gaze to her sister in law as she put gloves on. Her blue scrubs seemed to intimidate Erin. She knew what Linda wanted. She shook her head.

"Erin... I have to do this. The sooner we do it, the sooner we can go back home and you can spend some time with your kids. It is what you need right now." She sat down in the spinny chair next to the bed that had been previously occupied by Jamie.

"I need you to change into a hospital gown." Erin had refused to let the other nurses change her. They had hooked her up to an IV to push in fluids, but they hadn't changed her. The Commissioner had suggested that Linda do it, since Erin knew her.

Erin shook her head.

"Please." Linda begged. "I will help you."

Another shake of the head.

"Please Mom." Lizzie stood in the doorway, glancing at her mother's fragile figure. She looked so small, lying on that bed. She looked thinner, and she had already been a toothpick to begin with. "I will help you, if you want."

Erin gave a slight nod. Lizzie nodded at Linda and the two of them helped Erin take her shirt off, revealing even more bruises. Both Linda and Lizzie got a little teary eyed when they saw the gashes on her stomach. They had been treated, so they looked slightly better, but the discoloration was still awful. Linda shoved the shirt into a plastic bag. Lizzie slowly pulled the underwear down and her mother did not fight it. She just spaced out. She was in her own little world.

Lizzie knew she should have stayed with her grandfather, but she had a feeling her mother would not allow anyone to perform the rape kit. And she really wanted to just go home with her family.

Linda began the process, and Lizzie sat down next to her mother and took her hand into her own, giving it a squeeze.

"We'll be okay. We are always okay."

Her mother turned her head, smiling smally at her daughter. Her daughter smiled in return, squeezing her mother's hand in return.


	25. Chapter 25

"Well, Ms. Boyle, you are STD free..." Another nurse came into the room a couple hours later. "Here are your emergency contraceptives. You are free to go once your brother comes back."

They had finished the kit, disinfected the wounds on her stomach, and put her on morphine because her body was hurting and bruised everywhere, they soon discovered.

"Contraceptives?" Erin paused, as if checking to see if she had heard the redheaded nurse right.

"Yes, the day after pill." The nurse nodded, standing at the head of the bed with the med chart in her hands. Lizzie lifted her head from where it rested on the side of her mother's bed to look at the redhead.

"What for? I didn't have sex yesterday." Erin pointed out. Lizzie rolled her eyes. If she was on some sort on painkiller, it clearly had not worn off yet.

"Yes, but you were involved in sexual activities that could result in your pregnancy. You could still be pregnant. We don't magically stop the pregnancy, if there is one." The nurse seemed tired, moreso agitated with Erin. Erin was probably too high on morphine to have the ability to actually recall this conversation soon over.

"So you're saying I am pregnant?" Erin slurred.

"If you are, it wouldn't be picked up because it is too soon. If you do find out you're pregnant, you can consider your options... keeping it... adoption... abortion."

"Wait a minute! Who said anything about abortion? I wanna keep it; it's probably my baby's younger brother or sister. Same father and same mother. Conceived the same way. Ahahaha. I am hilarious." Her mother chuckled on drunkly, much to Lizzie wanting to rip her hair out. Her mother was in so much pain, and all of that pain was being masked away. She knew her mother was eventually going to lose it. There was nothing Lizzie could do about that. She also knew that her whole family was heavily religious, and that meant there were no chances of an abortion. If there was a child, her mother would have to keep it. Again.

Maybe this time it would be raised by its own mother. She was not that lucky.

The nurse began walking towards the door, immediately relieved when she saw Joe standing in the doorway. It did not go unnoticed that there were two other uniformed officers pacing the hallway. Perks of being related to the Police Commissioner. "She's free to go. Just be aware she is still a little bit out of it." The nurse hurried away, much to Joe's confusion.

"Is she okay?" He asked, motioning to the still chuckling Erin.

"She's a bit high, but I think the nurse wants her to get out of here. You know, take her somewhere where she is comfortable. Somewhere where she will lose whatever ounce of sanity she has left. Somewhere where people won't poke and prod her."

"Too bad Linda couldn't stay. She had other patients to attend to. Linda would be a lot better at this than I am. I am the dead brother that shows up to save his sister, but he can't even do that." He chuckled nervously. Lizzie had to fight the urge to roll her eyes. Everyone loved blaming themselves for what had happened, but it really always gave back to her. She was the daughter that shown up in the picture. She should have just stayed away. And lived with the fact that she was an orphan. She was an orphan who was adopted and always knew there was something more.

Lizzie took the time to think of an appropriate response. She had gotten lost in her thoughts again. "That's understandable. Linda is a medically trained professional. Should we help my mom get dressed? I think it would be better if we did it, as opposed to some nurse. And I don't think that the police officers burning their stares into her to make sure she doesn't disintegrate into thin air are helping." Lizzie motioned to her mother, still sitting in a hospital gown on the metal gurney.

"Maybe you should do it. She might not be comfortable around me." Joe whispered, sending a sad look towards his older sister.

"Baby bro! I love you! Come help me!" The tired but hyped lawyer exclaimed.

"Morphine." The two of them looked at each other. Lizzie slowly closed the blinds of the room, making eye contact with the officers. She was in charge.

The two of them slowly made their way over to her. Lizzie tried to ignore the pained look in her mother's eyes. She looked frail, and she certainly looked tired. Joe put an arm around her waist to steady her. It didn't do unnoticed when Erin flinched at the contact. Joe frowned, slowly backing away.

"Wait, Joe, I am sorry." Erin whispered. "I know I am a little bit broken. But please don't leave me." Joe felt his heart break into a million pieces. This was his older sister, the bad-ass lawyer. He never thought he would see her like this. She was such a tough nut. She would always be a tough nut.

"I am not leaving you. I just want you to be comfortable. I am going to wait outside." He slowly made his way out, stopping to stand with the officers, one of whom was Renzulli, the other being none other than Jackie Curatola. They themselves went to the Commissioner and said they would not let anyone else do the job. If one Reagan fell, then all of them fell. Renzulli had never done more than exchange pleasantries with Erin, and yet there he was.

"Mom, I will help you." Lizzie whispered, helping her mom put a Columbia sweatshirt on top of her bra. Erin felt her cheeks get red. Even though she was facing the wall, she could feel their eyes on her back.

On her bruises.

There were just so many of them.

Lizzie helped her mother put on a loose pair of sweatpants and helped her into the wheelchair, placing her purse on her lap. Joe, having seen them, was ready to push the wheelchair, but Lizzie shook her head. She was going to take care of her mother.

Once in the front lobby, Lizzie spotted her grandfather and Baker. Lizzie smiled at Baker, who stood protectively at the side of the Commissioner. The three officers stood behind them.

"Let's go home." Frank affirmed, leading them to the ER entrance where they had parked their SUV. Joe helped Erin into the car and Lizzie sat next to her. Joe sat on the other side of Lizzie, and Frank sat next to Baker in the front.

The drive was quiet. There was some sort of an awkward tension in the air. Lizzie kind of hoped her grandfather or Baker would say something to fill the silence, but nothing came.

To be or not to be, that is the question.

Her mother was going to get past this. She would make sure of it.

The house was full.

There were dozens of officers sitting at their dining table. All of them had some personal connection to the Commissioner and his family. There seemed to be a discussion about what the protocol for security was going to be. After all this time alone, it kind of scared Lizzie. She wouldn't be able to go to the bathroom without a badge on her ass. Wasn't that just a little overboard?

My uncles helped my mom in through the front door. Jamie was on her left, and Joe was on her right. Behind them was the ever so formal and actually badass Baker, whose sunglasses added to the effect. She seemed to be talking to my grandfather. I spotted Jackie helping my uncle Danny through the door with his crutches.

A part of me knew that all of these people were somehow connected. They were somehow a family. All of them were intertwined through their 'blue blood' that ran through their veins. They were all cops, or wives of cops, daughters of cops, nieces of cops...

And yet, I couldn't explain the pit that seemed to be forming in the bottom of my stomach. It seemed stupid, having been through all of these life threatening situations, and be alarmed by a little bit of claustrophobia. I was pursuing a career in acting! A few people should not have bothered me.

I didn't realize I was standing completely still next to the stairs until I realized that there were two critters hugging my legs. And by critters, I meant Jack and Sean.

"Lizzie! We've missed you!" Sean squeezed my leg, extra hard. I sat down on the stairs, letting them hug me. They were so happy. They didn't know.

They were innocent.

We were all innocent.

But their memories were happy, and that was what made the difference.

"Where did you go? Were you with everyone else? Everyone was gone!" Jack asked, a furrow in his brow. He certainly didn't believe whatever the adults had told him. What was I supposed to do? Tell him that his father and aunt and dead uncle were all involved in a weird mafia group thing? How did one explain that, I was not sure. I still wasn't sure what had gone on. All I knew is that people died, and my family was hurt in the crossfire.

"We were all just really busy. We missed you all so much." I covered, hoping that didn't bring up any more questions. I didn't think I could handle it.

"Okay. Want to play Monopoly with us?" Sean continued, completely oblivious.

"Go play with your uncle!" I motioned to Joe.

"That's not our uncle!" Sean argued back. "We only have one uncle, uncle Jamie."

"That's your Uncle Joe. He was away for a while, and now he is back. I am sure he would be very happy to get a hug from you." I smiled smally at the two of them. Sean seemed to accept this, but Jack still looked convinced otherwise.

"Uncle Joe died. Dead people can't come back. That's not Uncle Joe!" He screamed, running away.

I debated running after him, I did. But I knew he was running to one of the adults. They knew how to lie about these things. I didn't really. I didn't really want to. The truth was he lied to protect us. That seemed to be the trend these days.

Everyone was still around, so I just walked up the stairs to find some solitude. It worked, really. I wandered into my mother's old room. She could at least enjoy looking at the pictures of her family, none of which she was in. Her grandpa stood next to her grandma, who had her hands on Erin's shoulders, who was holding a baby Nicky. Her Uncle Danny had his arms wrapped around a man who she didn't recognize on one side, and Linda on the other. a very young Jamie sat in the middle, his smile wide. Lizzie couldn't help the tears that started coming down her cheek.

How could she learned to love a group of people so fast that she had a week ago? The way her Uncle Danny look at Aunt Linda and her kids and the way the Commissioner look at all of children... It was a sense of pride and love that Lizzie admired. She only wished they would look at her the same way. She was not in the pictures. Would she ever be?

She originally had thought no, but things had changed, a lot...

 _"I thought I'd find you up here. I used to come hide up here when I felt sad or mad when I was a kid. That was my room," her mother motioned to one of the rooms on the left. "Being the only girl had its perks. I didn't have to share a room. One time my parents tried to put Danny and I in the same room and we ended up moving a couple months later because we needed more rooms so we wouldn't have to share." She laughed nervously. "I know this has been hard on you. All of it has. I know I'm not the best person to come to, but please talk to me."_

 _"I don't know what to say. This Reagan clan is really close knit. I used to kill for a family like this."_

 _"What was your family like?" Erin asked, motioning to her room. We both walked in and I plopped down on her office chair, while Erin sat on her bed._

 _"They weren't bad... They just weren't very close knit. My parents would try to get out of going to family dinners because my dad always felt inferior to his brother because he was their mother's favorite. No matter what he did, he was always wrong. My uncle's kids thought they were higher ups as well. I was just never one of the favorites."_

 _"Well, you're one of my favorites." Erin said, forming a smile. "And I know you're upset about not having a picture here, so I came prepared." Erin handed her the envelope that sat in her desk drawer as long as she had had that office, and in her bedside table drawer before that. Lizzie pulled over the flap and pulled out the stack of pictures. She felt the knot in her stomach form and tears lingering in her eyes._

 _"Your parents sent me pictures. I used to think it made the whole situation worse because it made me regret my decisions." Lizzie flipped through pictures of when she was a kid, through all of her show choir tournaments, until she found a picture of her mother holding a baby in a hospital bed._

 _"Is that Nicky?" Lizzie asked, not wanting to know the answer._

 _"No. It's you. My mother took it before she took you away from me. I loved you then, I love you now, and all of the time in between- you do realize that right?"_

 _"Yeah, I guess."_

 _"My favorite was always this one-" Erin took the envelope and fished around until she pulled one out and handed it to me._

 _Looking at it, I see she picked a picture that was taken when I was five. I can actually remember that day. It was my first dance recital and I was nervous that is would mess up because they gave me the solo. I ended up nailing the solo and the picture was the result, me smiling so widely my teeth might be fallen out._

 _"Can I keep this?" Lizzie motioned to the picture of her and her mother. Erin nodded. Lizzie picked up her mother's favorite picture and put it up next to the family photo._

 _"I'm sure Dad and Grandpa will go for getting new pictures done."_

 _"But then he won't be in it." Lizzie said, motioning to Joe. "Will he?"_

 _"He knew about you. He found out when he saw the pictures. He was mad I never told him about you."_

 _"I'm sorry Erin."_

One thing hadn't changed: I was still sorry. The thing that had changed: my uncle was back, after all. Everyone was back here in this house. The things I was sorry for at that time do not pale in comparison at the things I was sorry for now.

The family picture that lacked my uncle and I still sat untouched in its spot. Leaning against it, was the picture of me at my dance recital.

My mother never frequented this room anymore; it served as Nicky's room when she slept over. She could just imagine her mother walking through that door, closing it behind her before throwing herself on the better.

When she was tired.

When she was upset.

When she had given up hope.

Had she come back here the first time she was assaulted? Did she collapse on the bed and just lay there?

I threw myself on my mother's old bed, letting my body sink into it. The blanket that sat on top of the bed seemed homemade. It smelled like my mother. I lowered my body underneath it, wrapping myself up like a burrito. I lay like that for a while, letting my chest rise and fall.

I didn't know what to feel. I didn't know. The adrenaline that had been running nonstop seemed to have completely stopped. I felt tired. I felt weak. There were a million things running through my mind.

Some people drink, some people do drugs, and some people cut.

I am not one of those people.

So instead, I stare blankly at the white ceiling. I don't know how long I stare at it. At some point, I feel the silent tears coming down the side of my face. I think at some point I dozed off because the next thing I knew, people were clambering up the stairs. I threw the blanket over my face, hoping they would just leave me. I was not hungry, and not in the mood for socializing.

"Leezl! Leeezzzll! You are eighteen going on nineteen..."

Jackie?

"Okay, so I know you are hiding under those blankets, and maybe you're not feeling great. I know you probably assume everyone is worried sick about you, and it's true. They are all downstairs debating what to do with you. They don't think you're crazy. They think you're brave for the things you have done. They just want to make sure that you live through this. You will live through this. They just want to make it a little easier. I am not a Reagan. I am not one of your overbearing family members. I just want to know how you are doing. So..." the door closed quietly behind her. "How are you doing?"

Lizzie slowly removed the blanket that was covering her face. The room was relatively dark, so her eyes didn't pain at the adjustment. She made out the figure standing near the door. She seemed slightly tense.

She would be lying if she said she pictured herself bursting into tears right then and there. It hit her like a ton of bricks. The air was sucked out of her stomach, and the waterworks started.

"I don't-t-t-t know wha-at t-o d-o." She sobbed. "I killed a man. Two, actually. One of them was my fa-fa-." She couldn't make out the word. It pained her to think that, despite how she was conceived, she had killed half of her DNA origin. She had killed her own father. She didn't care if he was a mass murderer or a Natzi, he was still her father. Not to mention the other guy she had killed. She was no better than them.

"You did what you had to do. You need to look at me." Jackie maneuvered so that Lizzie's head was on her lap. She slowly tilted her head. "You need to stop with all the blame. All of this happened. It is in the past. It does not matter now whose fault it is. There's that thing you're supposed to say..."

"Grant me serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference. It is kind of my mom's catchphrase these days."

"Definitely a good one."

 **Hello! I was planning on writing the family dinner scene in this chapter, but it ended up being longer than I thought. Yes I realized I changed from third to first person but I left it figuring that that part should be told from Lizzie's pov.**

 **Next chapter: family dinner!**


	26. Chapter 26

Jackie left some time later, after having had continuously stroked my hair like a concerned adult mother-type would. And was I supposed to feel guilty that she was comforting me while my mother was downstairs probably feeling awful? Probably not. But did I? Of course.

"I, uh, have to go home. But if you need anything at all, you call me. You understand? You are going to call me. I don't care what time it is."

Lizzie nodded slowly as her 'aunt' made her way towards the door. Lizzie didn't make an effort to move from under the blankets or say anything. She was paralyzed with thought.

"Is it because of dinner?" Lizzie asked. Jackie turned back around, happy to hear the young woman's voice. "I think you should stay. You are a member of this family. If they don't think you're worthy, I'll make them think you are. Even if you're not their family, you're mine."

"Joe and I- we're complicated. I loved him before. I loved him and he was afraid his family wouldn't approve or something. I never got an invitation to family dinner! I am not good enough for that nor will I ever be. I am not a Reagan. And I never will be. This doesn't change us, though. We can be family without me being a Reagan."

She left, closing the door behind her.

Lizzie sighed. What time was it anyway? She was surprised no one had flipped out thinking she had disappeared yet. Then again, maybe they respected her privacy enough to give her a couple of hours alone.

Jackie, Jackie, Jackie... sweet hardcore Jackie. She was going to be a part of this family whether or not they wanted her to be. These Reagans had their heads up in the clouds so high it was no wonder they were blue. Blue blood pierced through their veins. Blue blood referred to a family of high nobility and in their case, they were.

On more than one occasion Lizzie had considered herself one of them. She was one of them by blood whether or not she wanted to be. Having been raised differently, she could see the way they saw the world. It was different. Justice was to be served. Police were the superheroes. There was always an answer. Her own sister thought she was so up there because she was a Reagan. She didn't seem to realize that she needed to earn that position. It wasn't predisposed for her. It wasn't disposed for any of them.

In her opinion, Jackie met their superior motive. She fought for justice; she knew who she loved. Lizzie knew there was some deep dark secret that Jackie held. She didn't know where Jackie had been. She just knew Jackie now. And, quite frankly, she thought that was enough.

She wondered who the next comforting family member would be. She wasn't completely sure. Danny probably was glued down to the couch, being nursed by Linda. Jamie and Joe were probably trying to be supportive to their siblings and trying to work out their problems. Her grandfather and great grandfather were probably sitting in the kitchen drinking. She didn't know; she really didn't.

"Hey Liz."

Her sister.

"I just wanted to see how you're doing. You know, since you were all traumatized and stuff."

Lizzie sat up on the bed, tilting her head in confusion at her younger sister, who, by the way, looked like a boy with that ugly haircut.

"I honestly don't like you anymore. Our lives were perfectly normal up until you decided to show up. I have been sitting downstairs with my mother for four hours trying to talk to her, and she just keeps looking at the stairs. She would have been up here in a heartbeat had everyone not told her to give you some space. She is the one who was assaulted, and you are here playing the victim card."

"I am not playing anything. You think I wanted this? You think I wanted to see my own mother get raped? I am sorry that you're jealous that you sat here safe and sound while we were out fighting to stay alive!"

"She would have never gotten taken if you hadn't started your stupid sequence of events. It started when you showed up, then you stole a car, get kidnapped and faked your death. Mom didn't even call me. She left me with Linda, telling me she was going away on a business case. My mom has been a lawyer for as long as I can remember and she has never left the city! So imagine my surprise when I realize my New York cop uncle is gone too. All because of you."

Lizzie just stopped, taking a deep breath. She was not going to argue with her sister. She had literally just made the statement that her sister was spoiled. And she certainly acted like it.

"And... what do you want me to do about it? It's all in the past. I'm sorry that you felt that way, but I did what I had to. Whatever it is you think I can do to make it better, I will do. Because I am your sister, I am going to try and do right by you. So what is it that you want, Nicky?"

"I want you to leave! Go back to Chicago! But you aren't going to do that, are you? It's asking too much for you to give up your superhero cape and spotlight in the family, right?"

"If that is what you want, then I will do it. I will leave. But I have to tell them, otherwise they will come look for me. They probably will still come look for me." She sighed, taking a deep breath.

"Of course they will, you're the favorite." She muttered, walking away.

Ah, jealousy. Lizzie had never have had to deal with these sorts of problems growing up because she was the only child and the apple of her parents' eye.

In school, there had always been people on her ass when she beat them out for parts in the musicals.

She had always tried to be the bigger person. Had she sucked up and given them the role? Of course not. But she had apologized and attempted to take them out for lunch... and most of the time, they laughed in her face.

Did she care? Of course not.

Her sister still stood with her hand on the doorknob ready to leave, but still looking at her sister from across the way. She had always wanted a sister. Just not like this.

Nicky felt bad for what she had said. She really did. But she needed to say it. She needed to get it off her chest. She felt like there was something more she should say.

But she just walked away instead.

Some hours later, it was Joe that came to see her.

"Hey squirt." He said, knocking on the door before proceeding inward. Lizzie was now sprawled on the floor, looking through boxes of old pictures she had found and stealing the ones she really liked. She was planning to make a photo collage for her mother. She used to make them as birthday gifts, and it calmed her.

"How are you?" He asked, sitting next to her on the floor. She looked up momentarily from the task at hand and looked at him. He looked a little less stressed than when they had been out in the field, which was good...

She had planned to ask him about everyone downstairs. "What happened between you and Jackie?" Was what came out of her mouth instead. Like he was going to tell her!

Instead, he just looked at her solemnly and took a deep breath. "Three or four years ago, when I was still around, Jackie became Danny's new partner. The whole family naturally knew his other partners, but she was the first woman. She comes into the house one day looking for him, and instead she finds me. I don't really know how to describe it. There was some sort of higher being beaming at us when our eyes first locked. She smiled at me, and that was it."

"You looked at each other and fell in love? What is this? Some kind of sappy love story?"

"Well, I know its definitely out there, but after that her and I started meeting. First it was drinks. Then it was lunch. Then it was dinner. Then..."

"Then the family found out. I don't understand why that was such a bad thing. She doesn't have any mob affiliations does she?" Lizzie joked. She figured there was indeed something else to this story that she was missing. She wanted her uncle to be happy. She wanted Jackie to be happy.

Mostly though, she just wanted to sing at a wedding. It was kind of one of her dreams. Especially if it was two of the most important people in her life.

"No. It wasn't a bad thing. The family approved. It was a bad thing, however, when Jackie got pregnant."

Well, that seemed like something that justified relationship drama. _Joe and I... we're complicated..._ "She was pregnant with your child?" She needed clarification.

"No. I didn't know right away. I thought she was with someone else because we hadn't slept together yet. And she was cheating on me because she didn't want to wait to..." He paused. Lizzie huffed, rolling her eyes.

"Have sex. I'm not five."

He winced a little at the topic. "Yeah. Anyways, we broke up. The family thought it was my kid, and they told me I had to marry her. But it was not mine. So I refused. And I left her. Some time later, I found out the child was from a..."

Lizzie's stomach dropped in realization. "Wait a minute, Jackie was..."

"Yes she was."

Lizzie felt her world crashing around her. Two of the three women she looked up to had been sexually assaulted resulting in a pregnancy. "What happened to the baby?"

"She lost it. She disappeared off of the radar for a while, and when she came back, she didn't come near any of the Reagans. Danny had to beg her to be his partner again. That's why I can't be with Jackie. I broke her when she was already broken. Instead of standing by her side, I left her too."

Lizzie's thoughts still remained on the assault. It brought up images that were always in the back of her mind, ready to be reactivated. "So, uh, did she charge the guy who..."

"I have no idea." Joe shrugged. "I don't think she even told Danny."

"But what if it was..." she stopped short.

 _What if it was the man who raped her mother?_

 _What if it had been her father?_

Joe automatically knew what she was talking about. "The chances of that are very slim."

"He was a Reagan freak! She was your girlfriend, that puts her under that radar!" Lizzie began freaking out. She had been doing so well, keeping her emotions in check, that the pounding in her stomach took over almost instantly. She wheezed, her breathing shallow. It was hard to get the air in.

Joe immediately had her hand on his heart. "Follow my breathing. Come on. In and out. In and out."

 _Breathe in, breathe out._

 _Breathe in, breathe out._

 _Inhale, exhale._

Joe's eyebrows furrowed as his niece's breathing evened out again. She leaned back against the wall, tears streaming down her face. She looked stressed and tired. A moment later, she looked mad.

"You idiot! You have to go talk to her right now! Stop being a wimp! You let her get away once, don't let her do it again!"

Joe's face tensed. He stood up. "I have to go talk to her." He said, scrunching his nose. "I should have done it a long time ago. I was the coward. Not her."

Thank you! It was about time!

"Dinner!" Someone called down the stairs. He turned back and looked at his niece, who was now standing.

"This'll be fun." she chuckled halfheartedly, wiping the leftover tears off of her face.

Sunday dinner was a thing. It had always been a thing. Lizzie knew that, even though it was only her second one. The first one had seemed like a lifetime ago. She sort of wished her only problem at this point was giving her mother grief for the adoption and all of that nonsense.

Not that she liked putting more grief on her mother.

Things were much simpler then.

Lizzie came down the stairs following her Uncle Joey. Her Uncle Danny was still laying on the couch where he had plopped down before Lizzie had gone upstairs. He looked exhausted and pale. The plate of chicken wings sitting next to him, however, confirmed that he was okay mentally. Ish.

Her mother sat in the armchair with her arms wrapped around her legs that were scrunched into her stomach. It concerned her a little bit that her mother was not up and about helping Linda and Nicky set the table. Sometimes the first step to healing was sticking yourself into your normal routines once again.

"Hey Mom." She greeted. Her mother looked up at her, eyes swollen. Her stomach dropped. She really had no control over this situation. She looked over to her Uncle Danny, who smiled back at her smally. Lizzie sighed before walking away.

"Er.." Joe said, leaning on the side of the armchair. Erin jumped a little bit, tensing up. She continued staring blankly ahead after assuming her blank stare once again. Joe sighed. He did not know what to do.

"Erin!" Danny snapped. Erin slowly turned her head to look at the cripple laid across the couch. "Are you listening to me?" She nodded. "Okay. Let this sink into your head. I will say it as many times as I have to. You are safe. You are here with us now. You are here with your family, with your daughters and all of your brothers and your nephews and your father and grandfather and sister in-law. We are all here. You are here. This isn't a dream. We love you. We are going to get through this. We, as a family, will witness the sun rise again. Do you understand?"

It was uncertain as to whether or not Erin would have nodded, had Linda not called out that dinner was ready at that exact moment. Erin slowly got up and made her way into the kitchen. she going to eat with them? She still seemed to be trapped inside of her own thoughts, not there with the rest of them.

"Okay, listen to me guys. Everyone is a bit sad, so we have to cheer them up, okay?" Nicky said, bending down to talk to her two younger cousins.

"Yeah!" Sean agreed.

"Why are they sad?" Jack asked, trying to challenge his older cousin. She clearly knew what was going on, even though all of the grownups tried to hide everything from her too. But she was smart and old enough to figure it out. "I know you know, so don't lie to me or I will tell Mommy you ate cookies before dinner." Jack crossed his arms, as if to challenge her. Those cookies would get her grounded for sure.

"Well, umm..." Nicky started. How did she explain this to a ten year old? Better yet, would they be pissed at her for telling them what had happened? They were kids, they were supposed to live in a padded bubble all of their lives until the adults decided they were worthy...

She wasn't worthy yet, so...

"There was a bad guy. The bad guy took your dad. Then the bad guy took Aunt Erin. And he hurt both of them, so they are sad." Nicky decided, leaning against the counter.

"But they're better now, right? Grandpa got the bad guy..." Jack reasoned. "And my dad got medicine to make his leg better."

"Well, their bodies are okay. But inside they are still sad, and they probably will be for a while. So we need to make them smile. Make them laugh."

"Okay." Jack nodded, skipping off to the table to join his brother.

"Hey." Lizzie greeted to her sister when she walked into the kitchen. "Need any help?"

"Not from you. You might become the goddess of the plates and forks if I let you touch them! They will give you a medal! I don't get a medal, but I still set the table..."

Lizzie grunted. "What do you want?"

"You are still here, aren't you?"

"Sorry for inconveniencing you. I will leave asap." Lizzie chuckled. Her sister was 'adorable'.

-.

Once they were all seated at the table, Erin covered on both sides by her daughters, Frank looked over at Lizzie. She seemed calm, very calm for her recent endeavors. "Lizzie, why don't you say grace?"

Lizzie cleared her throat, which had become dry. She scanned the table. Apart of her sister, everyone looked... pitiful. She couldn't deal with it. She coughed, and then began. "Thank the lord for these gifts we are about to receive through Christ bounty. Amen." Erin. Danny. Linda. Sean. Jack. Nicky. Jamie. Grandpa. Pop. Joe. And me. A family.

I picked at the steak on my plate. I was not hungry. I had been home for less than forty eight hours. I couldn't stand it. I could still feel their pity burning into my skin. I didn't want this. I didn't want all of this attention, not like this. It made me think. How was I going to continue being a performer if I got nervous saying grace in front of my family?

Dinner was quiet. Pops talked about some case, and we all chose to ignore the damn elephant in the room. I wanted to scream, and rip their hair out. Scream that yes, everything had happened, and yes, we were all really jumpy and scared and traumatized. But what would that prove? We could not change what had happened, not at all!

Joe kept looking at me from across the table like he was expecting something. Don't even get me started about the way the three brothers kept looking at my mother like she was some sort of broken item needing to be fix. They expected her to shatter.

But my mother, she is shatterproof glass.


	27. Chapter 27

Lizzie had been forming a face out of the food on her plate when her cousin spoke. The elephant in the room still remained, stomping its feet to alert them all of its presence. "Why are bad guys bad?" Jack asked out of the blue. Everyone shared concerned looks at this.

"What do you mean, son?" Danny asked, looked up from his beautiful steak and potatoes. Trauma did not shrink his appetite. If anything, stress eating had become his new favorite hobby. He couldn't wait to finish that carton of moose tracks ice cream in the freezer later.

"Why are bad guys bad and not good?" He asked, like Danny would give him one clear cut answer that was the only solution. Like a math problem. That was the way children were, after all. You could not give them a vague answer. They needed one simple straight forward answer.

Jamie jumped in here, reminded of a cartoon he had seen a couple times with Nicky. "Well, its like in that cartoon. The guy has an angel on one shoulder and a devil on the other. The two of them argue. But eventually, either the angel or the devil is going to win."

"Well shouldn't the angel always win? The angel is nice, and angels do good things for people. Devils are mean."

"Everyone has both. Its their choice which one comes out. The angels and devils don't pick, the person does." Jamie continued.

"So why would a person chose to be bad when they could be good?" Sean jumped in, trying to get into the conversation.

Lizzie budded in here. "Because maybe they got someone else's bad given to them. It might be all they know. But it isn't an excuse. If you're bad, you should probably be in jail. You know, jail is basically a really long time out. Sometimes adults need time outs too."

And with that, they all continued picking at their food.

Lizzie helped wash the dishes, clear the table, played with her cousins, and was now in her mother's old bedroom again, staring at the family pictures. She had a backpack of all of her things open on the bed. It wasn't like she had that many items anyways. She had bounced around a lot, never actually getting the opportunity to stick around.

She knew it. She knew it in her gut that she had to leave. Her mother looked so pained. She couldn't bear it. Of course she knew that was an incredibly lousy excuse to leave, but she needed space. She needed to breathe. All throughout dinner she could feel them breathing down her neck. They all were breathing down her neck as well as Erin's. It all added up.

This whole family was Erin's support system. They were all she had ever known. Every time something had the potential of going wrong, her brothers and father always had her back.

It wasn't the same for Lizzie. Not anymore anyways. She felt more comfortable standing on her own two feet than she did surrounded by overbearing family members. She knew she could stand alone. And that was exactly was she was going to do.

And for the record, it was not to satisfy her whiny little sister's demands that she leave. The thought had already been circling around in her mind prior to that moment. She just wanted everyone to be okay. In order for her own person to be okay, she needed to go back to her home in Chicago.

She knew they would send for her. They all saw her as a little kid that needed to be watched day in and day out. She was not that at all. She could take care of herself. She would take care of herself.

Lizzie was ripped out of her thoughts when she noticed her mother walk into the room. Her emotionally drained and baggy eyed mother walked in slowly, pausing in the middle of the room. Her daughter, sitting on the edge of the bed, patted the spot next to her. Erin slowly plopped down, taking the time to study her daughter's calm features.

"How do you feel?" She asked simply.

Lizzie was not going to take this. "Mom, I'm fine. You don't have to be worrying about me. You should be worrying about yourself. You went through some pretty traumatic things, and it might take you a while to get back on your feet. So I ask you: how do you feel?"

"Honey, it's supposed to be the other way around. I am supposed to be caring for you."

"I know, but you need me more than I need you. And that is totally okay. And you might think it's scary to talk about your feelings, but it is not." Lizzie put her own hand on top of her mother's cold one. "I need you to be able to talk to someone. It doesn't have to be me, or anyone in this family. As long as you talk to someone."

Her mother leaned her head against her daughter's shoulder. "I got lucky to have a daughter that was raised to be strong. She's stronger than I could have ever been."

"Mom, you are so strong. I want to be just like you. Strong, I mean."

Her mother laughed slightly at this. "I love you."

"I love you too, Mom."

Her mother ended up falling asleep with her arm wrapped around Lizzie. Lizzie didn't mind, for she had had the feeling her mother hadn't been sleeping much these days. If her mother was on the healthy track, she was not going to complain.

Sometime around two in the morning, Lizzie made the slow movement to untangle herself from her mother. Her mother had been sleeping so deeply that she didn't even stir. Lizzie pulled up the blanket over her mother before walking down the stairs.

She had made her way to the door and was in the process of unlocking it when she jumped at hearing a voice coming from the opposite direction.

"Where are you going, Lizzie?"

"Um..." Lizzie turned back around to see not one, but all three of her uncles standing behind her, all with their arms crossed. They stood in a line of oldest to youngest, which also meant shortest to tallest. Danny had to lean on Joe, who didn't look like he appreciated being a walker for his 'old man' of a brother.

"You're leaving again, aren't you?" The words left Jamie's mouth in a sort of pain. Lizzie felt bad, she had always neglected Jamie. He seemed to be the one that was always left out. It was because he was the youngest. There seemed to be some unspoken agreement that he was the last innocent Reagan, and he needed to be protected at all costs. Danny has his time in the Marines, Erin, well... have you read the last twenty something chapters of this book? Joe had to fake his death and hide for years. Jamie didn't have anything like that under his belt. Lizzie had more under her belt. Are we sure he isn't Nicky's brother and Lizzie wasn't a Reagan sibling instead?

Lizzie sighed. "Yes. I am a legal adult. You can't keep me here."

"It's because of your mother, isn't it?" This time it was Danny, looking at her with sad eyes.

"Every time I look into my mother's eyes, I see pain. So much pain. And it gets a thousand times worse when her eyes meet mine. I make her feel worse! I make her feel guilty! She feels guilty that I had to see her go through those things! Why would I do that? Why would I put my mother into more pain than she is already in?"

"Because she has already lost you twice." Jamie pointed out.

"It comes in sets of threes." Lizzie spit out, since that was the first thing on her mind. She took another breath. "I think she would be better off without me. She needs to focus on herself and her own recovery. Don't you agree? She looks awful. You know she looks awful."

"She looks awful because she went through something traumatic! She needs you here to see her through this recovery! You're her daughter! She needs to see your recover before she can recover!" Danny argued back.

Lizzie shot a look at Joe. Shouldn't he be helping her out with this one? He was there with her. He understood her and this situation more than anyone else. She needed to go back there.

"Joe, if you let her walk out that door alone..." Danny threatened, shooting a glare at Jamie, as if to tell him to pounce her.

"I'm not. I'll go with her."

Joe ran up the steps, shoved her out the door, and slammed the door behind them.

"Seriously? I want to go alone." She whined, droning on as she clumped down the stairs with the car keys in her hands. "I'm not a kid!" The two shuffled to Joe's car, and Lizzie shoved her minuscule bag in the back seat. They came down the driveway, seeing Danny and Jamie standing in the doorway with pissed expressions.

"Did you all really have to make a show out of this? Really! That's coming from me, the theater kid... should we write songs to go with it? I'll hit the high notes for you! Ahhhh!"

Joey turned to look at her from the road and glared in her direction. "Did you really think I was going to let you go alone? Come on, I knew the idea of leaving was floating through your head even before Nicky started bitching about it. Yes, I pay more attention than you think!"

"I thought I had already proved to you that I am not a child! Did any of the stuff I did even lead to credit in that department?" Lizzie rolled her eyes in true teenager fashion and crossed her arms.

"I didn't say that it didn't Liz. But you are going to back to Chicago. There are still shady cops running around. It's like the saying. You cut one head off, three grow in its place!" Joe made motions with his elbow as if to demonstrate his point since he refused to take his hands off the steering wheel.

"So... how is this going to work? Aren't they all going to go nuts calling you and all of that stuff? The Commissioner is your father! He will find us... and make us come home! You know that!"

"The Commissioner does not know where my apartment is. It's under a false name. And, I'll call him. He will be the voice of reason, realizing that both you and her need it, and your mother will listen to him." Joe said calmly.

"Are you sure?" Lizzie retorted.

"Of course he will. He's human too."

"I love how everyone keeps telling me that. I know he's human. He's just been through so much, and seen so much, that sometimes I wonder. Maybe it just hits him like blocks hitting a metal wall. The only thing it can do at this point is make a dent."

"If you throw enough bricks, eventually the wall will break." Joe responded, without turning his head.

"You're telling me that some lousy bricks will break a powerful wall? You must have a shot put arm!"

"Probably not, but I was trying to use the metaphor! It was your metaphor!" Joe let off a small smile. "And I was not a track star in high school, for the record."

She laughed slightly. "I know you were. He's such a great man."

"He is," Joe agreed. "The best commissioner there ever was. And more importantly, the best father and grandfather we could all ever have."

"Someday I hope to make as big a difference as he has. It's going to sound really cheesy, but he's my hero. And my mother. And my uncle. And you. You're all superheroes! Whoosh! It's a bird! It's a plane! No! It's the Reagan family! We could form our own superhero cult!"

"Jamie made you watch the Avengers, didn't he?"

She shrugged. "It was a good movie! I had little exposure to anything other than chick flicks growing up! Speaking of which..." she cleared her throat, turning to her uncle, who was now looking at her in concern.

"Did I ever tell you're my hero? You're everything I wish I could be!" She smiled at him, singing in key. His ears did not bleed, thank goodness.

"That was my mother's favorite movie!" He smiled. "She cried. Erin cried. Linda cried. It was the last movie she saw." He choked up a little. "In the hospital. The guys and I hid in the cafeteria because if we started crying about that, it would turn into tears for something else."

Lizzie stopped. With all that had been going on, she had forgotten about her superhero grandmother. "With all that has been going on, I kind of forgot about her. It's amazing how we forgot about things that don't affect us at the current moment even if they affect us in the long run. She's the reason I'm here. She's the reason I'm still alive. Look at what she did for me. She gave me a family. She gave me a voice. And she brought me back to you."

"She did. She is the real superhero."

The both of them sighed. Lizzie decided it was time to change the subject, and she was dying to know the new gossip.

"So did you talk to Jackie?"

Joe sighed. "No, I didn't. I went over to her apartment, but she wasn't home."

"Is she okay? Did-" Lizzie stopped herself cold in her tracks. She was being really irrational. All of the bad guys were gone... right?

"I don't know. Wait a minute, did you think that..? That's not possible. It can't be possible, right?" The two of them stared at each other for what seemed like the longest ten seconds of Lizzie's life. Lizzie pulled out her phone and scrolled until she reached Jackie's contact, putting the phone up to her ear.

"You've reached Detective Jackie Curatola. I can't come to the phone right now, but if you leave a message, I will call you back as soon as I can. Thank you!"

Lizzie took a deep breath. "Jackie, it's me, Lizzie. I need you to call me back as soon as possible." She turned her head to look at her uncle again. "It's important. Please call me back." Lizzie lowered the phone from her ear and sighed.

Joe made the decision right then and there to swerve and turn the car back around. He needed to see her. He needed to love her. He needed her.

 **AN: So I watched Beaches for the first time and I have made the decision that Bette Mitler is great, and it was necessary that I reference it. No regrets.**

 **Should something actually happen to Jackie? I was debating this, and I really don't know if I want to complicate the plot further because this story only has about eight more chapters. Or that could be the ending of the story with them finding her. Or, she could have disappeared on her own choice...**


	28. Chapter 28

"Hi Ms. Reagan, I'm Dr. Wells."

Erin just smiled at the doctor staring at her from her armchair opposite the blue coach she was sitting on with her legs crossed. She wasn't in the mood for this. She couldn't do this. Her daughter had left her. Her daughter had disappeared in the middle of the night and taken her uncle with her.

She had just gotten the two of them back, and now they were both gone again.

Danny and Jamie had been trying to get her to budge and beg her father to get them back, but Erin didn't have the strength in her to argue. She didn't have the fight in her bones anymore.

This supposed Dr. Wells was scribbling notes down in blue pen on a yellow legal pad. Erin noticed how the woman who couldn't have been ten years older looked twenty years older. Her blonde hair was streaked with white hairs, her nose seemed huge and covered in blackheads. She noticed, however, she still had the ability to take in the minuscule details.

"So how are you feeling today?" The doctor started. Erin sighed. She would start out with small talk before proceeding to ask her questions that would bring her memories flashing back to her and cause her to bawl her eyes out.

"I'm, uh, living day to day. It's been about a week since my family found me and I've been at home trying to get back into my normal routine, or at least as close as I can to it because they literally won't let me leave the house."

"So, would you say that everyone has been adjusting back into normal lives following the traumatic experience you all have experienced?"

Erin nodded. "My brother Jamie goes to work, my dad goes to his office more than he was before, my brother Danny who broke his legs goes to the precinct, and one of my daughters has gone back to school." She cut off at the mention of her daughters. Nicky seemed perfectly happy that her sister was gone. She knew why, of course, but she wasn't ready to address it.

"I'm sorry. How many daughters do you have?"

"Nicky is the younger one. She's a lot like me in that she wants to prove her worth to this family. She's determined, and stubborn... but Lizzie... Lizzie is strong. I gave her up for adoption the day she was born. Now she's an adult and I never got to see her grow up. I didn't see her middle school graduation, or her musicals, or be there when she scraped her knee... I wasn't there for any of it." Erin began picking at the lint on her pants.

"And now?" Wells coaxed.

"Now she's gone. Her and my brother, who I thought was dead up until a week ago, disappeared. My daughter thinks that I would be better off without her here to see me through this... process. And I need her here. I need to see her and know that she is okay. Because through all of this, she was the one thing on my mind. Not Nicky. Lizzie threw herself into the fire, and she got herself out of it. She's strong, stronger than I could ever be."

"Does that scare you?"

"Yes. It does. It scares me knowing that I have no idea where she is today or if she is okay. Knowing she is with my brother helps, but it's not enough. But I have to respect her decision to stay away from me, even though it is completely ripping me apart inside. Aside from that, I am so proud of her. She's a full Reagan, even if she wasn't raised one."

"And you just suppose that Jackie is going to open her arms to you when we get there?" Lizzie asked, a little conflicted by her uncle's speed down the highway. He probably should have just taken the cop car so he could use his sirens as an excuse. Ah well, he could always pull out his last name if he ever got pulled over by a rookie cop.

"Look, she's... I need to make sure she is okay." Joe defended as he swerved through the traffic to make sure that we could get to Jackie's apartment in the fastest way possible.

Lizzie pondered this for a moment. There was a lot of water under the bridge that she hadn;'t known about until that day. That would make this confrontation very awkward for all three of them. On the other hand, there was the fact that Jackie had not answered her phone once in the four times Lizzie had called. She understood not talking to Joe, but Jackie had told her she could call anytime. She had not answered once over the span of four hours. "You don't think-" Lizzie started.

"I don't know Liz. That's why we need to go see right now. We need to see her physically standing in front of us in order to confirm her safety. Then we can worry about our relationship."

"And if she's not? Safe, I mean."

He didn't respond after that.

Baker smiled at Erin as she arrived outside of the Commissioner's office. "Hey. I was just thinking about you. How are you?" She asked, getting up from her desk.

"I am alright." Erin nodded.

"That is fantastic. If you need anything at all, let me know." Baker opened the door, swinging forward. "Erin is here, sir," She held the door for Erin before smiling at the two of them and walking out.

"How was your appointment?" He asked as she came to sit across from him.

"It was fine Dad." Erin bit. She hated how that seemed to be the only thing they were talking about these days.

"And how are you feeling?" He continued, pouring her a cup of coffee.

"How am I supposed to be feeling? My daughter left in the middle of the night last night and won't answer my phone calls." She crossed her arms and leaned back against the armchair.

Frank was about to respond, but as he opened his mouth his phone rang. He looked down to see that it was Danny. Concerned that something else had happened, he answered frantically. "Son?" He asked, hoping it was actually his son.

"Dad. Do you know if Jackie is still an active officer? Did she put in some sort of communication that would suggest otherwise?" Danny asked, trying to figure out why his partner had not shown up at the precinct that morning. Her desk across from him sat empty. Jackie didn't miss work. The only time she missed work was when...

"Not that I know of. As you know, I do not keep tabs on every officer. I can have Baker look for you." Frank offered.

Danny seemed to be in his own field of mind because he kept his train of mumbled thought going. "Jackie is my partner. One that was very much involved in the Templar case. She didn't show up to work today and that concerns me. We need to do something!"

"Did you ask Joe? He might know." Frank tried, hoping that his son would actually hear him instead of hearing white noise.

"He won't answer my calls." Danny responded.

"Then send Jamie to check out Jackie's apartment. I will call you back in a bit." Frank said, hanging up and looking back at Erin, who was now wistfully looking out the window.

"Baker! I need you to check something for me!" He called.

Instead of Jamie going, Danny went. He was more concerned about his partner's wellbeing than his brother, and he didn't care that it was going to take a hell of a long time to get there due to his crutches. Jackie mattered. Jackie Curatola mattered to him.

After twenty minutes, he finally made his way up to the fifth story apartment and used the spare key Jackie had told him was under the doormat. He was surprised to find his runaway brother standing in the middle of the apartment with the door wide open.

"What did you find?" Danny asked, internally growling at his brother for letting his niece walk out of their house in the middle of the night.

"Nothing. You? See anything that catches your detective attention?" Joe responded without looking up. He seemed a bit frazzled. Then again, he was in love with Jackie.

Yeah, Danny noticed that one a while ago.

Danny limped into the apartment, taking a look around. It seemed the same as it did the last time he had been there a couple of months ago. "No. She say anything to you?" Danny figured Jackie would probably tell him more than she would tell Danny. He was the best friend, after all, not the dramatic soap opera love interest.

"No. The last time I talked to her was when she was at Dad's house." Joe said, sitting down next to Danny on the couch.

"So please explain to me why you think taking Lizzie away from her mother is a good idea." Danny begged. He hadn't meant to bring it up, it had kind of just happened at that point.

Joe sighed. "I didn't think it was a good idea because it was not my idea. It was Lizzie's. After all she has been through, don't you think she has the right to make her own decisions?"

"Not when her decisions hurt everyone around her!" Danny tensed up, but then relaxed again after feeling massive pain in his leg. It was not worth it to fight with his brother at that moment.

"That's where I think you're wrong. Erin needs this time to fix herself up. She can't do that if she is in constant worry about her daughter's safety." Joe felt like screaming and punching the wall with all of his might; Jackie, Lizzie, Erin... they all needed him and he felt useless. "Do you honestly think I would let anything happen to Lizzie? She's one of us, and she is more than capable of taking care of herself!"

"She may legally be an adult, but she is still a child!" Danny screamed, trying to make his point.

"Danny! Do you think I want this? For our family to split up when we are so close to be together again? I don't want that. I just want everyone to be happy. Erin is not happy. She's getting there, but she needs time. Lizzie needs time too. This isn't forever." Joe looked at his brother sadly, forming a small frown. He took another deep breath. "I just want everything to be right."

"While I really appreciate the fluffy brother moment, I need to bring up the fact that we are here about Jackie right now, not about me. I am fine."

Lizzie stood in front of the two of them with her arms crossed. Her black leather jacket hugged her sides comfortably, and yes, Danny did notice the gun sticking out of her jeans.

"I can't tell! I can't tell if she just left or if she was taken! There were no signs of forced entry and no signs of a struggle. She didn't leave a note, and she left her cell phone here. That either means that she does not want to be found or whoever took her does not want to be found." Joe was saying; Danny observed. He observed the two of them.

Lizzie seemed tired. That was not a biased opinion. Her eyes were swollen, she looked thinner, and she looked like she would crash any second. Her walls were well up, protecting her from all the pain and sorrow she needed to feel and eventually would. Joe also looked tired, but he looked more so concerned with Jackie's present location. By this point, Lizzie had walked into one of the three rooms in the hall.

"Hey guys..." Lizzie started. "I found something..."

The two brothers made their way to the room, Joe helping Danny up from the couch and helping him limp his way over. In the bedroom, Lizzie stood hunched over the nightstand, staring at what appeared to be red blobs running along the sides of the table.

"That seems to be a bit... bad..." Lizzie observed, looking at her two uncles. "But I know that's not enough evidence to convince either way. She could be perfectly fine. Maybe she does not want to be found. Can we really blame her for that at this point down the line?"

"No. We can't."

"What did you find?" Frank later asked Baker after Erin had left. Baker stared back at him, debating how to formulate her words. She had information, but she knew it was information that could possibly hurt him. "Whatever it is, just say it."

"There was a file in the system. It didn't really fit with all of the other ones. It was a high security file- I used your credentials- and I opened it." She started, staring at him from the inferior side of the desk.

"What did it say?" He asked, not wanting fluff.

"Jackie has a child. It went into the system."

Frank was a bit taken aback by this. On a positive note, at least this meant she had not been abducted. Was this another grandchild he let slip between his fingers. "Where?" was all he could ask at that point.

"Chicago." She bit. "Ironic, isn't it?"

"So do you think its okay that we could go to Chicago? I mean, we didn't find Jackie exactly, but I still need to finish up there. Do you think... Jackie is really okay?" Lizzie bit, looking at her two uncles as they made their way down the steps in the apartment building.

"Liz, I really do not know to be honest. She could be perfectly fine. The blobs really mean nothing. It could be nail polish for all we know. It could be leftover paint from when they painted the room..." Joe responded. Danny was still trying to piece it together in his mind. He had the mindset of a detective; he was going to figure this out.

"The room was brown..." Lizzie pointed out.

"Could have been secondhand!" He continued.

"You do realize that this really isn't getting us anywhere, right?"

"I am trying here!"

"Both of you shut up!" Danny cut in. "The red blobs could be blood. I will have them tested. I can take care of this. You guys can go have your Windy City adventure now because I know that having to stay here for Jackie was such a burden for the both of you!"

Lizzie just looked offended. "Seriously, Crutches? You are trying to make us, make me feel bad for wanting to go home? I have a house there! There is a house that is still full of my parents' and my belongings that I need to sort. I need to sell the house because I am fairly certain the house where two people were murdered is not going to define well on the market! I still have senior year to finish! I am going to graduate with my class! And Jackie means a lot to me, so I find it really offensive that you think I am just throwing her away. There is nothing I can do here! She does not want to be found! She probably was sick of being a Reagan shadow. Believe me, I know how that feels. And it sucks."

She began clomping down the stairs at a faster rate, for she didn't want to be in his presence any longer. Joe just turned to look at his brother.

"Really, man?"

"What do you want me to say? Lizzie is going to be gone. Jackie is gone. You're gone. Our family is destroyed."

"For now, maybe. But not forever." Joe gave his brother a bro hug once they reached the bottom stairs. He began making his way out to the car where Lizzie was sitting in the passenger seat with her arms crossed. Once he got in, he just stared at her.

"What? You're my companion, aren't you?"

"Always." He said, turning the key to the ignition, backing out.

Danny stood there, staring at them as they drove away. The pit that had originally made its way into his stomach when he thought about the two of them leaving wasn't as big anymore. He felt fine in a way. It was okay since Lizzie seemed pissed at him anyways.

He pulled out his phone when it started ringing.

"Hey Dad."

"Jackie has a child... and it might be Joe's."


	29. Chapter 29

"So you're telling me that in the last month, all of your actions have been examined by the police department?"

She felt like she was getting attacked by this principal. Her grandfather agreed to taking care of these things. She should not be interrogated about where she was the night of her parents' murder. It was like they blamed her.

Oh wait.

Her Uncle Joe standing behind her seemed like he was trying to not hit the man in front of them. She was fine, to some extent, but it was irritating. Didn't this guy have anything better to do? Why couldn't he just send her on her merry way?

She hated civilians.

"As I stated, I went to find my biological family and stayed with them for a while." Lizzie bit. "I value my education. I know I have missed a month but I am going to make up all of the work I have missed. I am going to graduate with the rest of my class."

"Really? You are in seven classes. That's a month's worth of homework from each class. And you're just going to do all of it in a week?"

"I happen to know that the teachers in this building are extremely flexible. And all of them adore me. I also happen to have a mother that's a prosecutor. You could be considered negligent. She could sue. You don't really want to have to deal with that, do you?"

Joe smirked. Little Erin was a badass.

"So it turns out that my daughter did stick around in New York longer than I had thought. She was bouncing around with the runaway uncle and the uncle on crutches. I personally thought that Danny would be a little more forceful in getting her to come back, but he seems okay with the idea of her leaving, apparently."

"And how did finding this out make you feel?"

"My daughter sent her uncle back with a photo collage with a sticky note on top of it. The sticky note read: 'my dear mother, this is not goodbye. Spent this time to heal, and we will all be together again, eventually.' I read it so many times I memorized it. I spent an hour just studying her handwriting. She has ridiculously good penmanship. And she does this thing where she kind of swirls her S's. I don't know how to describe it, but it's something completely unique to her."

"Do you think Lizzie thinks she is straining your already strained relationship by doing this?"

"I don't know. She has a mind all her own. I don't understand it all that well. I think in her mind she thinks she is doing the right thing, and maybe she is."

"Maybe?"

"Or maybe this will do more damage than it does good. I mean, I don't really know, seeing as it hasn't been forty eight hours yet. She spent all of last night driving to her home place of the Windy City. Well, technically New York is her home place, seeing as she was born here." Erin chuckled satirically. Irony at its finest.

"What was so urgent that it had your daughter planted here rather than getting a head start on her way back to Chicago?"

"My brother Danny's partner went missing. Lizzie cares about her a lot, so she helped Joe dissect the apartment to make sure it wasn't another abduction."

"And what did they find?"

"They think she left by her own choice which I suppose is better than the alternative."

"What is her significance to your family?"

"In addition to being Danny's partner, she also dated Joe for a while. That ended rather badly for reasons I was never made aware of. She is a member of our family to some of us, and others just consider her Detective Curatola."

"And what is she to you?"

"She is a family member, I guess. Her and Linda are the two closest things I will ever have to sisters." That brought another thought to mind: did Erin have any other secret family members she didn't know about? She wouldn't really be surprised at this point.

Lizzie nodded to her uncle as the two of them walked out of the principal's office. Lizzie was going to talk to all of her teachers and see if they could work something out. Joe was going to go do whatever he wanted. Lizzie was a bit more concerned about herself at that current moment.

It took less than a minute for Lizzie to be noticed and questioned. "Elizabeth Johnson... is that you?" Lizzie turned around to see her redheaded best friend Addie coming towards her from down the hall. She squinted, as if to make sure her eyes weren't deceiving her. "I thought... your parents... I'm sorry."

"Thanks. A lot has happened since then. It turns out that I am adopted."

Addie smiled. "You just figured this out now? You look nothing like your parents... I just never wanted to sound rude by asking. We kind of have been best friends for the last twelve years."

Lizzie's heart warmed, just standing there and looking at her best friend. She had missed her so much. She felt bad. Addie must have freaked. She must have called hundreds and hundreds of times to just get her voicemail. "There was never a doubt in my mind. But I met them." Lizzie couldn't help the smile that formed on her face. "I met my biological family, and they are the nicest and most dedicated people on the planet! I am just like them. Except... none of them sing or act, but..."

"Is that where you have been? Hunting down your bio family?" Addie questioned, furrowing her brows in concern.

"Yeah. I went to them for help. They helped me, I guess..."

"So are you here to stay... or...?"

"I came back because I wanted to get my diploma at the same time and same place as you. I don't know if it's too late for us... I really hope its not. Is it? I'm sorry I didn't call you while I was in New York." Lizzie felt nervous all of the sudden.

Addie sighed, playing with the straps on her backpack. "We thought you were dead. We thought we were going to wake up one day and see your picture on the news next to the headline 'dead body found'. No one knew where you went after your parents were found murdered. Were you there?"

Lizzie nodded. She could still hear the gunshots in the back of her brain. Watching her father close his eyes, her mother's hand go limp...

"Oh god, Lizzie..." Addie felt the need to give me a hug for some sort of physical comfort. I flinched in her touch, for old habits die hard. She pulled away. "Sorry." she mumbled.

"So... in other news..." Lizzie paused. "How's Mr. Murray and the crew?"

 _"Peooopppllleee, people who need people..." She sang, on key, but in a rather miserable and not enthusiastic way. She didn't even seem in character, just really sick that she was stuck singing the songs._

 _"Come on Catherine! At least try and pretend you're enjoying it..." Her director, Mr. Murray, seemed to be saying. He looked agitated, if anything. Like if he could have someone else, anyone else, sing it, he would. At some point he turned around and saw her sitting there, a bit amused by the two of them bickering. She immediately stopped smiling._

 _"Who are you?" He asked, clearly having had a bad day, and not enough coffee._

 _"I'm, uh, Mary Russell, I, uh..." She started, clearly nervous he was going to somehow recognize her. "I just wanted to see you guys rehearse. I absolutely love Broadway shows and Funny Girl is my favorite." She started, feeling her confidence go back up. She stood up and started walking towards the stage._

 _"I seem to notice that you aren't very into what you're doing. I think you need a bit more... theatricality. You need to strut that stage and be Fanny Brice. Be Fanny Brice and not be some high school girl that looks miserable playing Fanny Brice. You are standing up there, showing future generations what made Barbra Streisand famous. You need to be a New Yorker that is trying to make her way up there. Getting into the Zigfield Follies even though she has nothing going for her. She doesn't think she will ever find someone to love. Let me try."_

 _And that is how Lizzie found herself standing up on her stage, right where she was supposed to be, singing her song, People._

 _Well you know what they say, people who need people are the luckiest people in the world._

 _She closed her eyes, and she felt like she was back in high school, not some undercover dead girl that was actually apart of one of the most powerful families in the New York Police Department. She felt alive. The only difference was that instead of pretending to visualize her Nick Arnstein, she was imagining her mother and uncles and sister and cousins and grandpa._

 _Because no matter what she did, the thought of them would not leave her mind._

"Hating Catherine Whitfield with a burning passion. Do you know how much he misses you?" Addie's face lit up. "He's going to be ecstatic once he sees you!"

Lizzie felt like she should say no, she wasn't going to talk to her mentor and second father about her dream job. It seemed like it didn't matter after all that had happened.

Then again, it was her that had said she wanted to go back to normal. Her definition of normal was singing on that stage and pouring her heart out. That was her life. No matter how much she would try to tell herself that she should be a police officer or prosecutor in New York City, this was her life.

"Alright. Let's go."

Joe didn't know where he was going. That was the complete and honest truth. He didn't have a particular destination in mind as he walked down the suburban Chicago streets watching the traffic fly by on the street next to him. He didn't know if he would find a little home with a white picket fence where two adults were raising the child he hadn't known existed.

He had some hope in his heart that somehow Jackie would just appear in front of him. She would explain to him everything, why she hadn't told him about their son in the first place.

Maybe things weren't that easy for him. When had things ever been easy for him?

Two lovesick teenagers were walking hand in hand across the street in front of him. He watched the way they looked at each other, and how the girl looked up at her guy with such admiration and hope. She had hope for a future with him. A future with a house and nice jobs and babies and family dinners and...

No pain.

He pulled out his phone, making the decision to call Jackie one more time before calling it quits. Or, trying to call it quits. He could spend his spare time binge watching Grey's Anatomy. That sounded like the only good option at that point.

"Hi, you've reached Jackie-" he rolled his eyes. He had hoped that God would give him one damn thing-

"Joe." She responded. She sounded drained, like she hadn't slept in forever.

"Jack?" He straightened up at the sound of her voice. "Where are you? Are you okay? Are you in danger?"

"I'm fine Joe, I'm just-"

"This child is in the foster care system." Joe heard in the background. His superb hearing cut in and tried to pick up what this person was saying.

Jackie was having a conversation with someone else. "Can I get an address or what? I'm the biological mother. I need her file."

"Well, you signed away your rights-" the lady squeaked in a monotone legalistic voice.

"I'm aware of that." Jackie snapped. "But I had a very specific case that dictated that-"

"Catherine Reagan put her finger on it. I can see that. You don't get special treatment here. You are not in New York. You're in Chicago."

"What if I get a call from the Commissioner? Then what? Or his prosecutor daughter?"

The lady seemed baffled. "Ma'am, I'm just trying to do my job. Those are the rules in our jurisdiction whether you like it or not."

"Jackie, tell them... uh..." Joe needed to do something. He needed to do something so that this bitch would give him his child, their child back. "What do we need to get her?" He asked desperately.

"Joe... we need to talk about this."

"It's our kid, Jack. We need to make sure she's okay."

"Joe... I'm so sorry."

"Let's get our girl back."

"Do my eyes deceive me or is that a Leezl Johnson I see in front of me?"

Lizzie could not help the smile that again found its way onto her face as she found herself hugging the man that had become her second father.

Third father?

Does the rapist one count?

Ugh, bad choice of words.

"Glad to see you're still in one piece." He commented, scanning her over. "We were all really concerned about you. I had a feeling you'd come back to us when you were ready."

She nodded. "Thanks Murray."

"So... are you here to reclaim your role as Fanny Brice?"

Lizzie furrowed her brow. "The show is in three weeks! You never even gave me the role!"

He smirked. "Yes I did. It's not my fault you took some time off. Catherine was just your understudy. The role is yours... if you think you can handle it."

Then it was her time to smirk. "Of course I can handle it. No one is gonna rain on my parade."

Yes, she did belt the last note.

And she did a hell of a job with it.


	30. Chapter 30

**AN: I am sorry I haven't updated in forever! Being mature and having a job during the summer is no fun! Nonetheless, here you go! I got a new computer, and I had a burst on inspiration to finally finish this chapter. It also motivated me to start the next one.**

 **Let's hope the spacing fixed itself. It looked a little weird.**

 **Disclaimer: I don't own Blue Bloods. If I did, I would be wearing an NYPD shirt right now.**

"People... people who need people..."

Lizzie felt twice as content as the first time she had sang it. Guess what? No one was missing or dying (as far as she knew). Her Uncle Danny had called her to tell her that everyone was fine, Nicky was still being a brat, and that her mother was getting better with each day that was passing.

He, of course, felt the need to mention that her mother's therapist had suggested that she go to a meeting with the two of them because it was a necessity for her mother's recovery because part of her trauma came from knowing that her daughter was not near her on purpose. Her mother knew she was fine and knew it was for her, but she still couldn't control her feelings. She was recovering from post traumatic stress. Lizzie felt for her, she did, but she was trying to finish what she had in front of her.

"Alright Johnson take a break. We need to make sure your pipes stay good with all of the extra pressure being put on them."

It was true. Before school, she had one on one vocal practice, during lunch she worked to memorize, and after school she went to practice with everyone else to block out the scenes and learn choreography. When she got home, she did a week's worth of homework before collapsing onto the couch. Her uncle Joe was concerned. She didn't eat much, she didn't sleep much, and she didn't seem to have much of a social life.

Lizzie was exhausted, she was, but the performance was in two weeks time. She just had to get to then and then she would have a lot more time to focus on her schoolwork to get her gpa up. Her cumulative was ridiculously high, and her state scores were high, she just wanted to keep everything as high as she could to open her doors.

She knew she wanted to go to art school. She wanted to sing and dance and perform for the rest of her life. She also wanted to go to New York (duh!), but she hadn't told any of the family yet. She had more pressing issues to worry about.

"Hey Lizzie,"

Lizzie looked up from her bottle of water. It was Ryan, the Ralph to her Leisel. And now, he was the Nicky Arnstein to her Fanny Brice... even though the ending of that story was not so romantic considering he leaves and gets incarcerated.

She had had a crush on him back in the day. It was crazy to think that her only problem at that point was getting Ryan to see her for more than the theatre geek with the braces and big voice.

Had he just noticed her now because she had disappeared and left him to sing with the annoying one?

"Hey." she responded, taking a swig of her water to keep herself from freaking out.

"I am glad to see you're okay. No one knew what happened to you. I was afraid I was never going to get to hear you sing again. It's one of my favorite things about being in these productions with you and getting to sing alongside you." He took a deep breath, finding a stool to sit on. "So, how are you? The stories going around about where you've been are a bit out there, so..."

"I'm adopted." She cut him off. "I met my birth family and decided that I am going to go live with them once this year is over. The rest of what happened is really none of anyone in this school's business."

"Respectfully, I agree with you. I don't care. You could have been pole dancing for all I care!" His smile dissipated. "You weren't pole dancing or anything like that, were you?"

Lizzie just laughed cynically. If only he knew. "No..."

"Johnson! Adams! Get your butts back out here!" Murray screamed from the stage. Ryan stood up from his stool. He held his hand out to Lizzie, who after hesitating, took it with a small smile.

"Let's go, Fanny. Time to make you a star." He said, the smile on his face enough to make Lizzie's face go hot. She just smiled at him and let him lead her to her place, the stage.

"What exactly do we need to do Jack?" Joe asked Jackie, who was leaning in the doorway of the kitchen of Joe's apartment. The two of them had been trying to work this thing out for the sake of their baby who was in a foster home with four other kids.

"Your mother told me that she was gonna be adopted by the Johnsons, but they died before that could happen so they placed her into foster care. I don't know. We don't have jobs here, we would have to do supervised visits and house checks and honestly, we're going back to New York. We're not married, if we even get her back, who's going to have custody? This is going to be ugly."

Joe took a deep breath, swigging his beer. He needed to calm his nerves. The stress of finding out that he had a daughter in the first place was enough for him to reach for the drink. "We are going to share custody. I am not getting into a nasty fight with you. This kid is going to be a Reagan and get the childhood with us that Lizzie never got. I don't care how long it takes. DCFS can bite my ass."

"How much have you drank?"

"Two bottles." Joe lied.

"Are you drinking again?" Jackie felt anger building up inside of her. "This is the reason we lost her in the first place! Because I didn't want my child being raised by an alcoholic father... you were drunk the night she was conceived! I don't want to share her with you knowing you could very well be drinking. We're done." She said, slamming the door on her way out.

"Hey." Lizzie greeted, walking up to the door with her backpack slung over one shoulder. "Is everything okay with you two?"

Lizzie didn't know. Lizzie didn't know that she had a cousin that had gone through the same thing that she had. She had been separated from the Reagans, her family, to protect her. But by doing that, she had been deprived the childhood she deserved and the family that would love her unconditionally.

"Your uncle is a bit drunk." Jackie concluded. "He doesn't get violent or anything like that, but you might want to let him sleep it off."

"Wait,' Lizzie paused. "Has he gotten drunk before? Is this a frequent thing?"

"It hasn't been in a while. But it looks like it is again." Jackie said seriously. "If you need anything, call me. If you want to come stay with me, call me."

Lizzie hesitated. She was not going to let her uncle do anything stupid. She had to be the adult.

"I need to make sure that he is okay, but thanks for the offer."

Jackie nodded. "See you soon, sweet girl."

Jackie growled. Joe falling off the wagon could mean problems in an application to get their daughter back. She wanted him to be a part of this experience, she did, but she needed him to be completely sober and right now he was dealing with something that through him over the edge. It was probably from finding out about their girl.

She was going to find a lawyer all on her own, and she was going to do this.

She was going to get her child back.

"So how are you today?" Dr. Wells asked Erin. Erin was seriously getting tired of the therapy and was beginning to wonder if she could drop out of it right about now.

It was helping her cope, there was no doubt about that, but it wasn't doing much for the major hole in her heart where her daughter was supposed to be. That hole was not going to go away.

Before she had met her daughter, she had spent eighteen years trying to fill that hole to no avail. Nicky had filled a small portion of it, but there was no doubt about the presence of the hole.

"I'm alright." She gritted. "I feel like I am ready to put this all behind me. I want to go home, and I want to be able to go back to work. I want to be able to start putting criminals behind bars again."

Wells pushed her glasses back onto her nose, readjusting her notepad on her lap. "Are you still living at your father's?"

"Yes. He won't let me out of his sight without attaching one of his cops or one of my brothers onto my side. My daughter is a bit sick of all of the attention. She wants to go back to our apartment. I think I'm ready."

Wells wrote something down. "I think you could try it. See how it works out. Maybe have one of your brothers stay with you the first night."

Erin laughed. "Of course... I am such a victim that I cannot stay in my house with my own daughter for one night with the doors locked and the house secured. I am not capable of anything that I used to be because now I have the label of 'victim'. I don't want to be living behind a label. Especially not that one. I was a badass lawyer. I went from being the badass that put these people away to the wimpy ass who was attacked by them."

"You're only living under the label because you think your family will never see you as anything but that. That is not true. You are going to get back on your feet. It may take time, and you may feel overwhelmed but you are going to get through this time of emotional trauma and return to your normal life. You have a whole family to sort your feelings with. You have me to sort your feelings with. It's going to be fine."

For some reason, this struck a chord in Erin. "I am going to be fine, huh? Tell me, have you ever been kidnapped and or sexually assaulted? Have you ever felt so hopeless you willed yourself to die? I started thinking about what I would have said to each of my brothers, my dad... because I did not think I was going to make through him raping me another time. My body was failing, and I knew I was going to have much longer. I should have died in there."

Erin bit her tongue. Had she really just said that out loud?

Dr. Wells seemed a bit taken aback by this. She quickly recuperated and began writing on her notepad again. "So you're telling me that you feel guilty that you made it out of there alive?"

Erin suddenly seemed very eager to leave. "Oh, would you look at the time? It's best I'd be on my way soon! Nice talking to you!" She jumped up from the chair and darted towards the door.

The therapist said nothing as the lawyer let the door slam behind her. She had been on this job for many years and had seen many things. This was not the first time someone had walked out during a session. It was whether or not they came back and admitted to their feelings that made the difference. And Erin was going to come back. She was going to give it three days.

Lizzie took a breath before walking into the apartment. Jackie had told her that Joe was not an abusive drunk. So why did she find herself nervous all of the sudden? She had faced things that were a lot worse in her time. He was a sad drunk, not a mad one.

"Hey Uncle Joe. How are ya?"

He looked up from the beer bottle in his hands to his niece with a blank expression. His expression softened. He never wanted her to see him like this. He had been sober for... well, since the thing with Jackie... and now all of those feelings had been brought up to the surface once again. He needed to drink away the pain, drink away those feelings he had fought so hard to push away.

He began to sob quietly. Lizzie did the first thing any decent human would do, which was pry the beer bottle from his fingers. She sat down next to him and pulled him close, into her shoulder.

She let him sob loudly for what seemed like a while.

"I love her, I love her and she hates me. I feel off the damn wagon again. She doesn't want to raise our child with a drunk! That's how she got pregnant in the first place! Me and my drinking have ruined her life. They ruined our child's life."

Lizzie only knew bits and pieces of their story, but she did know that Jackie loved him. She desperately wanted them to be able to raise this child together. And, the only way that was going to happen was if Joe sobered up. It had been one slip up. She would make sure he went to AA meetings twice a day, and the two of them would work towards getting their baby girl back.

Eventually, Joe's sobs quieted and he felt into a deep sleep that would end with terrible headaches once he woke up in the morning. She slowly put him down on the coach, putting a blanket over him. She got up, smoothed herself off, and retrieved her homework. She had a lot to do.

She sat down with her Calculus book, her paper, pencil, and calculator. She opened the book up to the first set of assigned problems. She started writing it down but was quickly distracted by her uncle on the couch. She just couldn't shut off her damn brain. There were so many things flying through her head. Her mother, her grandfather, her uncles, even her sister to some extent. How had fate or whatever decided it was going to throw all of this at them? What had they done to deserve it?

There was a story there, and it was one that begged to be written. Words were the key to the soul. How would the stories of Romeo and Juliet and Hamlet and Othello and Odysseus have been past down through centuries and countless eras had there not been words? There were two types of words: the vocal kind that bore the emotion and meaning of the communication from person to person and the written kind that spread stories of triumph and success and failure and love and hate and life and death.

The Reagans had a story.

Lizzie put down her calculator and pulled her notebook closer. She flipped it to a blank page and picked up the pencil.

This wasn't just their story; it was hers.

She scribbled her ideas down for a while until she felt her phone vibrate in her pocket. Pulling it out, she saw the current call from Ryan. Lizzie put it to her ear.

"Hi.."

"Hey." He seemed to be taking a deep breath. "Can I come over?"

Lizzie was slightly taken aback by this. "Uhhh... sure?"


	31. Chapter 31

**hey all! oh look, I updated within a week! no way! actually, I am on vacay. went to niagara falls for two days, toronto for two days... going back home via long car ride tomorrow.**

Twenty minutes later, the buzzer for the main door rang. Joe was still out like a light, sleeping off his countless drinks, so he didn't even stir. Lizzie quietly made her way down to the door to open it herself. She was quite curious as to what he wanted.

"Hey." She greeted once he was standing in the hallway of their building.

"Hey." He responded. "I, uh, know this is kind of random, but, I, uh, need, math help?" The last part sounded more like a question than a statement. Lizzie tilted her head in confusion while raising her eyebrow in suspicion. She wasn't getting it.

"Do you really have no friends other than me that you would come to the girl who missed like a month of school for math help? I am still three weeks behind!"

"No you're not! You are still learning with us in class! I know you catch on to this stuff faster than I do!"

Lizzie gritted her teeth. There was obviously some other reason as to why he was here, her inner cop told her. She would interrogate, er, ask him about it later. He couldn't be one of the bad guys, could he? Lizzie had known Ryan since grade school. Unless, someone had talked to him, persuaded him. Lizzie moved her leg around, assured that the gun was still where she had put it this morning. Call her overcautious, but she was not taking any more chances with her family's life.

As the two of them made their way up the stairs towards their apartment, Lizzie suddenly remembered that her uncle was still snoring loudly on the couch, stinking up the whole apartment with his booze breath. What would she tell Ryan? What would he do?

Once they were standing outside the apartment, Lizzie made the decision to scope it out first. "Wait here." She commanded, opening the door and closing it behind her. Her uncle was still passed out on the couch, not moving in the slightest at her entering the apartment. She sighed. Should she try to help him into the bed?

Time must have slipped her by, or Ryan got bored, because he soon began opening the door. Lizzie was so spaced out she forgot time and place and lifted the gun into the small of her back, resting it there with her hand on the trigger. Once he came in, she pulled it out and pointed it at him.

"Woah! Woah!" was his reaction. "Are you crazy? Put the gun down!" She was frozen. She couldn't move. What had she done? What was happening to her?

Lizzie dropped the gun, and with it, she dropped herself to the ground. Hot tears began making their way down her face. At some point down the line, she had become a psychopath. She didn't feel safe with anyone anywhere. Everyone was going to try to hurt them and she had to be the strong one, she had to protect all of them.

Ryan's footsteps came closer and closer to her. He bent down next to her, studying her curled up position. She didn't seem to be in medical distress. "Are you okay? Do I need to call someone?"

She didn't answer and just continued sobbing.

"Alright. I am going to hug you now because hugs make everyone better. Maybe, if I hug you tight enough, all of your broken pieces will just glue themselves together again. Otherwise, you have to feel the sharp edges poking at your insides all the time, begging you to cry and feel their pain. Obviously you want to not cry in front of everyone, but crying just shows that you're strong enough to deal with the broken pieces." He wrapped an arm around her and pulled her shaking frame into him. She didn't flinch, but rather slowly melted into the contact.

Ryan noticed that the dude on the couch hadn't even moved an inch. Was he supposed to be Lizzie's caretaker? Was he too drunk all the time to do it? He needed answers.

"Who is that guy, Liz? Does he-"

"No! He's my uncle. He's- he's- drunk. He-e-e found out-t-t he has a kid with his girlfriend today." She made out between sobs. She couldn't breathe. She couldn't stop huffing and crying. Ryan probably thought she was a crazy overdramatic teenager. Instead, he just hugged her tighter.

"That must be hard on him. And on you."

"He's been staying with me since this whole thing happened. He's family." She sobbed. "I just want everything to get back to normal, but my life is far from normal and will never get back to normal. My adopted parents are dead, my birth father is dead, my birth mom..."

She had made it this far. Pushing away all of her thoughts about Erin and how she was doing, how she was feeling. She was suffering and living and breathing and crying all at once. Much like Lizzie at that exact moment. Lizzie had left her. What was she thinking?

"What about your mom?"

Lizzie shook her head. She slowly released herself from his hold and stood up, wiping the tears away from her face. "She's fine. She's just been through a lot."

Ryan was not going to let the subject drop. "But you've been through a lot too, haven't you?" She just stared at him. "You're hurting, Liz. Don't hold it in."

Lizzie took a deep breath. He had already seen her cry, and he already knew about Jackie's kid and Joe's alcohol, might as well tell him her whole life story, right?

"I was conceived as a result of a rape on my mother. There was a group of guys after my Grandpa because he is the Commissioner. They used me to get to her to get to him. My adoptive parents got killed somewhere in that mess. My mother became a rape doll. They raped her nonstop. And there was nothing I could do about it. I killed my birth father with a gun. I shot my uncle, not him, another one. And I lied to them and left multiple times and I left them to come here because I wanted my life back. I wanted to forget that my mother was living in fear, and that my sister hates my guts."

Ryan just raised his eyebrows in shock. Maybe her story was so outrageous that he would tell everyone that she had lost her mind and belonged in a straight jacket. Instead he just walked up to her and wiped the final stray tear off her face.

"You're brave. Your mother is brave. Your whole family."

Lizzie just nodded. "I started writing a song about them." She walked back to the notebook from earlier and picked it up. "I think that their story is one that should be told. Not all the gorey details, but how my grandmother brought me back to them even though she's gone. My sacrifices, their sacrifices... and how we will all be together again soon."

"This is a good start. Have you ever composed?"

"No. I was never big on my piano playing."

"Can you sing it for me so I can hear what you have in mind?"

Lizzie nodded, gripping the lined paper in between her fingers. "Cause there is a storm to weather, right now, and I don't want to feel the pain. but when I'm with you, right here, I know we can weather the storm."

"Can I take this?" He asked, motioning to the paper. She nodded, releasing her grip. "I should probably get going, you know, the math isn't going to do itself." He started making his way towards the door.

With everything that happened in that little span, Lizzie had forgotten to ask. "Hey Ryan, why did you come here? I know it was not because of the math."

He turned around. "I wanted to see how you were doing. I knew something was up. You're not the same person that was walking those halls last year. I will see you tomorrow at play practice." And with that, he walked away, letting the door slam behind him.

Even when she had tucked herself into her bed later that night, his words still rung in her mind. _You're not the same person..._

Erin made her way to her office just like she would have on any other day pre-life altering event. People said hi to her on her way in, gave her unusual looks, you know, the usual.

Her secretary looked somewhat relieved to see her.

"Ms. Reagan!" She exclaimed once she saw Erin heading down the hall to her office. She gave the lawyer a hug, despite the slight wince Erin gave in response.

"How are you? I've missed you around here!"

Erin wanted to talk to her, she did, but the pitch of excitement in her voice made her want to vomit. So, she motioned to her office weakly and began in that direction.

She made it and sat in her comfortable spinny chair that she had missed dearly with a _plop._

She sat there for a moment. Then, she opened her drawer to pull out the pictures.

 _"Why didn't you tell me? Why didn't you tell me you had a daughter! She was my niece. I could've helped you raise her! Linda and I would have taken her in! You didn't have to give her up for adoption!"_

 _"That's not why I did it Danny!" Erin bit back._

 _"What was your reasoning then?" Danny pushed._

 _"I needed to protect her!"_

 _"Protect her from what? She was born into a family of cops, one of them the Police Commissioner! What couldn't we protect her from?"_

Erin leaned back on her chair. She couldn't protect her. No, her daughter had gotten sucked into a big mess- one that had ruined both of them.

"Our lives are a mess."

She looked up to see her crippled brother standing in the doorway.

"Yes." She agreed. "Come look at these pictures." She laid them out on the desk in front of her, ranging from newborn Lizzie to broadway star Lizzie.

Danny limped over and threw himself in the client chair on the other side of the desk. He rotated newborn Lizzie with his finger and let out a smile.

"She looks like you did when you were born, Er."

"You weren't old enough to remember that! We aren't that many years apart!"

"Yeah well I do remember it cause guess what Er? It was one of the best days of my life! When I saw your little scrawny body I vowed to protect you from all of the bad guys. That still applies today."

Erin sighed. "You did your part. You took a shooting in the leg from your own niece for me!"

"Yeah. But it wasn't enough." He responded, defeat loud and clear in his voice.

"What would be enough? They would've gone to all extents to get what they wanted. It was enough. You might not believe it, but it was enough."

Jackie knew what kind of trouble she could get into if she got caught. She could go to jail. She would most definitely lose her job and her badge. But she couldn't help it. This was her child. She had delivered her, not even getting the chance to hold her... she was going to do everything in her power to reunite them. Even if that meant doing some illegal things in the meantime.

She got out of her car, sunglasses on her face. Holding her police badge in her hand, she began making her way to the door.

What would she say? She didn't even have a legit reason... or a Chicago police badge for that matter. She was on very, very thin ice, and she knew it.

She walked up to the fence that separated the rest of the world from that little playground in which countless little children were running freely without a care in the world. It made her smile, it reminded her that there were still innocent people on this planet that had not yet been exposed to the evils that preyed on them.

One little girl caught her eye, her long, curly dark hair pulled back into a braid. She turned around from her current action and saw Jackie. She _smiled_ at her. That was when Jackie knew.

She stood there watching this kid, her kid, run around and play with the other little stinkers. She looked so happy, so carefree... and to take her away from that would be... selfish.

She didn't even notice that a teacher had walked up to her.

"Hello. Are you here to speak to the kids? I don't remember seeing anything about police visits."

Jackie looked over at the woman. Her curly hair pulled back into a bun; and her glasses were riding the bridge of her nose. She had forgotten she was still holding her police badge in her hand. She froze. Should she go along with it?

Nope. She couldn't. She wasn't going to risk ruining the Reagan name, again.

"No. I didn't mean to intrude or anything. I just needed a reminder that there is innocence in this world. These kids... they don't know pain. They see the world as what it should be, which is a beautiful place where people get what they want and what they need. There is no murder, no pain, no scandals. The only pain they know is a skinned knee. There is still some innocence in this world, and it is mostly held by these kids."

The teacher then looked stressed. "If I believed that one of the kids was being abused, would you be able to do something about it?"

Jackie nodded without thought. Even if she didn't have police power, she would do anything in her power to help.

"It's that one." She said, pointing her finger at one of the kids.

What broke her heart was that the kid she was pointing at...

It was her kid.


	32. Chapter 32

**As many times as I opened this and stared at it, I couldn't find how I wanted this chapter to go. I think that this is the right direction.**

"Hello, gorgeous." Lizzie greeted herself in the mirror. Except she was no longer Lizzie, but rather Barbra Streisand. It was a dream come true to stand up on her high school stage and reenact a classic musical that I had watched for my whole life.

My uncle wasn't in the audience, as far as I knew. He had disappeared from the apartment when I was at school one day and hadn't been back since. I knew I should have been more concerned with where he was cause he could have been at the bottom of a ditch wasted and dying, but instead I just focused on my own life.

I knew I had my own set of problems. I was definitely post traumatic as seen with that episode with Ryan. I didn't know how to process these feelings. I knew pushing them aside as I had been doing would do no good and probably make things worse. However, I didn't see what I could do. I had no support system at the moment, and I had way too much on my mind to think about. College applications, state tests, graduating... those were more important than how I felt.

"Miss Fanny?" I didn't respond. I was lost in my own thoughts. "Miss Fanny?"

"Down here, Emma. Third row." I responded, still in my own bubble.

"I came in early to tidy up, and the doorman said you were in. What you doing out there?"

"The one place in the theatre I've never sat. Maybe things look different from here." Maybe she was right. Maybe what I needed was a change in my perspective. To look at things from the outside, rather than the inside.

"You nervous?" She continued, reading off the script like the words had no meaning. I, on the other hand, felt that this script was an accurate reflection of my life at that current moment.

"Nervous, happy, scared, excited..." _Alone..._

She knew that she shouldn't have been so selfish as to expect her family to be in the audience, but she really wanted them there. She wanted them to see her as what she was before all of this stuff had happened. Her life was playing pretend and singing her heart out, not fighting the bad guys and dealing with PTSD.

She wanted to give her mom a hug, mostly. She wanted to take in her warmth. She wanted the security and calamity she felt when she was with her uncles. She wanted the pride and true unconditional love she felt with her grandfather.

Lizzie had not know these people for a long time, but she knew that they were her family now. She really wanted them to be there. Taking a deep breath, Lizzie continued playing her character.

….

"Hi there! I am Detective Curatola. I work with the police. What's your name?"

"My name is Jovanna." She mumbled softly. She wouldn't meet the detective's eyes. She couldn't meet the detective's eyes. Her 'parents'- that is, the people who 'took care' of her always told her that police were bad. You couldn't tell them anything, otherwise bad things would happen.

And yet, she looked at this detective, and she felt something she had never felt before. It was... warmth, or safety, or something. Jovanna couldn't describe it. She had never known this feeling in her whole life. It was a pretty short life, granted, but nonetheless.

"I just want to get to know you." The detective was saying. "You can call me Jackie."

Jackie. Hm.

"I am twee years old." She continued.

Jackie wouldn't take her eyes off of the girl. "And do you live with your mommy and daddy?"

The girl tensed. Jack noticed this, of course, and she had her answer. The girl's sudden lack of comfort, hesitation in her answers... it was everything a kid that was being abused was trained to do. "You can tell me anything Jovanna. I am not going to hurt you. The only thing I can do is help you."

Jovanna just stared at her. What should she do? Her parents told her not to. Then again, her parents also burned her with an iron. Maybe they were the wrong ones here. She subconsciously moved her hand to rest on her opposite arm. They had burned her before sending her to the daycare, and it still burned. Jackie noticed this too. "Is something wrong?"

To trust Jackie or to not trust Jackie...

"It hurts."

….

Lizzie wiped the tears off of her face. Whether or not these tears were directed at the fact that her husband Nicky Arnstein had just left her she was not sure. She still felt so alone, standing up there. That was the point, wasn't it?

"Oh my man I love him so... he'll never know..."

It was then that she saw them. Sitting in the second row. Her sister. Her uncles. Her grandfather. Her great grandfather.

Her mother...

"For whatever my man is... I am his... forever more!" She hit that note. She hit that note with all she had inside of her. She could feel all of the air leaving her. She felt powerful. The tears kept coming. She put her hands up in the air and held it out.

The orchestra boomed its last note, and Lizzie stopped to strike the pose. Her eyes were closed, mostly because she was hoping that the tears would stop the burning from the stage lights. The applause was loud. It was really loud. It just kept going. It wouldn't stop.

When Lizzie opened her eyes, she knew why. The whole audience was standing. She was moved, so very moved by their gratitude. Was this what it was like to be famous? A part of her ate away in guilt. After all she had put everyone through, she didn't deserve this moment of glory.

During the curtain call, Lizzie was spaced. She couldn't focus. She couldn't see. When Ryan walked out to the middle and everyone began clapping for him, Lizzie froze. He tilted his head at her. She was supposed to be out there with him! But, she couldn't move. She had lost all feeling in everything.

She went out there with him and smiled numbly. Once the curtain closed, she didn't budge. Ryan ran over to her once he noticed that she hadn't moved. "Are you okay?"

Lizzie couldn't respond. She was numb. It was all blurry. Everything was blurry. She couldn't breathe. The air was going in too fast and coming out too fast.

"What is the problem?" Another voice. Murray.

"I think she's in shock or something."

"Well, help her sit down!" Murray commanded.

Ryan, she thought, helped her get back to her dressing room chair. He handed her a water bottle. He looked at her with concern. "What's wrong?"

All she could see was him. His hands on her mother. His face when she had shot him. Her parents' lives ending in front of her face. It all flashed before her eyes. Her mother's proud smile in the audience. Why was she proud? She hadn't done anything well! She needed to get out of here!

"Ryan," she mumbled quietly, so quietly he probably didn't hear her. Except he did, and he was at her side immediately.

"What can I do?"

"Need fresh air." She mumbled. He helped her off of the chair and slowly walked her through the door into the night. The school lights provided the only illumination as he led her to the bench.

"That ending was killer. It was the best you've ever done." Ryan complimented. "I don't think it was from a place of acting though. I think that something went through your head tonight, and it scared you. I don't mean to get all psycho babble on you, because I don't, but I'm here for you if you want to tell me."

Lizzie could finally feel her heart relax in her chest. She took a deep breath.

"I saw the man that I murdered. I saw him murder my parents. I saw him rape my mom. And the worst part? I was singing to him, in a way. He was my father. And somehow, inside me, I feel that I love him. He murdered my parents and raped my mother twice, but I still feel like..."

Ryan didn't hesitate in wrapping an arm around her and formulating a response. That could only mean two things: he was lying or he was a keeper. "That's okay. He's your father. No matter what he's done."

"That's why I freaked out. I saw my mother in the audience smiling at me and I thought of her in pain with him. That's when I realized I wasn't singing to just anyone. I am such a psycho nutjob." She laughed satirically. Of course this would happen to her.

"You are not. You have gone through some pretty crazy stuff."

"I know. You're telling me." Lizzie laughed again.

"Admissions from NYU and Julliard were in the audience tonight." Ryan mumbled quietly. "I think they were looking for you backstage."

Lizzie sat up, fixing her hair subconsciously. "Are you kidding me?"

"No. I think it had something to do with your rich New York family, though."

"I don't think so. I think it was all Murray with his connections that he likes to brag about but only uses when appropriate for him."

Lizzie stood up from the bench, dusting herself off. She rubbed the tears from underneath her eyes and walked back into the building. The dressing room backstage had emptied out notoriously and the only person left standing there was Murray.

"Lizzie, there's someone I would like you to meet. This is my friend Harv, from Julliard admissions."

Lizzie's heart skipped a beat. Her dream come true!

"Miss, I saw something tonight that I have not seen in a very long time. That last song you did was full of raw emotion. It might not have been for the intended purposes, but it created a scene that was so raw and so passionate. You don't see that in every high school show. Come to think of it, you don't see it in a tenth of all high school shows. Now, it is my understanding that you hope to move to New York next year to continue your education in the arts..."

Lizzie nodded aggressively.

"Then call this number when you're in town. Admissions will make time for you." She got handed a card. The card. The Julliard wants you card.

"Thank you so very much, sir."

"No, thank you. I may have cried just a little bit during your performance. I was moved. Thank you." The man walked away. Lizzie stood there with her mouth handing open, and Murray just looked smug.

"Also, there's a group of people sitting out there in the audience waiting for you. They've been waiting for quite a while from what I understand. Keep this family, Leezl, they're good for you."

Lizzie stood in that spot, clutching the card in her hand for she didn't know how long. She didn't know if she was ready to go down there yet and face them. She was afraid that if she did, that guilt and whatever had come before her would come out again and they wouldn't be able to snap her out of it.

"Julliard girl. Can you hook me up?" Ryan called from behind her. She turned to smile at him.

"Did you get anything?"

Ryan swallowed. "No. But I don't really know if I want to keep acting in the future. I don't think that's really my strong suit. I think something with music would serve me better. That song you gave me, I was so happy trying to find a guitar cord that went with it. It felt so... natural."

Lizzie walked, attempting to close the gap between them. "I think you should come to New York with me."

"What?" Ryan was slightly taken aback by this comment. He had plans to go to... somewhere.

"Come study there. I want to show you my city. I thought Chicago was city, but it's not. It's New York. And New York is beautiful and... come with me."

"Lizzie..."

She didn't know if that was the right time to run at him and push her lips against his, but then again, she never really had good timing with anything. To her surprise, he kissed her back. It wasn't that awkward tongue stuff. It was passionate and...

Happiness bloomed inside of her. Whatever she had been feeling earlier that night had diminished entirely. She had Julliard. She had Ryan. Maybe she had her family. Even if she didn't, she still had places to go.

Lizzie slowly pulled her lips off. "I want you to meet my family, and then later... we can continue this..." she smiled. She took his hand and pulled him out to where the Reagans were all sitting.

"I'm so glad you're all here. I am sorry I didn't invite you personally, I have been really caught in all of this stuff. A Julliard rep gave me his card. They want me to audition for Julliard!"

"Lizzie! That's amazing." Lizzie's smile faded when she turned to face her mother. Her mom. She couldn't stop herself as she ran at her mother and threw herself into her arms.

"I am so proud of you baby. You're truly a star."

Lizzie couldn't stop the tears that began coming down her cheeks.

Danny soon cut in. "This is all very sweet, but that Chinese restaurant we passed on the way here had a discount hour. Let's go! And Lizzie, you better introduce me to your boyfriend!"

Ryan looked terrified.


	33. Chapter 33

The group ordered a big table and all put their jackets down. Lizzie noticed her sister giving her looks from out of the corner of her eye. She really thought they would have gotten over this by now. Lizzie did not tell them to come see her show nor did she invite them. She had subconsciously asked them to come, but she did not ask them. Her sister needed to grow up.

She could see Ryan chatting it away with Jamie, hopefully about some guy thing that would get Ryan under high regards in their high standards family. Erin was smiling at Danny. Everyone seemed happy. Everything seemed normal. Linda was in NYC with the kiddos because she couldn't get the time off, and her uncle Joe...

Lizzie pulled out her phone, hoping that she had missed ten calls from her uncle and Jackie combined. What was going on with them, besides the obvious? She decided on calling her uncle.

"Leezl." He greeted. He didn't sound drunk that time, which was good.

"Where are you?" Lizzie asked. "I was wondering why you weren't at my show."

She could hear noise in the background. Wherever he was, there were lots of people and lots of machines. "Jackie took our kid to the hospital. Turns out she was being abused in a foster home. What a surprise."

Lizzie's mouth dropped. "Is she okay?"

"The doctor is checking her out now. How was the show? I am so sorry I forgot, I was-"

"It was like no other show I have ever done. I felt something out there tonight. I can't describe it, but it was something magical. A Julliard rep spoke to me." Lizzie said, knowing that it wasn't really that important to him when his kid was at the hospital.

Lizzie could feel the smile on her uncle's face from the other side of the phone. "Lizzie! That's amazing! You're going to go to one of the best schools in the world!" She couldn't help but smile too.

"So... I am at dinner with the whole Reagan family..."

"Oh goodness. All of them?"

"Linda and the boys stayed home. Nicky is back to hating me, and Danny is giving my boyfriend a run for his money."

"Boyfriend?" Her uncle shrieked through the phone. Shoot. Had she said that out loud? Had she simply made an assumption when she knew that she had kissed him, and that meant absolutely nothing? That seemed about right. And now, all three of her uncles were going to go after him.

That was not good.

"Tell Jack I love her. I'll talk to you later." Lizzie mumbled, pulling the phone away from her ear. She really wanted to know what was going on with the kid, but she didn't know how to tell them. She didn't know how to tell them that she knew Jovanna. Jovanna was going to come live with her and her parents back before all of this happened. She was living with them until that last day. She had been at a play date. She never made it back, and Lizzie knew she couldn't take care of the child herself. Lizzie had assumed some other nice family had taken her in, but never in a million years had she thought that this would happen.

She wondered if Jovanna would recognize her. She didn't know how she could tell them that she had known all along about who she was, from the minute she had met Jackie. She hadn't known which one of her uncles was the sperm donor, but she knew. She had put the pieces together.

"Liz?" She turned around at the sound of her own name. Her own mother was standing there with her arms crossed. She looked concerned. "Is everything okay with you?"

How could she respond? How could she lie to her mother? She felt happy in that moment, yes, happier than she had felt in a very long time, but something was wrong. Something was going to go wrong. She could feel it. "Just thinking about the future and stuff."

Erin let out a deep breath, walking towards her daughter. She slowly took her daughter's hand into her own and walked her to the quieter side of the restaurant and sat her down on a bench. Erin looked at her daughter again, more sternly this time. "What's going through your mind?"

Lizzie took a deep breath. "Julliard had been my dream for as long as I can remember. And I would be in New York with you guys pretty close. But something about it feels wrong. I don't what, but..."

"A lot has happened. Maybe you feel weird with worrying about normal teenager problems. When I was your age..."

Lizzie cut her off. "When you were my age you had a lot more on your shoulders. I know that being pregnant with me took a lot out of you. It ruined you."

Erin grew slightly irritated. "At the time, yes, I was frustrated. But I wasn't frustrated because I was pregnant. I was frustrated because I couldn't keep you. I had to protect you. Had I gotten pregnant just by having sex, I would have kept you. I would have raised you. I would have given up my career. I didn't need to be a lawyer. I wanted to be your mom. But I couldn't be your mom. Sex and making babies is human nature. But forced sex... _rape_... it changes a person. I didn't think about you, I thought about him getting you. I couldn't get the image out of my head." She shook her head. "I want you to be happy. If that means going to acting school, then go, if it means living with me and being a hermit crab, then do that. If it means running off and forgetting this family because God knows it threw you in the ringer, then so be it. Liz, I love you with every fiber in my being. I will always be proud of you no matter what decision you make. I just hope to be around to see it."

Lizzie looked at her mom. "I never said..."

"I know what you meant."

Lizzie threw her back against the bench. She felt guilty. "Things were bad for you, and I got out easy... that's not fair."

"You're not me. You're you. You have your own story. This is your story, Lizzie. We are all characters in our own stories. The difference is, we control the ending. We control where we end up. It also depends on where you chose to end the story. This moment, right now, might be your happy ending. It might not be. You get to choose your own ending. You get to choose where you end, with whom you end up. You wrote this story. You get to write the ending."

Lizzie sat up. "I know what I need to do." She said. She looked back at Erin. "Mom, I'm just... you're my hero. You're my hero and I love you and I will be with you. I will come back to New York and we will get to know each other the right way. This is not how the story ends. It doesn't end with me walking away from you, it ends with me coming back to you, when I'm ready."

Lizzie walked away from her mom, leaving her sitting there, alone.

...

Danny and Jamie turned around, looking at the two teenagers in the back seat. They were pulled up in front of Joe's apartment building. They were not happy about dropping the two of them off there.

"Why is he coming up with you, again?" The two uncles looked back in disgust at him. Okay, they actually really liked the kid, but they didn't want him getting any ideas. They knew that Lizzie could protect herself, and they also knew they couldn't do much to stop her.

"I need his help with something."

"Yes, we know what that something is." Danny mumbled in disgust.

Lizzie growled. "He's helping me write music!"

"Sure. Just make sure you're wearing clothes when you do it though. You know, our whole family is cops. We can make sure you don't get out from behind bars ever again." Danny chirped happily. "I carry around a gun, and so does Jamie, and Joe."

Lizzie rolled her eyes. "You guys are ridiculous. See you in the morning." She dragged Ryan out of the car with her arm. He looked at her uncomfortably.

"Twenty minutes ago they were laughing with me about sports, now they're threatening with guns!" He squealed, almost like a little boy. "I am a bit concerned."

"They're just trying to scare you, and it looks like it worked." Lizzie pulled out her key to the apartment and opened it, walking in.

Ryan followed, not paying much attention to where he was going. "Yes it did! Your whole family is cops!"

Lizzie pushed the door to the apartment open. "I do need your help with a song. That wasn't a lie." She dropped her purse on the chair and walked into the other room to grab the guitar. She found it, sitting in the corner where she had left it. She was about to grab it, when she saw herself in the mirror. Today had been one of the greatest days of her life. She had gotten her family back, she had gotten talked to about the school of her dreams, and the guy she had had a crush on since the sixth grade was with her. There was only one more thing that could make this truly the best day. She smirked. She turned around and walked back into the living room.

"Ryan..." Lizzie started. She pulled off her shirt, standing in front of him in only a bra. Ryan looked at her with an eyebrow raised.

"Are you sure you want to do this? Maybe you're not ready." Ryan started, looking at her uncertainly. She just stared back at him.

"What makes you say that? Just because it's my first time? Because I am only here because of a rape? Because my mother was raped so many times she doesn't even know? I have been thinking about all of those things for such a long time that it doesn't even phase me anymore. I am not doing this with you to prove that I can. I'm doing it because I want to. Because I love you. Today was one of the greatest days of my life. There is only one thing missing to make it the greatest." She stared at him pleadingly.

Ryan just stared at her some more. He really did not want to do this if it was going to hurt her. She just stood there, thinking about how she was going to shoot him if he said no.

"Okay. But we will stop if..."

Ryan was cut off by Lizzie running at him. And jumping into his arms. He caught her, kissing her back passionately on the lips. He ran his hands up and down her back. He walked them into the bedroom. She helped him pull his shirt off. He fell backwards onto the bed, letting her fall on top of him. They made out for a while, until Lizzie stopped. She began ripping his pants down. She pulled her pants down, and let her panties fall with them. She plucked the bra off, adding it to the pile of clothes as an afterthought.

"Are you sure-"

"Would I be kissing you if I wasn't?"

...

Jackie had been sitting with her child in the emergency room for the last six hours. They had done a police statement, cleaned all of the burns, and done a rape kit. They were still waiting on the results. Joe had been sitting in the waiting area for that same amount of time. Neither of them knew what they were going to do with the situation that had been thrown at them. They both wanted this child more than anything in the world, yet neither of them knew how to raise a child, let alone one that had already been traumatized at such a young age.

Jovanna had been quiet. Remarkably quiet. Jackie might not have known she was there, had she not been looking at her for the past six hours. She looked like her mother, undoubtedly, but those eyes were all Joe. She knew that every time she looked at them, she would be reminded of him.

And what would she do with him? What would she say to him when he eventually came through that door? She loved him. She loved him more than words could describe. She knew that if she loved him, though, things would get messy. They always did. They could never stay clean in this world.

"Detective Curatola." The nurse who had performed the kit earlier walked over to them, pulling the curtain to give them some privacy. "These lab results show that Jovanna has indeed been..."

Jackie blurred her out. She could not hear those words. She could not hear those words come out of that nurse's mouth. Was this some kind of sick joke from God? What god would allow this to happen to a child? "We can perform the DNA test now if you would like." She snapped back to the present.

"I'm sorry, what?"

"You believe that this is your child. We can perform the DNA test now. That should help you be granted temporary custody for now and permanent custody later."

Jackie nodded. "We'll do it."

The nurse motioned to Joe, sitting in a chair on the other side of the ER, bobbing his leg nervously and staring in the other direction. "He keeps asking about you, so I can only assume that..."

"We're pretty sure he's the father."

Jovanna, on the other hand, was completely spaced out. She had been since they had gotten there. She hated hospitals. She hated needles. She hated people touching her. She didn't know much about the detective who had brought her here, but she kept holding her hand and not yelling. She hadn't said much, she didn't know what to say. Although the detective was now talking about a father. If it was her father, she wanted him to come get here right about now.

The nurse walked away with a sample from Jackie and tromped over to Joe. She chatted with Joe for a while before he stood up and walked back over to them with her.

"Hi," he greeted cheekily, looking first at Jackie, and then at the little girl. This was the first time he had gotten the opportunity to see her up close. She was a mini Jackie, but with his eyes. She looked at him solemnly. Her face didn't change. He felt like the world had already trampled her. They had taken every shred of innocence left and stomped all over it.

"So... DNA samples?"

"Yes." Jackie responded. "We're going to get custody and take her home tonight."

"And me?"

"You're coming with me, aren't you?"


	34. Chapter 34

**this chapter is lonnnnggggg. you're welcome :)**

Lizzie stared at him. That had been... interesting. They always said that the first time was the most awkward, the most inexperienced. Lizzie grabbed the sheet, wrapping it around herself. She picked up the guitar from where it had been thrown across the floor. Strumming, she began to hum.

"What is that you're playing?" Ryan asked, rolling over to look at her.

"I wasn't lying. I needed your help writing the song. My mom said something to me tonight that really stuck. She said that we are all the writers of our own stories. We write our own endings. I think that should be like, the catchphrase of our show."

"So... um..." he started. He clearly still felt awkward about the whole situation. They had done it. Did that make them dating? Were they friends?

"Ryan." Lizzie groaned. "Don't overthink this."

"What was this, Liz? Was this you just wanting to have sex, or do you actually love me?"

Lizzie put down the notebook she was holding in her hand and turned to look at him. "How many times do I have to tell you that I love you?"

"But do you really? Like, that can't-eat-can't-sleep-reach-for-the-stars sort of love?"

Lizzie dropped her eyebrows. "I don't know. We aren't Meredith Grey and Derek Shepherd. This isn't some epic story. I have loved you since the day I met you. I didn't think you would ever feel the same way... but now I'm not sure."

"Of course I do. I wouldn't have done this if I didn't. I'm not one of those guys." He sat up. "Do you think that?"

Lizzie shrugged. "I don't know. Can we please work on the song?"

Ryan looked at her, frowning. He slowly picked up the guitar and faced her notebook, filled with her chicken scratch, towards him. He picked a chord, and let his fingers fall across the strings. He looked back up at her. She was distancing herself again, and he was determined to break that shell.

...

"C'mon! We're going to have a slumber party! It's going to be so much fun!" Jackie smiled at the little girl, clutching her hand. She had not said a word the whole ride to the apartment. Joe had insisted that they go back to the apartment since Joe owned it, and not to a hotel room.

Joe opened the door, leading into a relatively untouched living area. He could hear the strums of the guitar and his niece singing. He let the door slam behind him, Jackie, and Jovanna. He heard the strumming stop, then the sound of feet on the floor.

"Someone is here!" Lizzie hissed to Ryan, and the both of them scrambled to put clothes on. She was not in the mood for another lecture from her three uncles. Once one of them knew, they all knew.

Lizzie threw on a sweatshirt and sweatpants before walking out into the main room.

"Izzie!" Jovanna squealed at the side of the girl, running towards her and attaching herself onto her 'sister's' leg. Lizzie furrowed her brows. This escalated quickly. Jackie and Joe both stared at this sight with widened eyes.

"Lizzie." she began. "Does she know you from somewhere?"

Lizzie ignored her for that moment, lifting her sister into her arms. To her surprise, the girl didn't flinch at her touch. She must've remembered those days in her life before she was placed into other living arrangements. She associated those times with being happy.

"How's my favorite girl? I missed you!" She tickled the youngster, and Jackie and Joe gaped at the sight of their daughter laughing.

"Izzie stop!"

"Elizabeth Reagan." Her uncle started. Lizzie looked at him, her face now serious. "How does Jov recognize you? She's never met you before..."

Lizzie took a deep breath. "That's not true. She lived with me and my parents. They were going to push forward with the adoption, but they never made it there. After I left, I didn't think about her. She wasn't at home when it happened. I knew social services would take her to another family. It wasn't like they were going to let me see her or keep her."

"And it didn't once occur to you while you were here and listening to us talk about our child?"

"No. Because it would be a really ironic twist of fate if both of the Reagans that were put up for adoption ended up in the same city with the same parents. That would mean that we live in a really small world, wouldn't it? I'm sorry I didn't say anything earlier. I wasn't trying to lie to you. I was putting the pieces together."

Jackie moved forward, as if to take Jovanna back from Lizzie's arms. Jovanna hesitated, inching forward into Lizzie. Lizzie sensed this, and quickly talked to the girl. "Hey Jovie... you see that lady over there?" The girl slowly moved her head, leaning it against Lizzie's chest, staring at her mother. She gave a slight nod. "That's your mama. And you see that guy over there? That's your daddy."

The girl shook her head. These were not the same people that claimed to be her mommy and daddy earlier. That was before the other mommies and daddies hurt her. She didn't understand her sister. Her sister was safe, that much she knew but...

"You know how mommies make babies in their tummies?" Lizzie tried. The girl nodded. "You came from her tummy. She had to go away for a little while, but she's ready to be your mommy now. And I'm going to be your best buddy again, alright?"

The girl hesitated again, then nodded.

"Slow but steady." Lizzie said, directing it at the new parents. "Slow and steady."

The moment would have been perfect had Ryan not walked out of the bedroom in only his boxers. Lizzie blushed, and Ryan quickly ducked back into the bedroom. Jackie let out a laugh, giving Lizzie a pat on the shoulder, and Joe looked like he wanted to beat the crap out of Ryan.

...

Lizzie stared at the tombstones. They were almost mocking her. Haha. Look at your life and your bad streak! Your birth mom was raped, your parents were murdered, your mother was raped again, you killed men, and you shot your uncle for no reason.

Haha. Life's a bench, ain't it?

"Hi Mom, Dad. Sorry about all of the commotion the last time I was here. I didn't know what I was doing. Walking around with some wig, disrespecting you both. I am here to apologize. For that and for all the bratty things I did as a child. I don't think I was particularly bratty, but I was an only child who always got what she wanted, so..." Lizzie stopped to chuckle halfheartedly. She pulled her cardigan more tightly around herself as the wind blew. It was awfully cold for May... maybe she should have brought a jacket.

"So I'm auditioning to get into Julliard. My dream school. It's in New York, so I will be living there. I will come and visit you, though, from time to time. I have family there, they will keep me company. At least you two have each other. And I know it in my gut that you would be screaming in joy if you were here right now. My first word was Julliard. Not mama. Not dada. Not cookie. Julliard. I am surprised they invited me in. I was such a mess. Maybe it was the name on my application. Elizabeth Francine Johnson-Reagan. I may have mentioned that Frank Reagan, NYPD Commissioner, was my grandfather." She chuckled again.

"I'm so sorry you died. Mom. Dad. If you weren't my parents, Jovanna wouldn't have-"

"I'm sorry. Not just for this, but for everything." A voice ripped away Lizzie from her thoughts. Her thoughts told how she was an orphan and that the parents she had known her whole life were gone, and how the New York family cared so much that they had literally driven halfway across the country.

It was her mother. Erin. She looked away when she immediately felt more tears in her eyes. Erin stepped closer to her. "I'm sorry for giving you up in the first place. You might not have had this life, but you still would have had a good life. That was a mistake."

"You should've just aborted me. I wasn't meant to be born. I was an inconvenience to you and your whole family. Look what happened to your mother. Look what happened to my parents. They're dead because of me. Jovanna ended up in bad foster care. The kind that people write about. That wouldn't have happened if-"

Erin cut her daughter off. She wasn't sure how many times she was going to have to tell her that she was important and that she needed to treat herself better. "You and Nicky are the two greatest things that have ever happened to me. Maybe I wasn't too ready at the time, but I'm ready now. Your parents knew the risks, and they died protecting you. Come back to New York with me. Study in New York. That's what you wanted, right? Your parents would have wanted you to be happy, and to have a family."

"I just... Needed to come back here. To see this place one more time. Finish what my parents started. You understand that, don't you?" Lizzie questioned, feeling she was going to get scolded for standing in the middle of a cemetery.

"I could've come with you. You didn't have to do this by yourself." Erin started sounding like her assistant district attorney self again, and not an emotional scarred rape victim. It made Erin feel more back in place. And she didn't sound mad, per say. She just sounded worried the young adult might disappear into the dust again.

"But I wanted to. I'm an adult, I don't need you following me around." Lizzie crossed her arms.

"Even though there were psychos on the loose trying to catch you only a month ago? In which you purposely threw yourself into the fire." Erin crossed her arms at her daughter, the two of them facing each other, but still far away. Like they didn't trust each other to get close again. Erin let out a breath.

She approached her daughter, wrapping an arm around Lizzie and pulling her in. Lizzie nuzzle her hair into Erin. She was warm... and Lizzie was cold. Erin kissed the top of her head. By this time Joe and Jackie were standing next to them. Joe ran his hand through his niece's hair and his niece jumped at him, attacking him in a hug.

"Thanks for protecting me all the time." Lizzie mumbled. "God knows I needed it."

"No problem kid. I'm going to protect you from that Ryan kid too. He's not getting anywhere near my niece." He chuckled, giving her a smirk. Erin tilted her head at her daughter. She hadn't known about this. She would have to find out about it later.

Lizzie released from her uncle and walked towards Jackie, who was behind the group for the feeling that she didn't belong. Jackie leaned against a tree, arms crossed, tears running down her cheeks.

"I am so sorry Jackie. I am sorry about Jov and Joe and..." she rambled. "You deserve all the happiness in the world. And I am sorry that the world is cruel and doesn't want to give it to you. But the world is so goddamn wrong. Everyone deserves happiness, but for some reason the snobbier portion gets it easier than the rest." Lizzie glanced from her mother to her uncle, back to her 'aunt'.

"I hope she grows up to be just like you, my sweet girl. Kind, caring, strong. With my luck, she inherited all of my dumb streaks, my ugly laugh, tendency to do stupid things... I don't know if I can do this. I don't know if I can be her mother."

"You can, and you will. We're all going to help you. You're not alone in this anymore." Lizzie gave Jackie a hug, and she meant every word.

...

"To my fellow classmates..." Lizzie began, standing on the podium in front of her whole high school class. "If you had told me my life would change how it did a year ago, I would have told you it was crazy. Things like these only happen in books. We aren't soap opera characters." She looked at her mother, her uncle, her grandfather, and her baby cousin all sitting in the audience, "we are the characters of our own stories. These stories aren't the type that magically resolve themselves at the end. We have to resolve these issues ourselves for ourselves. We wrote these stories with our time and our patience and our tears. It is with these things that we write the endings. And with every ending comes a new beginning. To the class of 2011, I bid you a farewell and a congratulations on the ending of your book. With the conclusion of this story, comes the beginning of another. This is your turning point, so slam the book, shelf it, and look at it when you need to, but start writing the next one. Cause this is it, this is your welcome into the slightly more adult world. Best of luck to all of you."

With the applause of the audience, she resumed her seat upon the stage. She noticed Ryan winking at her, and she smiled back.

"I'm so proud of you." Her mother started, mushing her daughter into a hug as soon as she had stepped close enough. "You finished all of that work and managed to do it with a perfect GPA after everything that happened. I'm so lucky I get to call you my daughter."

Lizzie attempted to keep her tears from that at bay but was saved when she felt a certain toddler hug her leg. "Yay Izzie!" she squealed, hugging the leg. With a sniffle, Lizzie lifted her favorite baby girl into her arms, giving her a tickle.

Jackie and Joe soon followed, making her the deli in an aunt and uncle sandwich. She smiled, happy to be a part of their family. "Lizzie, you need to give some of your smartness to me." Jackie chuckled. "You Reagans are too smart!"

Joe replied to this statement once they had been relieved of their hug. "She only says that because she knows our child will grow up to be Reagan smart!"

"Well Linda was a married-in Reagan and she..." Lizzie tuned them out once she saw her guy standing several feet in front of her. Putting Jovanna down, she chuckled before running at him. He caught her, surprisingly, lifting her up into the air.

"That was such a good speech." He mused. "How did I get someone like you?"

"You didn't." Lizzie chuckled. "I was the lucky one."

"I have something for you." Ryan said as he put her down and dragged her out of the gym into the hallways where parents and graduates were walking in, walking out, and taking photos. Lizzie wasn't sure where they were going and let Ryan lead her to the music room. He left her standing before sticking his hand into a guitar case and pulling out a jewelry box, like the ones you see in the movies.

He got on one knee, and Lizzie could feel her heart racing. She prayed to God he wasn't going to propose to her because she was way too young and wouldn't even consider it at this point in time.

Clicking open the box, she saw a necklace staring back at her. "I wanted to get you something to remember me by. I love you. I want to spend my life with you. I don't know how long it's going to take me to get to New York, but I will find my way to you. Until then, keep this around your neck and close to your heart so you will have me near you always."

The necklace had, of course, a reference to a Broadway musical. Inscribed were the words, remember me, that's all I ask of you.

She put it around her neck and never took it off again.

...

It was weird; it was surreal. Lizzie put a 'for sale' on her childhood home. She whisked boxes away to goodwill, and Erin helped her box the things that she wanted to take with her back to New York. The whole crew took a plane back to New York. Erin loaded her apartment with all of Lizzie's things while Nicky stood on the side and rolled her eyes.

"You're overjoyed that I'm back, aren't you?" Lizzie had joked.

Ryan told her that it was his plan to come see her as soon as possible. She had agreed, knowing that he had a lot of other things to deal with. He was financially constrained, and he responsibilities in his family in Chicago. Lizzie felt a little guilty that she had inherited a rich family and had offered to stay with him, but Ryan had told her she had to go be with her mother and with her family. Lizzie couldn't argue very well with that.

Despite it being June, the Reagans were very set on using their fame to get Lizzie into a school despite how late it was. Not only that, but she was incredibly talented and had had a reason for her distraction from school.

She called Julliard and set up an appointment with them for the next week. They were extremely confused, as auditions never came in that late in the year for the following term. Lizzie only spent that whole week freaking out over it. She spent her days fretting over which song to sing and walking around the apartment singing. Nicky, of course, was annoyed. She tried to get her mother's attention on the subject, but Erin was extremely busy trying to catch up on all her court cases while the girls spent their days with Frank or Lizzie went to Joe's to help with Jovanna.

Lizzie spent a long time debating whether or not she should say something to Nicky, like a big sister should. She wasn't entirely keen on the subject, as she had only had to be a big sister to Jov, which was not very hard, but Nicky was older. She wanted to be treated like an adult. And Lizzie knew she felt inferior to her older sister, for whatever reason.

One night, the night before Lizzie's Julliard audition, she laid awake in her bed, staring at the ceiling. She was listening to the Spotify on her iPad at full blast, trying to comfort her nerves. She was bouncing between the Wicked soundtrack, and her alternative rock playlist. She had a nervous set in her stomach, which was weird considering all that she had gone through. She had become confident, fearless even, in the time after her trauma. Life didn't seem all that scary anymore. It was a little shocking to her how upset she was by this.

She decided on getting up to go get some chocolate milk and oreos to hopefully calm her nerves. Music in her ears, she tip toed down the hallway to the kitchen, opening the fridge and pouring her NYC mug full. She almost had a heart attack when she turned around and her sister was standing there, staring at her.

Lizzie yanked the music out of her eyes, placing a hand on her chest. She glared at Nicky, who wouldn't stop giving her that look. Finally, her eyebrows dropped and she frowned in concern at her older sister.

"You're nervous, aren't you?" The younger asked.

The older nodded. "A little. I'm listening to music, eating some comfort food. I can't sleep."

"Me either." The younger said, sitting at the counter. Her sister leaned over the other side in concern.

"Is everything alright?"

"Ever since Mom left, I spend a lot of time laying awake. I wonder if that's going to be the last night we sleep in peace. When you were all gone, I stayed with Grandpa and Pops, and I just- I couldn't function. I know you think I'm some spoiled brat that went through life way too easy, but the truth is that I'm incredibly jealous of you. You're so strong, smart, funny, beautiful. I'm none of these things. I want to be like you. I want Mom to look at me like she looks at you."

Her older sister peered over the counter at her as she dunked her Oreo in her chocolate milk. "Nicky, I'm not all that great at this older sister stuff, but I need you to know something. You and me, we're different people. But that's not a bad thing. It's a good thing. There are things that Mom loves about you that she doesn't love about me. There are things about Mom she'd rather forget. She looks at me and she sees the guilt. She feels guilty about leaving me when I was a baby and that I had to go through what we went through. She sees you and she sees someone innocent. You're a flower and I'm a trash can. And you are smart. You're strong. You're a Reagan, aren't you? You want to be a cop for god's sake, that's something I could never do, even if I do come from a family of cops. And you're beautiful. I hate your haircut, I think you should grow it out, but you're beautiful."

Her sister couldn't help but let out a laugh. "You're not a trash can. If I'm a flower, then you're a rosebush."

"Enough with the analogies. You're you. You're you and you're not me. You should be proud of who you are." She cleared her throat. "Remember who you are, Simba," she deadpanned. Her sister smiled back at her.

"You're pretty good at this older sister stuff, Lizzie."

Lizzie smiled back at her sister. "Do you want to sleep in my bed with me tonight? And if you want, you can come with me tomorrow. I would love it if you kept me calm on the way there."

"I'd like that very much."


	35. Chapter 35

**I started this chapter a long time ago, and now I am just getting to finish it. I was originally planning on making this the last chapter, but I kind of want to hit 100k, as it would be the first time I would do so, so perhaps another couple chapters, or not. I started this story in the summer before my sophomore year of high school, and I am going to be a senior and wow things have changed, but this is the story I have gotten farthest on, and I want to take it there.**

 **enjoy! xoxo**

"It's going to be fine. It's going to be fine."

Nicky had been repeating those five words, those sixteen letters, those six syllables since the two of them had gotten out of Lizzie's bed that morning. Erin, of course, was grinning a little too widely at the sight of her daughters snoozing together under the warm covers.

She had opened Nicky's bedroom door to see if Nicky was asleep and freaked out at the sight of an empty bed. She knew she shouldn't panic, at least not yet, but there had been so many bad things happening to their family that she couldn't help the fear that rose up in her stomach.

Opening the door to Lizzie's room, she relaxed at the sight of both of her daughters clumped under the covers. Lizzie was on her side, but Nicky had completely submerged her face into her sister's back. The sight made tears come to Erin's eyes. She sniffled, walking to the kitchen to let them sleep a little while longer.

She had a bit of a dance party when she got to the kitchen. She put some earbuds in, blasting some good old tunes, and rocking her way around the kitchen island. Letting out a breath, she finally felt relaxed. She felt calmer than ever. She felt good.

She couldn't wipe the smile off of her face even if she tried.

It had started the minute they had walked into the kitchen. Erin had been leaning on the counter, sipping out of her coffee mug when the two of them sat down at the counter. She grinned, and she grinned some more. The two girls looked at each other, then back at their mother.

"You guys are bonding!" she squealed. "It's finally happening!"

Lizzie resisted the urge to roll her eyes at her mother. She understood that it meant a lot to her, and she was overjoyed to see her mom smiling, but she couldn't, for the love of god, keep that straight face for any longer. She was still incredibly nervous. And you know what she does when she's nervous?

Laugh. Uncontrollably. Like a hyena. Need she say more?

Grabbing half of a toasted bagel, she took a bite, walking away from the two of them. She needed to go relax before she went into a full-blown panic attack over her audition.

"Mom, Lizzie asked me if I could go with her to the audition! She asked me!" Nicky squealed at her mother. Her mother just continued smiling.

"I'm so glad you two are finally getting along. It's about time."

"I think we understand each other a little bit more now. Obviously, we don't know each other inside and out because we didn't grow up together. But to me, it feels like we did. It feels like she has been here for my whole life."

Erin felt the same way. She couldn't remember what her life was like before she had both of her daughters under the roof. She finally felt complete. She had everything she needed.

The two of them got dressed, Lizzie putting on a formal dress and Nicky putting on some jeans. Nicky helped Lizzie do her hair, she was wearing it natural again, hoping to grow it out. Nicky brushed through it, clipping it back.

"Aw my girls, you're both so beautiful." Erin admired, walking into the room with her iPhone clearly in camera mode. "Smile girls!"

It almost felt normal. It almost felt like Lizzie had been living there her whole life. She knew that wasn't the case, the woman hadn't raised her. But standing there at that moment, she felt like it didn't matter. They were together now.

Lizzie got the keys to the car, telling Erin to go to work and get caught up on everything (Lizzie knew her mother was slacking and needed to get her head back in. Also, she needed to do this alone. Yes, she was a terrible daughter).

"I love you," Erin said, kissing her daughter's forehead. "Call me as soon as you're out of there. Come to my office if you want! I want to hear all about it."

Lizzie nodded. "Sounds good, Mom."

Erin's face turned to one of pure joy. "You just called me Mom."

"I always call you Mom..." Lizzie started, sensing that this would delay her getting on the road to Julliard. What had she done? Tears were going to start flowing. Ugh! She shouldn't have said anything!

"Say it again," Erin begged, the smile on her face making Lizzie even more guilty. She hugged her mom again. She really was a bad daughter!

"Mother of mine, I have to go. I am taking my younger counterpart and we are going to drive down the highway singing questionable music and I am going to nail this audition. Then you can hug me and hear me call you Mom all you want. Goodbye, I love you, Mom."

She dragged Nicky out the door before any of them could say anything else.

"Aw. That was so sweet." Nicky started.

"Don't start." Lizzie bit, getting into the front seat of her mother's car. "I am way too anxious to be thinking about that right now. She aggressively tapped the radio buttons until something semi-decent came on. "Let's sing." She said, putting on her sunglasses and rolling in reverse.

...

Nicky watched her sister's leg shake nervously for the whole twenty minutes they were sitting in the waiting room. Watching her older sister be anxious was making her anxious. It wasn't even her future. Although she had to admit she really was rooting for her older sister. She deserved this. She deserved to get what she wanted after all that had happened to her. Everyone deserves to be happy. Especially Lizzie.

"Elizabeth Reagan." The scary Julliard called, making both Reagan sisters' hearts skip a beat.

"Good luck Lizzie. I believe in you. I love you, somewhat," Nicky bit, trying to put her sister at ease. She was going to freak herself out if she kept inducing anxiety on herself.

Lizzie's feet felt like blocks as she made her way onto the stage. She recognized the man she had met at her show next to the other two adults sitting in a sole row in the middle of the auditorium. She cleared her throat. This was the part where she went off-script and blew it for herself. It was the only way she could clear her nerves. They would probably think she was crazy. She was okay with that.

"Um, hi." Lizzie started. "I don't know if people talk during these things, they probably don't, but I just need to say that my life was completely flipped upside down a few months ago. I found my birth family, got involved in a mafia war, and watched my mother get sexually assaulted on a multitude of occasions. It changed her life, it changed my life, it made us tainted in a way that only victims are. But my mother is not a victim, and this song, that I wrote, is about that."

She sat down at the piano and played the first cord.

Jackie and Joe had found some sort of pattern in taking care of Jovanna. They were still awaiting a court date to be reinstated full parental custody and were really just trying to get the girl to trust in them. God knows that had been hard.

Jackie was actually incredibly jealous of the fact that her daughter had, of course, taken to Lizzie the instant she saw her. It was unbelievable that the girl recognized her. Lizzie said she had been with them for a few months before the fall-through, and that Jov clearly must have been happy there because it was the time she associated with being happy.

The front door of the apartment opened. Jackie looked up from where she was sitting, watching Jov play with some blocks. "Where are my two favorite girls? I have a surprise for you!" He called from the doorway. Jov looked up from her action with curiosity in her eyes. Jackie craned her head to see her- whatever Joe was- coming towards them with a bag in his hands.

"I come bearing fried chicken and french fries!" He sing-songed, placing the bag on the table and shuffling to go get plates and forks.

Jackie placed Jovanna in the high chair and began cutting some chicken for her to eat. She quietly chewed her french fries, watching her parents interact.

This was her mommy and daddy. She still couldn't believe she had found them and found Lizzie. Lizzie was the one person she had always remembered no matter where she ended up. Lizzie was her best friend.

Jackie began fishing through the chicken box in hopes of finding the wings when she noticed something shiny hanging off the wing.

Oh my god.

"Joe...?" she started, looking up from the ring that hung off. "What is this?"

He turned around from the counter. "Is there a ring on your wing?" He chuckled cornily. He grew more serious then, coming over to her and getting on one knee.

"Will you marry me?"

Jackie couldn't form words. "Joe..."

"I know it's sudden and crazy and it could go to hell. But life is short. People die and fake their deaths and they don't get to say how they feel. I love you. I love you with every fiber of my being and I want to spend every moment I have left loving you. I want to grow old with you and make pancakes and go swim with dolphins and lay on beaches and give Jovanna the life she deserves!"

"Joe... we don't work. What if the adoption fails? They'll take her away from us and we won't be able to come back from it. I'm not a Reagan. I don't fit at your table."

"You will because you'll be my wife."

"You're what?"

"My wife. We can go to City Hall tonight and make it official."

"And if it goes to hell?"

"Then we work through it."

...

Lizzie dropped Nicky off, mumbling about having errands to run. In truth, she just needed some time to process.

Her piano playing had been raw, as it should have been. She poured everything into the song. She felt herself on another wavelength. After a while though, itu became too much. The thoughts racing through her head. Her mother crying out in pain. Her uncle being shot. Jackie. Jovanna.

She had collapsed to the ground, letting the sobs engulf her.

"I am sorry." She had exclaimed. "I am beyond... sorry."

And she had run out of the room crying.

She drove all the way to Manhattan, parking in 1PP with the excuse that her grandfather was the Commissioner.

She went up to his office, giving Baker a polite hug before walking into his office and plopping down onto one of the chairs.

Her grandfather looked up from his paperwork. "Elizabeth." He greeted. "How did your audition go?"

Lizzie shook her head. "I don't want to talk about it yet. Give me a couple minutes."

He nodded. "Okay. Do you want something to eat or drink?"

She smiled at him. "No thanks, Grandpa. I just need some time to process, and this seemed like the best place to do it."

"You're right. It is."

They sat in silence. Frank continued filling out his paperwork, and Lizzie paced the office, contemplating her thoughts. When her phone buzzed from its spot on the table, the both of them stared at it, not moving.

"Well, you should pick it up! It could be Juilliard!"

She didn't want to. Because she already knew.

She put the phone up to her ear. "Hello?"

"Hi. Is this Elizabeth Reagan?"

Gulp. "This is she."

"Hi, Ms. Reagan. We're regretful to inform you that because of your late application, you were unable to obtain a spot in our program. We believe that you will be a good fit for the school and encourage you to try again next year."

She didn't remember what happened after that.

She ran.

She ran some more.

She took the car and drove.

Eventually, she was sitting by the river, just staring at it.

It wasn't the fact that she didn't get in that bothered her, it was more so that the things that happened to her seemed to follow her wherever she went.

She didn't know how long she sat there until the sound of feet behind her broke her from her trance.

Erin sat down next to her daughter, letting the wind calmly play with her hair. Her daughter's face didn't ring upset, so she was just going to let her start the conversation.

"Let's backpack through Europe." She started, turning to look at her mom. "It's the one thing I haven't done yet. We can go and we can take Nicky and just explore all of it. We only live once and we've spent too much time being upset about how things ended up. We need to enjoy the rest of our time. Please, Mom."

Erin stared back at her child. She was right, in a sense, that they had spent too much time being unhappy and being in situations that could have ended their lives. They needed to forget these things, to pack them away in a spot where they only came up in remembrance that did not come with nervewracking pain.

"It's a good idea, Liz. I think that we could all benefit from it. But what about school?"

"I didn't get in, Mom. And honestly, I'm okay with it. After everything that's happened, going to college doesn't seem like the right move right now. I am going to go to college, of course, I am, but it doesn't have to be now. I don't feel ready yet."

Erin scooted closer to her daughter, letting her rest her head in the crook of her arm, a spot that felt like it was made just for her. "And that's okay. Not being ready. Maybe you could take a gap year and use it to study abroad, do a mission trip, teach English, whatever. And we can all go and then when you're ready to go back to real life, you can come back."

Lizzie nodded, hugging her mom some more. "Life's a beach."

"But the view is great, isn't it?"

...

Lizzie trudged her suitcase behind her. They were probably going to miss the flight because her sister was a piece of dog poop that overslept and didn't roll into the car at the right time. And her Uncle Danny had gotten up to drive them to the airport and everything.

"And you're sure you don't want us to come with you?" Danny asked for what seemed like the thousandth time. They really were overprotective.

"Danny, we are going to be absolutely fine. I will call you every day, I promise. And if I don't call you, whichever Reagan I choose to call will most definitely inform you of my wellbeing."

Ah, sibling love.

"Lizzie." Her uncle Danny called to her from where he stood by the car. She had trudged out the luggage and was standing next to the door with her half-asleep sister. Lizzie parked her luggage and walked back to her uncle, smiling at him.

"Have fun. But stay safe. And call me if there are any mysterious characters on your European voyage."

"Will do, Detective Reagan." Lizzie giggled, putting her arms up in mock salute. He smacked her playfully on the arm, before pulling her in for a hug.

He put his lips up to her ear. "I am so proud of you kid. Every day. I love you."

"I love you too, Uncle Danny."

And the three Reagan women walked into the airport, leaving Danny Reagan alone in the parking lane, leaning on his car.


End file.
